I was wondering if you have any ideas of Ways to Motivate yourself that worked for you? of a day time I just seem to have no motivation or energy, and often wont even open the curtains etc. I don't quite know why, but it's like I just don't want it to be day.
I'm guessing it's a common experience for anyone with depression, but in the day time I just never seem to have any energy, and complete lack of motivation, the house is a complete mess and I hate having to come back to it like it, or climb over things etc and get anxious as I'm too embarrassed by it to ever let anyone in. I know how much better psychologically it feels to have a clean place.
I hate being like this, and want to have the energy most folk seem to have, and feel inspired to get up, and do things, look forward to the day, find things to do etc, I know there is so much more I could do in the day.
but every night I tell myself. I do this or that tomorrow etc and try and face one task, or at least achieve something, but then when the day comes. I often wake up with anxiety or a feeling of dread.. then I can just can never seem to find the energy or the motivation to do the things I planned. It's like whatever I need, just isn't there..
I feel like I don't have a connection to the day time, and feel like there is always this constant background ambience of something distressing/ bad is going to happen etc
Whatever that energy is that most people seem to have in the day.. it;s like there is a huge kink in the supply
Some days I don't open the curtains because I just don't want the day to be there even though it may be a beautiful summer day outside and I just want to sleep until night comes.
Not just the house, but other things that need doing.. I know by putting them off is just making things worse, yet still can't do it.
I always feel much better at night and much prefer the night, and seem to have much more energy at night, but when there is so much that needs to be done, not doing them, or procrastinating etc, just adds to the anxiety and kind of self fulfilling effect
yet, even then I struggle to find the motivation, it's like I just can't find my connection with the day and the day just represents hassles, phones, random callers, busy world, problems etc.. feel exhausted before I've even started to do anything.
I just feel like I never have any energy at all in the day, even when Ive slept ok the night before.
I looked online at all different ways to motivate yourself, but none of them so far have really worked for me, or resonated with me
soo..
I wondered if anyone else who experiences this, has any thing that worked for them? but especially if you just don't seem to have the physical energy either.
Thanks
M
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MerlinMartin
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I found planning ahead did not work. It just led me to anxiety in the run up to my plans. I also found saying I will go to the gym this week worked. Take each day as it comes. Don't beat yourself up if you can't do anything for while. Relax and listen to your body
Thanks, and yeah I found setting goals etc, often just created another opportunity to get anxious because I could never meet them etc :s, and well I've never been a sporty type, so the whole Gym thing. is soo far from my reality in a way...though I admire the motivation that regular Gym users have.. and the results.. and would love that kind of motivation..
I like what you said about listening to your body.. that resonates.. and makes sense, I did wonder if there may be some reason it needs to go through this sort of phase etc.
I am the same at night I feel I will do that in the morning then that does not happen, I do keep the house tidy but it is going shopping I find I cannot do to go out is out of the question so well done you for going out. Take Care. Xx
What about going out of the house is difficult for you? Is it encountering people, the tasks you have to complete, the lack of desire... I'm just curious.
For me it’s talking to people and pretending I have the energy to actually intertane a conversation... I get anxiety while talking to people ... talked to doctor I don’t have depression well that’s what she’s says.
I just 'go on to autopilot'. Try not to really think about what is happening and how I feel but just do - had to do that yesterday when I really didn't want to get out of bed and it was really bad.
hmm.. I've kind of tried that, I mean I had the realisation that by thinking something is a chore, or gonna be hard work.. then it will be..ie, house work.. and tried to focus on the result, but it's like the motivation just wouldnt support the realisation, it's interesting what you said though, because I never thought about it like that..
~I mean rather than try to think my motivation to be there, just put my mind elsewhere sort of thing.. in a sense.. imagine I'm a robot kind of, and like you said, just do it.. before my mind has chance to realise what's going on lol.. hmm
you know, I think I might just try that!.... made me realise something...thank You
Have you ever had any CBT therapy? I have some tools I learned that I use. Not that I can use them all the time. My flat is a real tip at the moment but I try to do something small every day and not beat myself up. Hopefully if I can do one thing, it will lead to another. Like you though, I just wanted to go back to bed today so I did for an hour. Now rushing to get ready for work!!
I've never had CBT, I read a bit about it, and seems as though it's something that works for some, and if it works, works well... Im still researching all available options, and therapies etc.. and well, can't really rule any out I suppose until I try them.
and yeah, I learnt to just kind of accept it more now I think, and not give myself such a hard time for not doing stuff, though obvsiously it's kind of a loop, because things still need to be done..
it's good to remember though too like you said, one thing at a time.. so much pressure etc to be. do whatever etc... and judgement from others cuz they can't understand just how challenging that "one thing" can be... but your right.. with each thing comes a sense of achievement, and it does make you feel better having done it!.. which does kind of inspire me to do more, to a point.. but often it can slip back again too and find myself lackng motivation again.. It's how to maintain that, or not fall back into it, or maybe just "allow it" knowing that at least you got something done... and you will get something else done too at some point!.. even if a lot of folk around you just don't understand that
.. thanks for the reply, and well, I'm gonna revisit info on CBT..
Hi this is exactly how I feel everyday, your story is mine. At night I tell myself, tomorrow will be different, I will do this , do that, But once I get up or dont get up the whole cycle starts again. Motvation or lack of is horrific.
Could you make a tiny list and try and do one thing on it. Put a timer on for 15 mins and start maybe to tidy up, tt gets you going and racing along to get so much more done before timer starts. They say do not wait for Motivaion, Just do it.
