Feeling Meh today

[Cat_cat44]

Not the best day, depression feels numbling and slow to push myself today. My body is fighting to shower so I can to go to the laundromat and get coffee. So many thoughts swirling. I feel bad my daughter don’t have a friend to hangout with every weekend, and at school sometimes the children don’t treat her well. I try to tell her thats how they act sometimes and I went through it and still do even as an adult. She’s absent and late alot from school, and I have to stay on her about her hygiene. She has adhd but its not her as a person. She is a sweet girl and it only affects her learning, organising things, and wanting to get things over with quickly. But she has a Mom who is dealing with mental issues myself so alot of mornings are hard. And a Dad who is here but not here, if thats understood.

Also earlier this week I was excited about starting a job, however when I went for the orientation I was not feeling it plus the pay was low and in long term I felt it would not benefit me so why force myself. So I declined. I was feeling great with my decision. Even got another offer for a job i may like on the same day. But unorganized me didnt get my carfare in time so I missed orientation for that, now there all out of spots and I have to wait for the next orientation. Meanwhile I continue to feel out applications. I’m feeling very discouraged right now though. Not a lack of self confidence but discouraged that I will never find a job I can stay long term and improve my current situation. My apologies for this long post but I had to get it out my brain.

[Rick1on1]

Hi - glad you getting this all out.

Are you on meds?

[Cat_cat44 in reply to Rick1on1]

Thanks for reaching out to me Rick. Yes I am but unfortuanately meds don’t change situations. It just changes how u deal with them. And more things happened, as I just posted. I have my therapy appt tomorrow im going to run there!!

[Rick1on1 in reply to Cat_cat44]

Yes - I know it's tough. I have had a tough time these last couple of months.

I find that setting a small goal and then rewarding myself for achieving it is helping. As time goes on..the reward must get smaller so that you can run on your own steam!

[Cat_cat44 in reply to Rick1on1]

I know how u feel. The last few months been hard as heck on me too. I cannot wait until 2018 is over. Yes I agree setting small goals then rewarding is great. I reward myself with coffee if I have the money on that day.

[Rick1on1 in reply to Cat_cat44]

Coffee? I need to feed my sweet tooth LOL

[Florida1959]

Think you need some long walks and to get your confidence back, step by step, try rewarding yourself fir small things, even as simple as that was great you got up and had a shower, some folk can’t, it’s great you git another job offer the same day, amazing, good luck, xx

[Cat_cat44 in reply to Florida1959]

Thanks. Yes I took a shower but gettin there was difficult. Please don’t let the pic fool you, that was a time when I was in a better place right before the trauma that happened this past few months. I struggle and today I decided when I have my psych appt next fri im going to see if it may be time I took some time off from working. I can’t handle many things right now.

[maarsh]

i can only imagine the struggles you are faced with and only if it was possible i'd help carry the burdens...as harsh as it might sound but its true that we are the solution to our problems we have to march on not because we can but we have to.That little Angel needs you more

From this day forth you will always be in my thoughts and prayers

All the best

[Cat_cat44 in reply to maarsh]

Thank you for your prayers! I am a believer but unfortuanately my faith in anything is very shaky right now. I been through so much since I was even born. And you’re right; my Aunt said the same thing that I have to do what I have to for the sake of my daughter.

[Hidden]

This time of year when it is a matter of a week or so until Christmas, New Year companies may prefer to wait till the New Year to take anyone on and it is sad you missed out on those two vacancies.

All I can suggest is take the Festive Season and run with it. What sort of work do you prefer ?

BOB

[Cat_cat44 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Bob and yes that’s true, alot of jobs start hiring after the seasons are over. I still continue to apply places. But as I mentioned to someone else, I may not be able to handle working right now so when I have my psych doc appt, we’ll see what will work best. I like warehouse/ working with my hands jobs, labs, etc. And the hours have to work out so my daughter is not by herself too long.

[Hidden in reply to Cat_cat44]

You have a nice Christmas with our Daughter, everything at this time of year may be contracted for the Festive Season and generally companies prefer not to pay new staff over the holiday period.

I have not worked for decades now and I would always disappear over the Christmas so I never really went out with work or staff for their Christmas Parties.

BOB