PANICK AND NERVES ARE REALLY KICKING IN NOW.....

[En1234]

I came on here at the beginning of January when I walked out of my job. I was totally devastated and did not know what to do. I came upon this site and just about every day I have posted about looking for new jobs, (as well as trying to help others and have made a few nice friends as well), one day I was up the next day I was so low I just couldn't possibly see how things could get any better and the fact that I was jobless just added so much weight to an already heavy burden...

I eventually got an interview and an offer of a job which, as most of you know, came with the not knowing when my "starting date" was going to be. Last week I was totally elated when I was told that I would officially be starting on 3 April, which is tomorrow. My Contract of Employment and everything was also e-mailed to me very quickly.

Those three months have been quite an experience. I know I am going to miss my walks that I have been having every day, they have become part of my daily routine, coming on here most days too (I probably will have to keep up with everyone either at night or at the weekend now). I took lots of pictures on my mobile when I was out walking and even managed to follow the progress of a family of swans! Just keepsakes to remind me of this lovely/awful experience.

The funny thing is that now I am going back to work tomorrow, I feel, not so much nervous, as scared. I woke this morning with the most horrible panicky feeling, thinking "what if I cant get up tomorrow to get there in time". I have to admit the mornings have been troubling me. I found that every morning I was getting up a wee bit later every day and feeling a wee bit lower every day, going to bed in the early hours. My whole routine is going to have to change and I am scared I am not going to be able to do it. The thought of being in a big building with lots of people I don't know is scaring me so much I just want to go under my duvet and stay there as this has been my safe place for the last 12 weeks!!

I know I should be counting myself lucky (this is what I wanted after all) but why wont this scary feeling just go away!!??

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[Suzie40]

I think I'd feel the same. When I was on the sick I had these exact same feelings. You get accustomed to the way of life when you're at home - setting yourself routines that you become sure you'll miss. I suppose you could see the new job as a new routine, and one that you might perhaps enjoy. You seem quite a sociable person- I'm sure there will be other nice people to meet and get to know. Best of luck for your first day and please let me know how you get on x

[En1234 in reply to Suzie40]

Thanks for your post Suzie. Have been feeling sick for most of the day and feel a bit annoyed with myself because I was feeling sick this time last week because I had still not heard anything back about my starting date?? You of all people must be getting fed up with me, LOL...now I've got what I want and I am STILL moaning!!

Your right about the routine thing though. I dont know if you were the same but I feel because I have been at home a lot (except on the days when I was out walking - I couldn't get out today, the weather was awful...didnt usually keep me in but today was particularly bad), I feel as though I am picking my wee flat apart. There is things needing done but its as though EVERYTHING all of a sudden is a mess!! Were you like that too??

Hope your good Mrs!!

XXXXXXX

[Hidden in reply to En1234]

I agree with Suzie. It's about settling in to a new routine. I have found the hardest part of being retired is the lack of a structure to the day. When you are at work you just do things automatically, whereas when you have more time you tend to over-think things, instead of just doing them. Also, being with other people at work forces you not to dwell so much on your own problems. I hope you have had a good day and, remember, take your time. It takes , I would say, 3 months before anyone is really settled into a new job. Take care,

[En1234 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Sebastian, First day is now over. I have been told that I will receiving 6 weeks training for my position and even then I will have someone with me for 3 weeks before I "go live".

My first day was really good and met really nice people. (A lot of them a lot younger than me. I thought I would be paranoid about this but it didn't really bother me if I'm honest - I was too busy enjoying myself).

But you are dead right about the over-thinking things. I was doing this all the time. When you are looking at the same four walls every day, you just nit-pick at everything.

Now I know I have nothing to fear, I can go in tomorrow and relax...

XX

[Hidden in reply to En1234]

Great news. Really pleased for you. Mixing with other people and social interaction is good for the soul x

[En1234 in reply to Suzie40]

THATS MY FIRST DAY OVER SUZIE......LOVED IT!!! CAN'T WAIT TIL TOMORROW!!

XXXX

[AjMiki]

I think your going to be absolutely fine...you have been though so much and you know a new set of challenges will now arise, your probably as excited as you are feeling anxious going into this new job, just set a new routine , once your alarm rings get up and get sorted, continue your walks, set targets, set limits, set your new adventure and go for it.

All the best.

[En1234 in reply to AjMiki]

Thank you so much. I already have my clothes on hangers, jewellery etc. I think that once I get the first day over I will be OK. I just hope I sleep well tonight. When I worry I don't sleep and I don't want to go in feeling tired. I think it is that old "fear of the unknown" that is bothering me. This time next week I will be sending you a completely different message!!

Thanks again

Appreciate it!!

XXXXX

[En1234 in reply to AjMiki]

Mr first day was really good AjMiki....I will probably sleep better tonight than I did last night now I know I have got nothing to worry about!!

XXXX

[AjMiki in reply to En1234]

Excellent news and well done - yes, try relax more tonight , put those 'what if' moments to one side and focus on the day ahead tomorrow, your half way there already!

Keep smiling

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi En1234 and welcome to this caring forum. I just wanted to wish you all the best for tomorrow. Many people feel nervous when they start a new job, but, as you said, once you get the first day over with, you will be fine. You will be able to continue to enjoy your walks when you have set a new routine. Do let us know how you are getting on. Thank you and best wishes.

[En1234 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you very much. This is a much appreciated comment this morning. I am just waiting to leave and my stomach is like a washing machine....

Still really nervous but also really looking forward to in now that I am up and raring to go!!

XXXX

[clovislorry]

I just wanted to wish you all the very best for your first day at your new job today. It's absolutely normal to feel anxious and scared about a new job - but tonight you'll be able to breathe and say "I did it!". Congratulations again, and try to enjoy yourself. I think I remember you saying you are not the only new starter today - just remember that they will be feeling just as nervous as you do, and hopefully you'll make some new friends today. Have a good day, En1234 - you deserve it after all you've been through in the last few months. xxx

[En1234 in reply to clovislorry]

That is so kind of you and very much appreciated this morning. I am indeed looking forward to it now that I am sitting here all "suited and booted" and ready to go!! (Although I cannot wait for 5.30pm.. :-)).

I will let you know how my first day went later tonight!!

Thank you again for thinking about me!!

XXXX

[En1234 in reply to clovislorry]

Well clovislorry,

Chatted to you this morning and said I would let you know how it went.

It was really good and I now know I had nothing to worry about!! I am looking forward to having a good sleep tonight as I didn't sleep very well last night. The place is nice and the people I met today were all really nice too!!

Roll on tomorrow!!

XXXX

[clovislorry in reply to En1234]

Yooohoooo!!!!! Yesssss!!!! I'm so happy for you! I've been thinking about you today and cheering you on, hoping it would be a good day for you. Now sleep well and enjoy tomorrow even more. xxxx

[kenster1]

glad it went well for you the hardest part is over.lets hope wen you start to make new friends all your worries in life end.congratulations.