I too feel so bad with this, I don/t do the things I use to love, but we are still probaly depressed. Sorry I cannot give more help.
I guess we all know it's good to know were not the only ones who experience it, and not freaks etc, and that were not alone... and yeah, I think horrific would be a good way to describe the absolute lack of motivation a lot of the time...indeed.
I have tried making lists, found I still tended to put things off and procrastinate.. that's usually when I try and find some excuse for myself but then realise, there isnt any.. and I'm just doing it again, putting them off again etc... sometimes I convince myself the next night or at times even somehow manage to get excited and a sense of relief from just making a list.. it's finding the will to carry them out..
I never tried using a timer though., hmm... in a way that adds a different type of challenge to it, and that in itself changes it. which could be a good thing, I mean in a way almost could add an element of excitement to what would otherwise be insanely dull and frustrating...which having not tried, I sure will.!
Hi this is exactly how I feel everyday, your story is mine. At night I tell myself, tomorrow will be different, I will do this , do that, But once I get up or dont get up the whole cycle starts again. Motvation or lack of is horrific.
Could you make a tiny list and try and do one thing on it. Put a timer on for 15 mins and start maybe to tidy up, tt gets you going and racing along to get so much more done before timer starts. They say do not wait for Motivaion, Just do it.
I too feel so bad with this, I don/t do the things I use to love, but we are still probaly depressed. Sorry I cannot give more help.
Thanks everyone for the replies, and the tips.. and well, there is stuff I havn't tried, so Im gonna try it
It's soo difficult to try and get people who don't experience it to understand... but well, like I said.. hearing and knowing others have the same experiences, makes a huge difference indeed!
I still haven't figured out why, what the weird lack of connection to the day is, and why Im just naturally more energized at night.. I can think of some obvious ones etc.. but Ive been trying to write down all my thoughts, feelings etc.. and get to the bottom of it.
I remember summers as a kind and they were full of adventure and fun, exciting!... so it's so strange to be able to remember that, and yet feel so unmotivated in the day, and by the sun.. even wanting to shut the sun out at times.. at the same time, wishing things could be like they were back then..
not sure if from your username you enjoy photography? but I used to be passionate about photography, but when the lack of motivation and day thing comes.. it just takes a huge back seat..as does pretty much everything.
I'm sure there is a key to this somewhere.. but just have to find out what it is...
Thank you everyone.. you know first time really I've ever joined a group, forum etc about it or really talked about it like this sort of thing online, but even from this and just sharing with others.. it has very theraputic effect, and helps to find clarity as well... which feels goood!
hi merlin I feel the same as you am very depressed in the morning and seem to get better at night when I start to do things. lack of motivation is a symptom of depression. sorry I am not much help but am suffering with severe depression at the moment.
thanks for replying and well, actually you already helped by replying you know, I've been looking into this more since.. as I decided I want to understand and get as much clarity as possible...
It makes sense why we tend to prefer the night, because, well, less distractions, less phones, random callers, unwanted mail, the machine that drives the things usually cause us anxiety is switched off etc, a lot of people are sleeping.. so there is just something clearer and calmer about the atmosphere of the night....I find I am much more creative in the night... or at least feel like I want to be, and that in itself is a step forward compared to now wanting to do anything at all but sleep so not have to face reality..
I still struggle with motivation of a day, and lack of energy. but for now I just decided to do one small task at a time, and simply allow it, whenever I can.. if one day, I totally can't face the day.. and I just want to sleep (and if I can) I will allow it..and I will sleep!...not give myself a hard time..
then I came across something that said, often if you have a lot of issues, or struggles etc.. it's good to sleep, because things can actually be resolved within us while we are sleeping, and kind of on other levels too..
so sleeping a lot can actually be part of the healing, transformation process if we allow it.. so were not just wasting time, the day etc.. we are like butterflies in a coccoon sort of thing and going through a kind of transformation process.. even though it seems like one thing, it's actually rejuvenation happening on other levels.. and other things being worked out..
takes as long as it takes.. but our bodies know what they're doing, and well strange thing is the more I thought about this, and the more I allowed and considered this as a potential reality... I actually found myself needing less sleep, and kind of got up a few days now and actually got quite a bit done on the house... and it feels soooooo much better!... it just sort of happened!..
soo.. maybe something to consider for others too when they find themselves in that phase.. I may write a blog about it!.
so thank You Red, because you just reminded me and gave me the opportunity to share this...
I can't even tell you how little motivation I have.. i can find my self sleeping for wayyyyy wayyyy longer than im supposed to. It's really an awful way to feel and im sorry to hear that, but you deff aren't alone. I notice that one thing that tends to help me is to force urself up and listen to a song that really means something to you, and or pumps you up, something you know the words too and you can sing along with ahaha, something to get you going. Idk where i would be without music, but GL to you... finding energy seems to be the never ending battle.
I am exactly the same I really hate it I want to do so much but have no energy sleep most days awake most nights take sleeping tablets but still don't want to get out off bed I get up to go to work and have no motivation to do anythink else when I do push my self I feel exuasted I get in a panick when I am invited out to functions and even taking the granchildren out I carnt be bothered to cook so eat rubbish I hate my body I just feel I want to be on my own all the time no one bothers me if I am in bed they think I am asleep I just need to get out off this rut
Greetings Merlin. I feel exactly like you and it sucks! No energy and no motivation to do anything... Years of stress and anxiety has probably knocked out the receptors for a chemical in the brain called dopamine. Dopamine flows whenever we're motivated, excited, vital, vibrant, curious about something, seeking food and sexual encounters… Without dopamine there is no motivation. So our choices are simple. We either take anti-depressant medications (that have a lot of horrendous short and long term side effects) and hope they work (even if by placebo)--or--accept your fragile mental condition and take delight and pleasure in all day and all night SLEEP. Your body requires it.
