Thinking about going to mental hospital because I am depressed and not taking good care of myself. I have an appt. with my psychiatrist tomorrow but usually that’s a 20 min conversation about meds and it’s very rushed with no feelings of connection to him. I feel I have to be as diplomatic as possible because he has the power to decide if I can continue my program. I’ve been seeking mental health care for 4 years and it’s never been steady enough for me to make major sustainable gains. I have to beg people to help me and I am tired of it my ex helps me but I feel my begging and complaining sustains much of that. I also am very supportive of her - she is type A person, so I have to really make sure to fit into her schedule for the support. Outside of that I’m just losing the will to keep battling the mental health system. At first it was my disorder and now it’s the mental health system that is making my symptoms worse. I just want to dive into the inpatient realm in the hopes it would force them to give me more immediate care. By all accounts I heard inpatient is horrible but I’ve been denied case workers to help me even while sleeping in my car. I don’t want to harm myself or others and I don’t understand why that is the point at which you can get emergency care. How bout feeling horrible and in emotional pain, having chronic insomnia, losing the will to be productive, why aren’t these things enough to get more intensive care?
When to go to the Emergency Psych Cen... - Mental Health Sup...
When to go to the Emergency Psych Center?
From my experience my biggest problem is anxiety and when is what at its worst I was too afraid to even go outside let alone check myself into a hospital. I was on the brink a few times during some bad panic attacks. I was too afraid to let anybody see me in that state. I was so afraid of humiliation. I felt so vulnerable and easily taken advantage of. Fortunately I may have just recently found a big help to my problems but it's very early still. I wish you the best though rob. You seem like a genuine caring person. I cant do much but share my experience with you sadly. If you feel strong enough try to see if you can visit a mental hospital to see whatit's like. I always wanted to before I would check myself in but I was agoraphobic basically. Maybe if you met some of the people there you could get an idea of what it could be like.
Thanks for sharing your experience with me. My anxiety effects my ability to share spaces with people, be touched by people and so on. It’s only extreme desperation that has led me to be able to attempt to do impatient. I had to call 5 numbers today today to let my Dr. know I would be ten minutes late to our appt and never was able to get a person on the phone to tell him that. When I explained at the front desk that this was anxiety inducing as I was afraid of losing the appt I was met with their aggravations about my complaint. I asked them to try and call their own office using the number I was given to leave a message like I needed too and they would see it leads you on a goose case. My Dr. was argumentative I told him I didn’t want to argue but to make sure I was given the correct process to change appts or call to say I am late if needed, that I did not want to make an issue in front of the whole waiting room, he lead me back to his office and things were amicable after that but I just felt like I needed to put on a happy face when inside I was sad and tired. I thought to myself there is no way I am going to bring up being admitted I just need to find away to get by and give my treatymy best efforts, but here I am up after a sleepless night. This has been a long vent to you. Thanks for your kindness. In reality I am too scared to be in impatient maybe today the angels helped me through but I still believe I need a much more comprehensive treatment plan to get back to being a productive person. I have written here on some steps to take to get back to going outside. Let me know if you ever need to talk about it.
Glad I could have a positive effect and become friends. I'll help the best way I can. I've been down to rock bottom and I never imagined things could get so bad. If you want to talk about insecurities and stuff like that I've pretty much lived with them all my life. It seems a lot of it seems to be coming from my lacking of thyroid hormone production. I should have been diagnosed when I was 8 but unfortunately it took until I was 28. I just started this drug called cytomel only a few days ago and it's like my brain got CPR. I feel like going for a run for like the first time in forever. I can feel the tension in my head muscles releasing. The anxiety level has dropped from like an 8 to a 4 in only a few doses.
Awesome! I’m happy to hear this is working for you. The run will get probably make you feel even better! Nice meeting you and yes I have major insecurities. Much of it stems from being yelled at most of my childhood and never being encouraged by my parents or have my talents acknowledged. So much so that when I was complimented by others as an adult it made me unbelievably uncomfortable and my stomach turn.
I've been playing around with my medication and didnt feel so well this past week or so, so I couldn't really answer you. I was yelled at a lot by mom as well. She was miserable most of my time growing up I remember. I dont really think she liked kids because they had so much energy and she couldn't really contain me. She would always be so defensive and make you feel guilty about petty things. I'm not even angry at her anymore. I feel more sad for her because she had to go through life like that now that I'm going through that myself.
It’s great you see it with empathy I wish I had more for my mother before she passed and regret not being able to come to terms with the way she was. I now see that she was just as isolated and lonely as I was.
I think what is important is that you came to terms with her. You let go of that anger towards her because you understand what she went through. You dont owe her anything. You should've been able to grow up in a healthier environment and she didnt provide that for you. I had a hard time with hating my mom for a while. It just became pointless for me after a while. It was just wasting my energy. Now I just treat her like I would anybody else.I'm definitely not lovey dovey with her though.
