Anyone else feel completely alone, more than usual, around their birthday? I HATE it when my birthday comes around. I stress about it before it gets here because I know no one is going to remember. And I have no friends. So my birthday is just a normal day, with my boyfriend begging me to get dressed up and go out. But for what? I’m not excited about it, and every birthday has turned into a complete disaster. I stopped celebrating after a particular experience where I finally decided to dress up and enjoy my birthday. I had two friends who had the same birthdate. ALL of my friends forgot about mine and celebrated theirs and I felt so crushed that I even changed back into normal clothes, took off my makeup and went on with my day like normal. It was honestly really hard for me. And the worst part for this year, is that I’m turning the big 21. From what I’ve seen, that’s supposed to be the next big birthday that you go and legally drink for the first time with friends and maybe go clubbing, idk. But Of course, I’m too scared to go dancing with crowds of people. So this birthday will probably be another lonely day. I’ll probably end up going to a gas station and buying some beer just to have the I.D experience and call it a day. I hate that society has made birthdays into this big extravagant thing, is that why I feel so alone? I’m sorry that this post seems ridiculous, but when you’ve had horrible birthdays since childhood, it really starts to hurt. I see my friends celebrate theirs, all dressed up and beautiful. And I can’t even clean up nicely for one night because I’m not attractive and I look younger than I really am. It’s just all too embarrassing. Thanks for reading if you did. Have a nice day.
Birthday stress: Anyone else feel... - Mental Health Sup...
Birthday stress
Hi Rhe-bee,
I understand. I really do. I've had some disappointing birthdays over the years, and it's usually the really "big" ones. I won't go into detail because I don't want hijack your post. It does hurt and it can result in starting to dread each birthday. I'm sorry you've had these experiences.
I can't think of much to suggest, but I would honestly just say use the day to do something completely for you, that you Want to do. Don't worry about confirming to society's expectations.
The way I see it, I would say your birthday is the One day of the year when it's truly acceptable to selfish. So just be selfish. Take the opportunity.
Don't worry about pleasing anyone else. If you don't want to go out, don't - you don't even have to have your boyfriend around if you don't want to.
Just do what you want to do for You, don't give anyone else a second thought. If you want to eat chocolate pancake for breakfast, do it. If you've seen something you really like in the shop (unless you're certain someone is giving to you as a present) by it, treat yourself. Maybe there's a really nice bath set you've seen. You might decide to get it, have a long bath and then watch your favourite film. Maybe watch it while having your favourite take out, ice cream and yes, a glass of wine for the ID experience if you want. But it's up to you.
You know yourself more than anyone, so the only person who'll know truly what you desire, and who you can rely on to make you happy, is you. 
And you've got the perfect excuse.
I really hope you manage to enjoy it.
ww xx
Thank you wallflower, I appreciate it. I’ll figure out something I’m sure. I usually always do haha. And you wouldn’t have hijacked my post, my ears and mind are always open to hearing other people’s experiences. It helps take me away from my own or a second and realize I’m not alone and that others have experienced very similar problems. If you’d like to share yours, I wouldn’t mind at all. Thank you for reading my post, helped brighten my day
You're welcome. I usually find if I go into it with low expectations, then I have a better time.
My 21st was disappointing because I was trying to please other people and I basically got caught in the middle of two "friends" arguing with one another - it was incredibly petty and hurtful as they made it about them and I made less effort to include them in the future, thinking more about what would please me.
My 18th was pretty disappointing too because we didn't really do anything. I told my family months before what I wanted to do but they didn't prepare anything and put something together last minute. When I first told them, they just said they couldn't think that far ahead and kept putting it off. So it was just a regular celebration - except my granddad was dying and no one sang me happy birthday. They just forget to, I'm guessing because of the stress of my grandfather. It's hard to remember now. On the actual day I went to school and no one there knew it was my birthday. No one really spoke to me that day. It was depressing. It was the weekend after we had the celebration.
On my 16th birthday I wasn't feeling well. This was because I'd recently got Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain and fatigue condition - although at this point I hadn't received the diagnosis so no one understood what was wrong and other people were beginning to doubt my perception of my physical health. Of course, I was right about there being something wrong and I felt very alone with it.
That's the abridged version. I'll come back to explain in more detail later.
But you're definitely not alone. and I want to give you some hope - my recent birthdays have been better. 
xx
It’s inspiring to read this and I’m happy to know you’ve been having better birthdays☺️ I’ve read about the incredibly hard issues dealing with Fibromyalgia and I have to say you’re a very strong person! It blows my mind when I read other stories so similar to what I went through growing up, and really gets my mind out of this negative way of thinking I’ve developed. Like when you said ,” I usually find that if I go into it with low expectations, then I have a better time.” That’s pretty much how I am with everything.
I understand the feeling of knowing something is wrong with your health but you can’t figure it out, or everyone doubts that anything is actually wrong. For me, my 18th birthday was close to your 16th. I got diagnosed with Anorexia and got my first drivers license on that day lol. And nobody bothered to ask what was going on with me until I got to about 85 pounds and my hip bones were sticking out of my body.
I hope to hear more of your story soon, and I hope that you are way further from those times of loneliness and pain and in better health now😊
Oh I hate my birthday too, and I also end up more depressed! It's the feeling of getting another year older that I can't cope with; another year closer to being six foot under.
Oh I'm all doom and gloom me, aren't I!
Hi I know where you are coming from. When I hit 21 I had moved to a new area and had only made a couple of casual friends but I had arranged to go out with them. Then one of them cancelled and then the other so I spent my 21st birthday alone in my bedsit crying my eyes out. I was too proud to tell my family and to this day they still don't know.
I did determine that I was going to celebrate my big birthdays in future in style and I have done. I hope you manage to enjoy yourself anyway. I wish I was 21 again (mind you the thought of going back and doing it all again is absolutely exhausting). x
What seems like the right thing to do could also be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life
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