I know this was posted a while ago but I just saw this post as I was searching Google as to get some answers to the reason why I have absolutely no energy and just can't get myself to do anything lately. It is affecting my entire life. My husband works all day and comes home to a house that is a disaster. I don't even have the energy or motivation to take my kids out anymore. It's just been getting worse and worse. I thought it may have been from the never ending winter we just had here in NY but we did have a couple days in the 50s and I didn't care. I went out one of those days and felt the warm sun on my face and that did help a bit.. That day. But the other days I didn't even bother leaving my house. I have 3 kids two are in school all day and I have my 3 year old daughter home with me. And although I do spend time with her and play with her It's not like it used to be. I have been thinking maybe a vitamin deficiency? Has anyone explored that? In the summer my favorite things to do are hiking, walking, the beach and my absolute favorite gardening. Gardening is like a therapy for me. I just planted my seeds inside yesterday. It took me an hour to get two rows of sunflowers done. It did however make me perk up a bit. But that didn't last long. I know for a fact that I have been severely depressed lately, I get stressed out by the littlest problem, and I suffer from anxiety as well. But I have suffered from these conditions pretty much my entire life. They have never effected me this bad. I can't even decorate for easter or spring. In fact most of my Christmas decorations are still up. Not counting the outside ones because they were encased in ice and snow for almost 3 months straight so I'm not alone there. But by this time I usually have my house decorated for easter and spring themed. But I just can't do it. Just cleaning and cooking dinner every night is near impossible. I read some of the other comments and I am going to try them as well. So just know that you are not alone. I too am more awake at night then I am during the day. I don't know why that is. What you are going through is almost exactly what I am going through. I hope we both find answers and soon. For me I hope the warm weather comes soon so I can get outside and enjoy it. Or at least try to. I know I have always felt a little better in the summer months and the beach is my safe haven. Music also helps me. In fact I can't clean without it. I just wish that I didn't feel this way and I had my energy and motivation back!! I am going to talk to a Dr about it soon. Because I can not continue to live this way. Good luck to you and everyone else who is going though this. I am glad that I'm not alone because it sure feels like I am.
Hello Lori. I feel we have a lot in common regarding this condition. It is a horrible way of living. I do want to do a lot of things, have plans and dreams, but have no motivation or energy. My house is a mess most of the time, I don't manage my time, I loose, forget things, and procrastination is my last name. Nothing ever gets done. I have two girls that I adore. I'm sure somehow they are affected by all this. My husband is a great man; hard working, loving, supportive, and very understanding. My fear is that one day he is going to get tired of this situation and things change. That alone should be Motivation right there. I just don't feel it, and don't have the energy. My plan is to get a check up, get my blood tested to rule out any illness, and also maybe get tested for any mental disorder, then if everything is ok, I would try again things that I've tried before to no avail, like diet, exercise, meditation, lists etc. Lori, you aren't an isolated case. I'm sure there are so many woman feeling like this. I see your post is from 6 months ago. I really hope you found some help, and are feeling better now. Believe it or not, I created my user name before I read your post. I live in Long Island. Good luck and would like to hear that you are doing better!!!
Hey Loriny82, I dont know if you'll ever see my post since you posted a reply to Merlin a year ago. I just wanted to write you because your story is my story EXACTLY......except for one detail! I live in Daytona Beach, FL where it barely gets below 50 degrees so I dont even have winter as my excuse!! However, I HATE the hot humid days we have during summer and sweat through my clothes just getting in my car.....so that makes me never want to go outside with my kids. But this has been going on for a long time. I dont have insurance for mental illness so Id have to pay out of pocket and cant afford that. So Im at a loss of what I can do to get myself better. I know exercise will help but cant even get out of the house. My 1 year old has become LITERALLY attached to me since Im home with him all day.....every day. So when I do have motivation (or know my husband will be home soon, I cant do anything without him crying until he throws up). My husband works 12 hours 5 days a week with an hour commute so he is never home. I also jave 3 kids but I dont take them out like they deserve and we live 2 blocks from the beach.
Ive tried the 15 minute timer thing, Ive tried making lists.....I have TONS of them. No motivation and No energy!! Im sure I dont eat right since I hate cooking except for dinner. I have no motivation to change anything. Wow- Ive never said that outloud or to anyone bc I feel like no one has any clue what Im feeling or going through.
The saddest thing of all is that when I get a break from my kids for an hour or 2 (maybe once every 2 months)...I just want to sleep. So I get LESS done without them here!! I dont know where to start. I was hoping since it has been soo long for you that maybe you found something that worked for you!?? I dont sleep all day but dont do anything else either. Thank you everyone for understanding. I would never dare post this to social media bc I know I would be called a horrible parent and many other horrible things since everyone seems to be perfect on there!!
Hope you are doing better, but even if you arent- Ive been right there next to you this entire time!!
