Existing not living :(

[Stephelizlouiise]

How do you know if your mental health is bad? I’m 24 and I have no idea who I am or who I want to be. I’m not an alcoholic but I think maybe I’m alcohol dependant. I have never met a guy sober plus (sorry if it’s too much information) I’ve never slept with a guy sober. I’ve always been drunk. What kind of person does that? I am so faulty I don’t even think I can be fixed? I want to be confident and happy but I’m not and I don’t think I ever will be i really am just existing sorry if all that sounds stupid. Just wanted to write it all down and see if anyone is in the same boat as me idk

[kenster1]

hi and welcome to you just wondering if you lack confidence in yourself in general but alcohol isn't the answer it could lead to unplanned pregnancy or worse.a little push in the right direction hopefully you will be ok.i lacked a lot of confidence at your age but being young you still have time on your side.i believe you just need a friendly push and some helpful advice even consider college or volunteer just to feel part of something again.

[Stephelizlouiise in reply to kenster1]

I've actually never thought about volunteering so thank you for that suggestion. I just feel like there isn't any hope for me and I should stop trying to find happiness but your right I'm sure I will find something to keep me going Thank you!!

[kenster1 in reply to Stephelizlouiise]

we always have hope its what keeps us going.you will find your way in life with a little support.being young we can be easily swayed believe in yourself that it can change through determination you will reap the awards and find happiness.

[buddy2002]

What your saying is not stupid , your someone who is struggling and needs help ! it's okay if you don't know who you are still your young 24 years old you still have a life ahead of you and I think you need to really sit down with yourself and ask why ? why do i do these things .. and most importently you need to better yourself FOR YOU .. im 17 and don't really know the depth of things but i hope this helps ... stay strong !!

[Stephelizlouiise in reply to buddy2002]

This really helps a lot thank you! I've never really thought about asking myself 'what I want' I just try and do things that I think will make people happy. Your advice is seriously great and I will take it on board.

[buddy2002 in reply to Stephelizlouiise]

And you know I have put people first instead of myself and never got the same back .. So you need to put yourself first and make yourself happy , no one else matters but YOU . If you do something for someone and they don't do the same back they aren't worth it but im glad i could help

[Alex79]

Always remember that no matter how bad things get things always change, especially if you make a change yourself. Messaging a group like this shows you know you need to change and that's half the battle. Take control back, get help with the drinking (AA helps), distance yourself from the people who have a bad influence on your life and try and meet new ones. Take each day sober as a victory and recognise your own strength. You will surprise yourself. 24, you are young don't pressure yourself to be a person you're not discover who you are and find what makes you happy.

Always here if you need to talk

Regards,

Alex x

[Stephelizlouiise in reply to Alex79]

I'm really trying to make a change and be a better version of myself but god I'm really struggling. I've always wanted to post on this site but I've always been so terrified people will think I sound stupid or that I'm an attention seeker. I don't really have many people in my life but if I distance myself from the people who are bad for me then I have no one and that terrifies that me and I have no clue how to make new friends, especially at 24! Thank you for this! xx

[Bermuda72]

Hi , 24 you are still finding yourself, & that can be just as challenging as going thru puberty I've never been in your situation but it's a way for you to better your life u just have to want it bad enough to do it who do u talk to about how you feel & what road u took getting there something has happen to u alone the way.you need a great support team family a trusted friend & therapy meds if you choose them or the Dr, recommend them for u I'm here if you need someone to talk too I'm no dr, I hope you find that beautiful young lady thats waiting to be let out & living to the fullest best wishes on your journey

[Stephelizlouiise in reply to Bermuda72]

I actually don't have anyone I can talk to to be honest. I'm close with my parents but I could never talk to them about this because the idea of it just makes me feel so embarrassed. I would love to be able to go the doctors but I wouldn't have a clue what to say to them because I'm not 100% sure what is going on with myself. Thank you so much for your advice, it means alot x

[Bermuda72 in reply to Stephelizlouiise]

If you close to your parents those should be the 1st person u open up to then make an appointment to see a Dr you tell how u feel the samething u told us if your parents are open minded they will be there for u, the shame & embarrassment is a crutch for u its what's holding u back start with your parents I don't know which 1 but I'm pretty sure if u open up to 1 of them they can help u with ur next step good vibes , 💕💕

[Lynzhoppy1]

Hey hunni, nothing you’ve said is stupid. It’s what you’re currently thinking and feeling, and that’s valid and ok.

Have you thought about having some kind of therapy? CBT might help and you can do a self referral pretty easily online. I’ve had CBT and found it really useful. I’ve got 10 years on you and I’m still not convinced I know who I really am or what I really want. You’ve had some really good advice on this post already so I won’t bombard you, just know that you’re not alone. You matter, you’re worthy and you can be happy xxx

[Delzek in reply to Lynzhoppy1]

Do we ever know who or what we are? People who know us will say that he she is one thing yet another friend will say the opposite then there is what we think we are! I am alive yes in constant pain! But I am alive I have my Parrots and my kids I include one of my younger brothers as my child as he has a mind of a 5 year old. I Also have my other Brother and my 3 Sisters! So I'm happyish lol

[Delzek]

Hi Stephelizlouiise, I am old compared to you !I don't even remember my 20s apart from I already had children. One of my Daughters has been through the same as you. If the truth is known they probably all went through the same thing! My eldest daughter was and is really close to myself and she was very close to my Mother. She was embarrassed about her behaviour and the situations she was getting into through uni + drink yes she slept with blokes when drunk .she didn't talk to me about it at first she spoke to my Mother ( a lovely gentle woman but a bit of a Hippie) Mum helped her with her problems, them my daughter felt okay to tell me! Of course I was a bit worried and disappointed but I was mostly proud that between her and my Mother she sorted her life out! I think that I was proud that she could talk to my Mother about the things that she was embarrassed about. Even though it must have been more embarrassing for her to speak to her grandmother about what she was doing. Although the drinking calmed down she still went out and had a drink but moderately, and because of that she didn't have the problem of waking up next to one of the uni boys! It took until she was nearly 30 before she "found " herself so to speak she along with my youngest daughter are now Drs one of my daughters unfortunately has never got out of the drinking and Drugs she is now an alcoholic and drug addict! Please if you have no one you can feel you can talk to at home come back to this forum and tell us about anything that is worrying you! At 24 life is just beginning don't waste it! It's okay not to know what or who you are or what you want to be at that age ! Don't try to self analyse yourself it only creates more problems. Talk to us anytime. Someone is almost always here. I hope you don't get offended I genuinely only want to help! All the best Derek

[bubble02]

Yep confused and dont know what is real anymore

[Daz2310]

Hope your ok stay strong u got this