I got to that point with both my parents and one day while walking away from both of them I said to myself, I have parents - that’s nice, and in that moment just appreciated having two parents almost like revisiting a treehouse that was still around from my youth. But one night I looked at them as fixtures of my youth and when my mom exhibited certain behaviors I told her never to call me again. 6 months later she passed and I wish I had just let myself treat her like a person who I knew rather than a person who I had yet to forgive. But I thank you for your perspective because it is definitely those thoughts that often came to me, after a while I just felt my interactions were unhealthy and needed to stop.
Slushy
To be honest wanting to visit a Mental Health Ward, personally all I will say regards that, I do not know what you expect, We live in the North of England and we have two very good ones one in Morpeth and the other good one in Newcastle. Both are very modern now and in most cases yes the wards are closed, however many patients may have their own rooms
Patients walk around in normal clothes and part of some patients treatment they are able to work in Society and return at night while others have activities they enjoy, it all depends on the Ward and patient.
The main thing now is they prefer people are put back in Society as soon as possible. The hospital I always feel is very quiet as you walk around there is nothing really to say it is a Mental Health Hospital. I spent a day visiting three Wards and was there to talk to the patients and Staff about the running of the Ward and any problems they were having . It was very interesting although to be honest I would have no interest to visit if I did not have a report too write.
What is your need to visit a Mental Health Hospital ??
BOB
I just would want to hear from the patients if their is any abuse or poor treatment happening. In the US there are still situations where people get committed and then have a terrible time trying to leave if they want to. You are basically handing over a lot of your freedom and you can be taken advantage of. The mental health facilities are overcrowded and sometimes people have to be sent far away from their homes to get care. I'm pretty sure once you do check in it's much harder to get hired because people can see that you were hospitalized. I feel like it's become a last resort for a lot of people rather than a safe place to try to get yourself back together.
In the UK I have not personally heard of any problems when I have been on the wards. We would isolate the Patient when discussing problems, privacy would have been the main obligation. Mind I have not been doing this now for about two to three years.
I cannot talk regards the States, also I was not around until around 2017 or so with that duty. All I can say the system was ok
BOB
Hi I really feel you. I just moved to Sweden and I’ve been begging doctors to take me as I’ve been receiving treatment for ptsd, depression and anxiety which are still severe mental health issues for me. As you say, the mental health care system makes me feel worse. I suggest you take things in your hands and read by yourself and maybe find online treatment while you are still looking for a good professional. There are plenty of really affordable online options. I am really sorry you and so many of us need to go through it and not get the help we need. The emergency center or some bad “professionals” might make you even worse as happened to me at least. All the best wishes!
Wow! I hope you have good luck there! I was looking to defect to Scandinavia to attend a hospital called Bergen for an intensive OCD program but when I called them they told me I could not receive treatment there as a foreigner. I was amazed how direct and responsive they were to me though and appreciated there honesty. I was thinking about going as a refugee to receive mental health care in another country but I love America too much to leave it. But at a certain point I start to wonder about if there are better systems elsewhere and how long I can wait to get adequate care from an actual psychologist with a nutritional and therapeutic component added to it. I’ve learned so much from online thanks for the advice and support. And I hope you can get treatment in Sweden soon.
Thank you! I hope you find the treatment you need too 
you might say that I was unlucky but I know others who were struggling too. I also know people who found good treatment in Northern Europe however most of the people I know who got it were fluent in the local languages. I guess it all depends. Do your research before you move to a country for sure
When you have your appointment make a list of your concerns, this will help you get more out of your appointment, Twenty mins is not very long and you need to concentrate your thoughts and need to explain how You feel.
You only need to go to hospital if you are in danger. Generally if you are feeling uncertain and frightened call NHS Information line on Tel 111, explain how you feel.
Your fist port of call is your GP, or Therapist where you make that list to take with you.
If you have been sleeping in your car, your Therapist needs to know as well as your GP.
BOB
Thanks Bob. I wish I made a physical list today I was basically still asking questions as I was walking out the door. My Dr. didn’t seemed too concerned I was out of healthcare for over two months had to discontinue meds and treatment and was not informed of it until I told him. I was in my car prior and all my clinicians knew about it but were unable to help me with that at the time because in America until you are basically penniless and found on a sidewalk or in a shelter you can’t get immediate help for MH issues.
Tikirob
I did not realise you were in the USA. Sweden seems to be having problems of their own at this time because of the influx of Immigrants.
Have not really have any knowledge of their System although in the past they had a really good reputation. I do not know if the States has any agreements with that part of the world, although I heard that quality was higher than the NHS.
BOB
Hello my friend.i understand what ur going through ,been there done that,got the tshirt.
I also don't understand how in 20 minute session any doctor thinks they can help someone..its absolutely ridiculous. I personally think I get more time at my dogs vet for my dog when he has a problem,verses me at my docs.Hmmm..maybe I'm on to something!?
My best words to u..being here talking to all of us is a good thing,n we all have more than 20 minutes for ya.We may not be doctors,but most of us r in ur shoes or have walked in them.
I myself had a meltdown this weekend..n all I had was everyone here to listen n help me.,and they did.