Have you had your thyroid checked. If it is out of whack it causes alot of these symptoms. And get your vitamin levels checked. That can also cause lack of energy. Good luck, I feel all these things also. I have a thyroid problem, and was also vitamin deficient. Its horrible all the side effects. Tiredness, lack of motivstion etc. Good luck
Yes, Tkg1971, same here, thyroid issue. Fixed a bunch of issues similar to original poster's. Not all and a few linger and pop up every so often but def helped get me back outside and enjoying life again! Good luck everyone and God bless y'all
Hi everyone, um I dont really know what to say but I really felt that I needed to say this. Im 14 in school and my life has not been..perfect, recently I've been not motivated to get up in the mornings , at first I ignored it but the stress of school caught up and I ended up having a bit of a break down infront of my mom who has a illness (not helping her). Now I dont argue with what im feeling in the morning and I've ended up not beening at school at all for a while now. Ive been going to therapy but their not really helping and everyday I just wish that it could be night all the time.
Because at night its so quiet and peaceful, my mind drifts and I can make up my own story's. But during the day, people voices are annoying me more even though I love those people.
I hate being this way and for seeming...well weak? If thats the right word.
Some mornings I wish I could end the feeling of having to wake up. But the reason now that I wake up is because so I can fall back asleep.
I know this sounds a bit personal and im sorry. but I read this post and felt happy that some other people have been through something similar.
Thank you aswell if you read this or comment or whatever. And even though this post has been from a while a go thank you Merlinmartin x
I see you posted this a while back but I had to reply & hope you see it. I immediately thought that you are young & vulnerable and your Mom also being sick is very stressful for a young person to deal with. Take everything slow, be kind to yourself, it's not your fault you feel like this - you sound like you have had a lot to deal with. If you do anything, try to read and explore what you might like to do in the future - maybe travelling, seeing the world or even a job like caring for animals. If you can find something to look forward to, or something that inspires you, that could be the key to taking baby steps towards getting up & about. But be easy on yourself. You are precious & deserve to be happy, and many more people than you realise also feel like this inside.
I'm literally in tears! Your post put into words EXACTLY what I've been going through for years! I've never been able to put into words how I feel. But, you did it in this post! I've been struggling with major depression my entire life. I'm currently on 2 antidepressants, and my life is still as you described. My question is, is there a name for this disorder? Thanks!
I feel very similar, oddly you took the words from me. I too have been searching for help. Please enlighten me if you have any idea. I have tried antidepressants and haven't found them helpful
I feel exactly the same no motivation and no energy also I have a 4 years old son...very difficult...I tried meditation recently and it really works and a plan and change something in my look and clean my flat do one little thing every day...I saw this post is from 3 years ago....
This is me too. I've been unemployed for over 2 months now and though I've been applying I haven't done anywhere near as much as I could have because I have 0 motivation. I feel exhausted and sleep as much time as I can because I don't see the point of being awake. It takes all my energy to do one thing, for example I spent all of today psyching myself to so some job applications and I couldn't even do that in the end. I hate feeling like this but I don't know how to stop, I want this year to be the year I get my shit together and improve but I need motivation to do it, I can't stay like this for much longer. Idk what to do I know this post is from 3 years ago and I hope things have gotten better for you since then. A lot can change in that time, I hope it does for all of us too. Things suck right now.
Even reading this or writing is a effort. I used to be miss sunshine. I cannot think anymore. I cannot do anything. And when my lovely husband comes home I don't have any energy to give. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to see anyone. And the mountain keeps growing and the disappointment from everyone too.
Late night, are you still active here? I was wondering how you're doing? This is my first time on here - although I HATE my lack of motivation it is comforting to know we are NOT alone.
I may have a solution for some of you. I've been trough this a lot and i've found out a way to escape this. I sometimes start feeling like this again but, just to know there's a way out helps a lot. Here it goes
When I was a child, I had this dream of becoming like a certain person, do you remember that feeling? Whoa this guy is so cool I want to be like him! When I grow up, I want to do this and so on. Then as I grew up I worked towards this. Just little things that made me feel like superman. When I got my first leather jacket, oh boy, I walked proudly around my town so people could see it. I felt proud, strong and I was motivated.
Then as I grew up, life caught me up and I became too "busy" to think about those sort of things. A bit later I felt like nothing was worth doing and everything was too hard, didn't want to get up too. Just like you described.
One day, I heard a certain song that made me feel a little spark of that energy I had as a kid. Then I just started looking in my old stuff I kept. I found out guess what?... My leather jacket. I could'nt stop smiling. Then I realised I was just not what I wanted to be. I was not happy of who I was as a person. In short, I had lost my goal growing up. And who wants to go foward when you have no interesting thing to archieve??? I was then motivated. I wanted to work on myself to become a person I liked. I wanted to use what life teached me, and try to become someone the kid-me would admire. I started getting up and listening to music that made me feel great and actually accomplish things.
So, your problem may be that you have no goal, no dream to make you happy. Im not talking about dreams that requires money that you have to wait, maybe something you can start working on right now. You can try to embody a character that makes you feel great, then start making things work out for you. Good Luck!
Yes this is correct,no goal,no dream to make you happy,this is the way I feel.I try to have these but the family are not interested & my family is all I have.Maybe my problem is my family.
This was posted a while back, I see. But I wanted to respond, because I can relate. Something about the night seems more full of possibility to me than the day. I don't mind really early morning because it also feels like it has possibility but once it's 2 o'clock or so...I'm usually not so into the day anymore. Haha. The WORST part of the day for me is from around 2 pm to 5 pm. Something about it feels so blah to me.
Also, making lists of all the stuff to be done can be too overwhelming, especially when your body as well as your mind just wants to lay down and sleeeeeeep. Then I get depressed that I haven't done anything on the list, and to avoid the depressive feeling decide I'll sleep some more. How defeating is that?
