What seems like the right thing to do could also be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life

What seems like the right thing to do could also be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life

Feeling low today, not quite as low as yesterday......

It's my birthday end of June. I'm not big on birthdays....although my daughter loves any celebration and loves surprises. This was no exception when it was her partners mums birthday...a lovely day at a spar was one of the gifts..I was invited but declined...I never know how I'm going to feel and I don't know her that well so decided easier to let them all go and enjoy and I was pleased for them...they had numerous birthday cakes and gifts over a couple of days, the birthday seemed never ending hahaha so much so I was beginning to get a little fed up with it...it was all a little over the top .....3 birthday cakes, 3 songs of happy birthday on seperate occasions but becoming annoying....I was glad when it was over and the lady in question went home.

..I should say I live with my daughter and her partner it all works very well quite a large house and we all get along fine..they are hardly ever here as they both work full time and socialise a lot.....

Anyway yesterday I asked my daughter what plans she had for the weekends of the next couple of months...I will cut it v short..

Her partners mum comes to stay quite a bit....and she has invited herself for my birthday, we had so far made no plans...I wondered if I was being awful, but why doesn't this woman consider I may wish to do something with my daughter alone..I DON'T want the same bloody scenario I had when she was here ....I know people would say speak to your daughter tell her etc etc....but I can't it would put my daughter in a very awkward situation and she is lovely and has done so much for me....

I would not be so inconsiderate, if I were in the same situation and I new it was her birthday I would say, 'I won't come that weekend as you may have plans with your mum' its different if after that you are invited..if we do anything now she has to come along,,she would sulk if she were left out...

I was upset about it last night, my poor daughter ends up paying out for this too, because if we go for a meal to celebrate on the day or whatever we do she will pay for her too...I hardly know her I don't want to be with her ..I feel I had no choice in it all...I don't need this crap, I find celebrations and stuff hard enough....

...I called a friend and she is away the week of my birthday and has asked if I would like to house sit...she lives right on the beach a 3 hr drive from here,,,I have agreed to go.

I don't mind spending my birthday on my own in fact I prefer it rather than be with inconsiderate people..who appear afraid to miss out on something...

...I will celebrate my birthday with my daughter the following weekend....perhaps in a nice quiet little restaurant...:)

I hope I am well enough to make the journey, although think I will be as I have a determination to do it....maybe that's good for me..and in fact the inconsiderate person may have helped me :)

Just felt the need to write this down, sometimes writing things down makes you feel better.........

13 Replies

  • I completely agree with you. I wouldn't want someone else's mum butting in on a special occasion with my children. To be honest, she should be realising this herself and not putting you in such an awkward position. Where's the house-sit? Somewhere nice?

  • Thanks suzie, sometimes I think I overreact as suffering with lows, but knowing the bigger picture and knowing how much quality time she gets with them, it's not fair...

    Anyway I'm looking forward to going house sitting now, it's in Llanfairfachan in Wales...in some ways it's good as it will be like a little mini holiday..shame I've got to be on my own on my birthday but I'm not into my birthday anyways so it's ok..

    Hope you are ok xxx

  • Like Susie I too agree & think you've done whats right for you. I'm sure if you take your daughter to the side & explain you dont like a lot of fuss she will understand. Perhaps she already knows.

    I hate celebrations of any kind for myself. I'd much prefer to blend into the background. I feel they put a lot of undue stress & anxiety on you if your not that way inclined.

    Be good to yourself.

    Jackie :) xx

  • Thank you, it helps to receive nice replies on here :)



  • Sounds like a lovely holiday is coming up for you. i think this woman is rather presumptive thinking she should be in on your birthday. Sometimes we need some space. Go and enjoy your break and look forward to a nice birthday luch with your daughter when you are home again. Take the time to be kind to yourself .... go for walks on the beach and let the fresh air and sea breeze calm you and relax you. Have a great time.xxxx

  • Thank you. I am looking forward to it...bit of a long drive but I will stop off too..

    Looking forward to the beach :)


  • That sounds like my idea of a lovely time. On Monday I cycled to a remote beach and spent a bit of time chilling out in a almost deserted area. I didn't want to leave. Take some books, puzzles or magazines with you and enjoy some time for you. Also on the actual day plan to do something like cooking a nice meal or going to a restaurant. What a shame though as I'm still teaching otherwise I would be there with you like a shot!

    Best wishes Tracey xxx

  • Remote beaches ah yes....sound lovely..

    Would have been nice to have your company too....will blog all about it when I return..

    Thank you Tracey I really do appreciate the input

    Sue xxx

  • I was going to suggest going away for your birthday,, Im going to go away for christmas, and my birthday which follows soon after,,, its always crap anyway:(

  • Yes glad I'm going away xxx

  • Keep that positive thought.

    My daughter has just stopped me from seeing my grand kids, because I came to visit without an invite, (I dont tow the line) how many people do you think have to call first before you can visit your own daughter, no one else does in the family.. Pity you cant choose your family lmao,, take care hon were here for you.

  • I only bought them an ice cream each because it was a nice day...

  • Aw bless ya ...thank you xx