If u don't get what ya need by u..everyone here has open ears n hearts to help ya..☺
Sending a hug ur way my friend.
Hey what’s up! Thanks I need the time and appreciate all the responses I have gotten. I was pretty desperate when I wrote this and I am still that way but calmer and accepting that I need to make the most of it based on everyone’s advice. Thanks for the hug - I understand how 20 minutes is acceptable, I bet you that’s 300 dollars for that 20 mins at least. Mental health care needs reform - it’s so much more than pills and a short conversation each week.
20 minute is so not acceptable my friend. $300 is sheer robbery in my opinion,but don't get me started,lol
Hey..u r so right on it all,I agree 100 percent.
Read my post from yesterday..im here if ya need to BS or etc...
Hi Tikirob,It saddens me to hear how the mental health system fail people.Ive talked to you before about my son begging with them to admit him to hospital They refused and he killed himself that same day.Please keep pushing for help and support as I hate to hear it’s going on all over the world.At least here in the uk it’s free,but still shit service.Take care I’m sending my love to you.
Thanks, it feels great to receive your care - so good to hear from you and hope you are holding up as best can be. I will push fwd, I stepped in shit today ten minutes into the new year after working up the courage to walk in a dark area to see the harbor at 12am and because of my OCD I just wanted to disappear, I am alone, no friends, no immediate family to celebrate with, and I see nice couples and friends out in their best doing up the town and I felt very sorry for myself and hated myself, and felt like a loser failure, and like everyone can read that on me so they refrain from getting close. And I try to be kind and change it but I can’t. Then while panicking and trying to figure out how to get my boots off and get inside I see a man across the street, passed out in the cold on the sidewalks with emergency medical technician attending to him and I thought I bet you that guy would love to switch places with me. I will carry on. My mother before she died was afraid I would commit suicide. My aunt told me this recently. I am scared to live and scared to die. How do you get through it?
I honestly don’t know how to get through it,I guess I just keep going.My son said your words the dayI lost him...he was scared to live but wanted us to kill him as he was scared to do it...but he did.I feel all the nice sensitive people get hurt easier than most.If there was a way I could help you I would .I for one feel lost and lonely and have no real friends but a lot of mine is paranoia,I’m no good at mixing.Anyway keep in touch and let us all know how you are.xxx
Hi Rob,
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a horrible time. I have asked you before if there were any support groups in nyc, you said no. I read your other post about you having a rant after that awful day you had , and this post about your struggle getting treatment and support; I feel your frustrations and your desperation.
So drawing from my own experience I tried to find a church in NYC that might offer counselling and support,but I couldn't find any. I don't want to sound too dramatic but a few days later the Salvation Army came to mind. So I went online and looked it up. I was watching the news( I'm in the UK)and the Salvation Army came on. The lady said they serve people who are struggling - mental health, homelessness, addiction and hunger. It's a sign! From what I see the NYC branch has a lot more services to offer. Please go to newyork.salvationarmy.org and have a look. I think they can help you get access to treatment and support quicker than you can by yourself within their organisation,their partners or other associated organisations.
Please go with a open mind, don't be afraid . Let me know how you get on!
Thank you for taking the time and care to do this! I got some great news lately I have temporarily gotten therapy back and have reconnected with my therapist it took all sorts of calling, paperwork, etc. yet with help from a friend I have gotten some services back. I will inquire about the Salvation Army though and check the link out. Thanks.
Hope you are doing ok now, take things easy
Thanks I’m doing better, but I still got a ways to go!
Hey Tikirob, I just came on here after a long while off the forum, to see how you are doing. I’m so glad to see on your last post things were looking up for you. I hope they’ve continued to improve? It’s not a linear thing I know, and anyway everyone has good and bad times irrespective of additional mental health challenges, but hopefully you’re still getting the treatment I know you struggled so long to access. And hope you’re not feeling so lonely and down on yourself? The connections you’ve formed here should be a reminder to you that you don’t come across as a loser or a failure to people who encounter you, but as an articulate, empathetic, intelligent and sensitive human being. Anyway hope you’re doing ok.
Hi! I hope you are doing well too thanks for your support. I am still trying to keep up I finally got consistent health care and that is a big weight off my shoulders because I can now continue my treatment for the rest of the year. I am keeping myself busy by trying to write on here and draw when I feel very overwhelmed. I took some weight off in the summer but in NYC its the winter and although it has been mild its not as easy to walk, in the summer its hard too because the sidewalks have so much contamination but I find because its not so cold I can concentrate where I am stepping more. I walk a lot in the streets on the side to avoid walking on the sidewalks, not safe but my OCD mind things it is. I also am starting to get some more help from my ex partner and this has allowed me to keep a little more order in my life. I am trying to believe in myself more and hearing nice feedback is really helpful like the kind you left - thanks!
When you support others but now need support yourself 
Really, I just want to give up the fight now. 
I have got an appointment for a physical health check. 
Existing not living :( 
When the bubble bursts