Anyway, what I find helpful for me is to pick just one goal, for one day, and do it directly after eating breakfast. Otherwise If I wait it won't get done. And tell myself, just do this one thing, (exercise 30 minutes, clean one room, whatever...) and then you can go back to sleeping the day away if you want, like some kind of twisted reward. Haha. And then once I've done the one thing sometimes I want to do something else.
I know exactly what you mean. What has helped was trying to fool myself. Like if my body wasn't feeling it I would instead try to fool myself by putting music on and trying to change the energy of my body and my mind. Its like acting. You change your energy to play the part. Think of it that way.
I'm so glad I found this forum. I've felt exactly like all of you, almost word for word, for many years. I quit my job two years ago to try to pursue a personal career in fine arts but just didn't have the energy to see it through. Each day is worse than the day before. I've been on Wellbutrin for over six months and cannot feel it's making any difference. My husband works all day and I am glad when he's gone so I can "be myself", ie, nothing. I do manage to make the bed most days and change out of my pjs and I feel like I've made a major accomplishment. I also fear my husband is getting tired of living with such a unhappy person but I feel sorry for him that he has to live with me. If the table were turned, I don't know that I would be able to stay with him and have told him so. I realize exercise releases certain endorphins that make you feel better but I have no motivation to do anything except for sleep. It's gotten to the point in the last few months, when I have to go out to pick up a few groceries, by the time I get back home I feel like I am shaking inside and out. I have started isolating myself, won't even walk out to the mailbox if any of my neighbors are outside. Now when my husband gets home from work, I'm isolating myself from him to by going to the garage and sitting on the computer or upstairs to our bedroom to watch tv alone. I just want to feel normal. I want to laugh, a real laugh. Is that asking to much?
I am EXACTLY the same as you, didn't even get changed from yesterday's clothes? So fed up with being like this, and my mum just says, "snap out of it!" Feel soooooooo guilty about my son, as well? Sigh.....!
Hi,my life is the exact replica of yours & I feel for you as it is sooooo hard.I too do the whole avoidance & feel bad as I have not spoken to my dear old neighbour since last year & she is so lonely.I am happy when I am left alone but feel very upset that I am so incapable of anything. I dread when everyone comes home & asks what's for dinner as I can't even cook most of the time.I just can't think of anything to make.I stare at my phone when it rings & only answer if it is my husband or daughter.I just feel so alone as no-one can understand the crippling of this affliction.I too want to feel happy & laugh & feel normal.How did it all disappear???
I relate so much to this post! I am Gilbert, age 18. I have dysthimia which also includes depression. I have the same issues. Getting in a routine is difficult, you can really only do what you can there. Even if you can't finish every thing on your list, that's what I do. I usually try to finish at least half of the list or so. With memory issues I do what I need to right away before I forget and jot random day to day to-do's on calender. Uh, I think since I saw a few ideas on this forum I haven't tried as much- more excersize and gaining huge motivation/goal from a person or thing by yourself. I'm gonna try that and whatever else people have been saying here....... Basically this is the story of my life, I am drained all the time. I get random burts of energy, mainly at night. Which I use to my advantage. I have huge goals and I'm not sure how many I'll be able to achieve. I want to be an amazing costumer like my friends. I can never keep up with them. I am hardworking , yet tired and draw sometimes. I think staying away from the computer keeps me awake and eating right also. I have a computer addiction.
I started a course of acupuncture recently for pains in my back. In the first session the acupuncturist run through all my health problems and I found the courage to tell her about my really low moods. I have suffered depression in the past and could tell that I was starting to slip back into it. I'm not sure if it's the acupuncture or the herbal teas she has given me to take but I'm feeling so much better. I have loads more energy and positivity. I'm a lot nicer to those around me and want to be with people again.
I face this more when I am alone and there is no body to care for me. So the solution this problem is .. I made one extremely good guy friend. I used to hangout and visit new places. Chill with him. Thiskeeps me motivated throughout the day. Our body needs 21 days time period to change it or to develop new habits. So, i gave myself time , 2 months, I used to discuss my problems woth him, tell him every single thing. This way, my life got a small purpose, direction and a motivation to get up. And start my day. The key is to be with the person who is not like you. Who is very cheerful. Learn from what he does, try to encorporate his positiveness into you. This ll definitely gonna help you.
Secondly, when I used to sleep in a room with curtains, I usually put my alarm on snooze, I never wakeup on time. And when I actualy wakeup I had a bad feel of guilt inside me, that i putoff all the important tasks and just slept all day. The solution to this is, I removed my curtains permanently. As It wasnt possible for long term for privacy purpose, so i tried shifting to room with balkoni terrace with no curtains . In the morning 5 am I dont need any alarm to wake me up now. I feel fresh better. When lights falls on ur body, your body stops releasing chemicals which stimulate sleep cycle. So your aleep cycle breaks and it helps you to wakeup
Try these. And i want to talk to you personally also about theae issues.
Its like you wrote exactly how I feel! I force myself to clean by writing a list the night before. Thinking about it as i sleep. Then I do it in 5 minute increments. 5 minutes dumping all trash. Then sit down for a couple hours. Then FORCE yourself to unloatd diswasher for 5 minutes. Then laze around again. sometimes if you START you dont wanna stop.... not always. YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF!
