Hi all, thank you for allowing me to join. I struggle with communicate well this is all I have typed In 5 hours I know I sound a joke, All I have done is type/delete. I feeling empty and writing how I feel well its something no one ever wanTs to have discuss.
Okay I am now age 23 male, I have been diagnosed with adhd and Medicated since 6. I was diagnosed with anxiety depression at 13. I was hard work hyperactive impulsive and i caused as much harm to my self I accept that and it don’t get me down regarding my injury’s. Medication is a life safer for most it’s how I finicton. I didn’t know tablets would harm and I never had any other option given at 15 I was long term on mirtazinpine 45mg riperidone 2mg. Straterra 60mg lanzoprosoles 60mg domperidone. I feel lost writing that it’s disgusting I had no sense badk then i just self medicated and went down hil after many years. I don’t feel angry and unable to leave it drop. I am the reason I’m in such a state, but if our system wasn’t failing in many parts then maybe being incouraged from gps meds should be last not throw me on them easy life for a few years.
Yes sorry don’t make much sense I know how I make my self not get help, I have learning on what adhd is and how so many of my worse moments can be partly to adhd. But yet I don’t blame That I have been left by mental health team to where It’s or me past the biggest of my fear speak up denial, I know obsessed not because I’m stick up because I know I haven’t been treated to the standards but sorry the bus has been failing in many parts of mental health. But they hate us if we tell them how we are suffering. I don’t where to turn from here I guess? I am 8 hours of trying to this and I always end up but I am not angry it’s the scary part I just been sat in baTh haven’t moved for 8 hours I spent my days getting mental health to even change meds and leaving self’s harms i am given a carecordiantar who I have no trust from the previous year, yet my risk assement is i often leave or end a service with sobeome I don’t feel who’s listen to my concerns? I have text for weeks on end asking him and he ignores me. Intill I lose it, for god Sake mun are these people for real a degree, many years I begeee and cried refused to leave crisis home treatment 3 times a week, all last summer nothing to be proud of I don’t ever run to drunk or street drugs, but I been Diazapam on and off for nearly a year it’s such a failure how I can’t get help then I’m forced to lose it like I spent weeks not able to sleep, but crisis team are short term they know how much I hate kicking off and how I want to make my life change but my mental health team still give Me the same bloody careworke 😂 sorry i wasn’t with it it guilty yo for so long and I was threaten on The phone I had abiu 12 police turn up? Yes complete my fault and violence should more serious but police stayd till I seen in crisis discharged my care codinator done risk assement I was no risk to staff or any one he left a lot blank honestly it’s a joke.... but then I send him a text blunt and I Ann ring every day for weeks just told he’s back next week and so on I find out I’m banned from threatening words in text? No it’s not pitty but I haven’t had a bloody say they know I have built up a lot evidence but yeah I have no further mental health access? I know I sound not well yes I’m deffo not the same but I get police for going mad on phone call he doesn’t even mention it when he had to do risk assement due to it I’m no risk. But then he can just change the rules and ban me for a test message?
I don’t feel life I just live, I don’t have any friends, don’t leave the house really.i have avoided denial for many years the one thing I can’t stop is how it’s affected family. My partner 7 years, I love her and I don’t use her I love her, but I give up trying for help I was chocking night vomiting acid. Yes I speak now but gps mental health for nearly 2 years blamed it on mental health, i talk now but till rencently i just went with it, but I had surgery to repair my food pipe Nisan funsoplication, 4 years ago, and it’s not great with liftsyle I have long term,