I know this is a rather old thread but everyone here has described my life exactly!!! I have two young children who I want to enjoy but I am letting this time slip through my ffingers by putting on the tv or letting them play video games because I just cant get moving. I have suffered from depression my entire life but the lack of motivation and the absolute and complete exhaustion is getting so much worse the older I get. I am seraching for a way to solve this problem and I dont know what to do. Anti-depressants is the last resort, but if it would help at this point I think I should consider it. CBT is a thought; perhaps I will look into what it entails. I dont think I can go see a counselor (even that requires getting up and moving and I am not there yet). I too have a messy home and an unhappy, hardworking husband who doesnt understand why I just cant get more done in a day!! I just cant, I want to but I just cant. Although I am happy to see that I am not alone, I am so sorry that all of you are going through the same thing.
Hello,someone is still out there!!!I just discovered this site & kind of feel normal.Well not in the real sense but now I know I am not the only one like this.
I too have been feeling like this for at least the past two years...I think I know the cause...thyroid, and or food intolerances...I not long discovered I had PARASITES. Which probably explained the low energy.
I just saw this post and all its replies. Thought I would reply because I often find things on the web and think they are too old and everybody is gone, but I saw your post.
I have been diagnosed with ADD in my 40s. It's not the kind where you are hyper. I would almost welcome that. It coexists with mild depression. I see myself in the moms and wives out there not getting anything done. I used to beat myself up all the time not understanding why I just couldn't get motivated and had such low energy. I need to be totally in fight or flight mode to get anything done. Like having the landlord come over or someone coming to visit. It mostly affects my personal life. Now I seem to have found myself in a job which is so high stress that everything is Now Now Now! I'm a supervisor. It's so hard to get up to go there in the morning but once there I'm on fire. But it depletes me so much even though I appear to be successful. I live alone now in an apartment that's very messy all the time and when I get home I'm just too exhausted to do much of anything. My dad and mom passed away 2 and 3 years ago and I have a whole lot of their stuff cluttering up my place. I grieved for a long time but I've gotten over the crying and have let go. I want it to be cleared up so much but I just can't seem to do it. Even visualizing what I want in the end and how nice it would feel doesn't motivate me. Also I never seem to get motivated for even the things I want to do. I can't get excited about much at all. I have a lot of stuff in my mind that I want to do and lots of ideas but never start anything. I feel like I'm wasting my life. I've been on Wellbutrin for over a year. I don't think it's doing much for me but I can't get anything else to work and the withdrawals are awful. Other anti-depressants put me in a coma almost, and ADD drugs just make me feel like I'm stoned or make me really cranky. Just wanting to say that it helps to know that others feel somewhat like I do. I always think it's food sensitivities or something that I'm eating or not eating and maybe it is but I haven't figured out what it is other than dairy. People try to help but they just can't understand. If you read this all the way through or see yourself in it, thanks.
I'm 53 and up and down. Last week I was surrounded by people at a mutually enjoyable night of dancing and socialising on the other side of the country. This week I don't see virtually anybody. I live alone and all my friends and family live all over the country, I work shifts, now as agency and am unmotivated to do any. I left my job after 6 1/2 years thru bullying and imcompetance from others. I have so many projects I want to do , but am looking for work so don't do them then don't accept the shift so feel guilty. Today again I thought I don't see any future, I just seem to have a few little things to look forward to, like I am wishing my life away, at the same time what is the point of it all.
I had friends, but they all now have families and have no time for me as they have made other friends with children. It makes it worse when the weather is great and the city is busy and I have no one to go out with. I tend to attract weirdos too, so have to be careful. Weirdos and controlling females, who I have to extracate myself from, not 'normal' people. I love quirky, but can't do needy or controlling.
I'm quite like that have no life energy what so ever, no motivation no determination...all i could do is sleeping....is not a life ...but dont know how to change it
Then praise that action to that wonderful person in your mirror
Then feel the motivation.
Act on it.
Repeat
My counsellor says - and I have proved this to be true - that it's not that we need motivation to be able to take action. We need to take action to feel motivated. Try this all of you on this thread. It really works.
I found this page while searching for an answer to why I feel so utterly hopeless and want to be asleep all the time. I've kinda worked out that it's wanting oblivion. Being asleep, drunk blacked out, or dead all bring oblivion. Sleep is the least destructive of these states.
I read most of the replays I am 70 years it use to be young know it is old.I have depression also PTSD two trips to Vietnam and I have no energy or motaviation. I have a wife that is so supportive,she really is great. I need some help with how to get this back
Hi, I googled this topic and this is what came up. So i joined this support group to comment. I am the same way. Cant get going in the day. Then i get depressed over that. Im about to read the comments but Im hoping you got it resolved? Or stuck in the same habit? I see this was posted 4 years ago.
Merlin (and others) is it possible that a 4 year old post (and poster) are still active and responding?? Merlin, I've never seen how I've felt in writing....so simple, so to the the point, although I am creative, I create nothing while laying in bed WIDE awake at night. How do you do that? Do you forgo the entire bed situation?? Do s this mean my insomnia and despise foR the day will result in a secret liv affair with the night?? I'm serious!!
Have you actually read these posts? Do people sound like they are enjoying themselves? Have a little compassion and read up on mental illness before you start judging people!
Hi, I think you should just mix in what you need to do with something you want to do.For me when I have to get up but really don't want to it helps me by listening to my favourite songs that get me hype.Then I'll tell myself okay if I get up and do this after I can treat myself to some food or do something fun later.What will be even more fun is if you set a competition with somebody who has to do the same task so you won't be doing it just because you have to, you actually want to!
Ur not alone, 53 yrs f looking for answers too. Same story. Its called lost hope i think after trying over and over and nothing goes to plan, blockers stoppers roadblocks sabotagers stealers zappers etc PTSD and then we're just done, light goes out. No desire cant be bothered whats the point? Bust your gut just to have rug pulled out from under you. Something like that. Tanks empty.
That exactly how I am and just cart seem to do anything I have put in weight want to walk but carnt it's like a mental block I sleep the days away and am awake at night cannot sleep so take sleeping pills have no energy and am so unfit really need some help but carnt even get myself to doctors buy sleeping tablets want to do more for my children my grandchildren but feel exuasted all the time don't even really like going out feel so bad and ashamed
same here I am 58 years old, retired because of my back injury , that trigger anxiety , panics attacks and the worst depression ever...had a terrible panic attack at work that led me to quit my job, get more panics attack and DEPRESSION !!! all due to my back injury... well at this point 4 years after that episode and a back surgery... I fell worst than ever.. lots of medication for everything under the sun...no energy... I dont care about anything, cant get myself to do stuff that I used to like , like keeping my house spotless... making great meals for my family...even taking a shower makes me tired...and for me is so hard to understand this...people around me does not undestand this... for them I am lazy and should get out of my confort zone ...no I dont want to do it ... so what can I do??? got no Idea what to do or where to go... and I am tired of people telling me what I am suppose to do..even tired of crying...fell lonely and sick ...
Hi I am 60 yrs old and know exactly how you feel, except I don't have the anxiety issue. I had my 2nd back surgery in 2003. had to go on disability,frustrated with not being able to do things that I think I should be able to do. Everything you say hits home, even the shower thing. there is no magic pill, but if anyone knows what to do let us all know. But don't say '' JUST DO IT ''.
Hi. I know I'm SERIOUSLY late to the party, as you made the original post four years ago. Nevertheless, it fit me to a T when I googled something tonight, and I just wanted to say, "thanks" to you, and, well, pretty much everyone, for posting here on this forum. I don't feel so much like a total whack job, or so completely alone now.
I advise you to never to cross my path Breddtty or whatever the hell your name is, as if it matters. I feel the way these people do and have for 15 years. I do however work two jobs sometimes and get my mother fucking ass out of bed and have at the same jobs for over 12 years. The point is when I am home, all I ever do is want to sleep, it's not normal, that is why we are here. Moral of the story save your judgement for someone who deserves it and get a freakin life.
Well it's taking me nearly an hour to read through these post and I can say I totally relate.
My marriage ended due to this but was in denial at the time and now have gotten worse. making excuses not to see anyone and slowly things are not getting done around the house. The "ill do it later" spring up a lot. On tablets for it but feel I need to do something else.
Thanks for all you on here for telling your story as I felt like I was the only one.
This post has been going for 4 years, most recent response 2 months ago. I am the same as so many of you and have yet to find an answer. I'm 55, menopausal, with 3 herniated discs in my back. Very interested in the posts where back surgery or pain was involved. Sometimes I think my problem is due to the pain medication I have to take daily just to get out of bed or walk. I never use to be like this. Just wondering if anyone has found solutions or is eveeyone still stuck? Thank you.
Crawl out of bed, take my prozak, plop in the recliner, put on the headphones, spend rest of day listening to audio books. No motivation to even feed myself. My amazing hubby brings me food. My friends beg me to do things, but just grumble at them and go back to the books. This is not living!
I have felt like this for years. Have had every test the dr could think of and they came up with chronic fatigue syndrome. There is no cure so not sure what else to try. I home school my son and barely manage to find the motivation to do that. I no I should do more and keep promising myself I will but when the next day starts it's just the same.
Here 5 years later, finding that the last post was 14 days ago...
Yeah, but really, I have read all the stories for an hour now, and I think I finally have found my tribe, you guys!
I am 21 & married. I have a wonderful, loving, hard working husband and a life I could only dream of when I was a kid. Had a tough childhood, have had bipolar disorder with included high levels of hyper changed by apathy and depression like a vicious cycle.
I have a goal for my life, I could say I have a calling, but I find myself just falling apart with no energy most of the time, and when I do it’s nighttime usually...
I study art right now, but last weeks I have no motivation to get out bed, ‘cause week before that was so intense and emotionaly loaded, I feel like my body is almost rebooting.
This happens all the time I am way too emotional and overthinking and feeling things too deeply as a result I often have no energy left afterwards. I feel bad about this, you guys - I also am afraid that my husband will get tired if this, eventually..
I have been on wrong diagnosis and wrong meds before that only deepened my depression and drained the energy out. So I just don’t feel ready to try any again, at least not right now. Because I still feel better right now than with the meds, sadly. I would be glad if I could just take a pill and everything would just be all right...
Some days are better and sometimes music, food, 15 min timer thing works. Some days, well I just got to stay a float and try not to drain in the sea of apathy and depression.
I plan to go to a cognitive-behavioral speach therapy, just a bit afraid to burden my husbnd with yet another expense. Same with personal trainer (where I live it’s about 120 €/per month, but it adds up) and maybe therapeutic massages. I just don’t know what else to do. But I cannot stay in this place, I have to just fight my way out of it, just feeling quite guilty that on my husbands expense...
Also, got curious about thyroid analysis post higher, I will try to check that out, hope that it can get me fixed!
The people posting on this page are hurting. The guilt and the regret and the sadness you feel from day to day is incomprehensible.PLEASE watch what you say. Think before you speak.
Yes it’s five years later and the beat goes on. I think this syndrome is due to a decline in our civilization in spite (and sometimes as a result) of new communications technology. It’s especially troubling for empaths - which I am willing to bet the majority of us in this forum are.
My apologies, but I can’t offer a solution other than learn to recognize the narrow windows of opportunity to make even small breakthroughs and jump through them. Also know we are bound to miss some of these, so don’t beat yourself up for doing so. More opportunities will appear. They always will as long as we live, and we are often more ready for them than we realize.
Hey! Just a quick 'technique' I'm finding useful when it comes to getting stuff done and you don't have the willpower to do it.
I think the huge block on action comes from projecting the whole action in your mind and seing how unpleasant it feels. That way, it's imposible that you cross the "starting" line. What I recommend is realising that the starting line is illusory. Action is a continuum, so you can veeeery lightly start to do whatever needs to be done (e.g. cleaning the dishes), without commiting to finishing the task.
Very often, once you have dipped your toes into it, the task becomes harmless. By doing this several times you start building the realisation that you have the energy to complete the tasks, and that the problem was a psychological block.
Easier said than done, I know. It requires some guts.
Apart from that... don't think about your condition as a misfortuned accident. I think, years from now, when you look back to this moment in your life, you will regard it as a coherent part of the story. Necessary as any other. So don't be afraid to mess everything up a bit, you will survive and you will be doing better than before.
I found this thread when I googled lack of motivation and boy, can I relate! I'm 68,not in great health, my house is a freaking disaster area. I write lists, the "To Dos" trail from day to day, week to week, I don't even know where to start! As others have said, I hate people coming to my house cos its such a tip! I've tried setting timers, breaking tasks down, etc etc - atm nothing works!
I "know" theoretically I'd feel better if I did SOMETHING, but can't /don't translate that into action! Sometimes even picking up something from the floor seems like too much! Sorry, no answers, only questions and empathy!
I have been in the same boat with the lack of motivation and just wanting to sleep all of the time, to not face the day. I am 19, and currently enrolled in college. I am not too happy with where I'm headed in life, but I do have a very loving girlfriend and good relationships with my family and close friends, although none of them really know how I feel about life and my lack of everything. I go to counseling once a week, and I have talked to my doctor about the lack of motivation and the want to change my life, but nothing seems to help. I'll try to get things done in my days, but I will tend to just sleep through it all. Missing classes, procrastinating or not doing class work, occasionally prepare myself a decent meal, and I sometimes find myself drinking or smoking to try to ease my mind. I have a hard time getting to sleep, or staying asleep at night, but in the mornings I can sleep through the day easily. Getting out of bed is absolutely difficult, I try to do what I can but I don't feel anything in the mornings and I just don't want to go out and face the day. I've been living like this for the past 2 years and it has been something I want to fix, it's just that the mornings are difficult for me, or I don't get the sleep I needed to actually function during the day.
Thank you for letting me express this, and hopefully there will be some people to talk to about this...
OH this makes me so angry. I know I'm not supposed to "feed the trolls" but I actually created an account just to tell you how much potential damage you have done. This is a thread in which people who desperately want to be normal and lively and full of energy are trying their best to find ways to change their lives; we need encouragement and help and respect for having the courage to bare our souls and reach out. Like everyone else here, I've had to deal with that voice inside me - plus numerous voices from the outside - telling me I'm just being lazy and I need to suck it up. Don't you think, you mean, unsympathetic jerk, that if I could snap my fingers and suddenly be able to live a full and energetic life, being a fully present wife and mother without the weight of all this guilt and illness, DOING things again, ENJOYING things again, that I wouldn't snap every finger I have in a heartbeat? You obviously have not been down this horrible hole yourself; until you have, you have no right to judge ANYONE who has the courage to post here. Go back under your bridge and take your bitterness with you. You are not wanted here.
I've been on the same boat as all of you (my God, there are so many of us it's more like a cruise ship than a boat) for over twenty years, fighting major depression that got much worse when I had a child. I've taken many, many meds and none have worked. Electroshock therapy, magnetic therapy... None of it worked. I'm still in bed. Except now I have a three year old and a husband, so there's all the guilt that goes along with not being there to take care of them. Here are the things that make me feel better, and I'm serious: when I can do these things on a regular basis, life gets much, much better. When I stop doing them, life gets worse. I hope this list helps even one of you:
1) Exercise. I hate exercise. I so did not believe that exercise was the great thing everyone said it was. But then I started doing it. Walking fast for at least ten minutes a day, at my best it was thirty minutes a day. The day after I exercise, I FEEL BETTER. I really, honestly do. Some days I just can't do it but when I can, it really does help.
2) Eating less sugar. I LOVE sugar. For awhile there the only "happy" times were when I was lying in bed eating ice cream. I'm really struggling with this one. But it honestly helped.
3) Drinking more filtered, alkaline water. Like Fiji water or Crystal Geyser. Eventually I bought a filtered pitcher that raises the pH.
4) Getting outside/changing places. Even if it's just to breathe the air just for one breath and see the light and feel wind on my skin. Or at least changing my surroundings somehow. Even moving to a different room inside the house helps.
5) this will be one that some people will hate and that's fine, but both CBD and certain strains of medical marijuana (I'm in a legal state and I'm talking about strains that are designed to help fatigue and depression but keep you focused; consult leafly.com for info) REALLY help with getting out of bed in the morning and keeping energy up. I was totally against this for a long time because all I knew were stereotypes, but when I started reading and learning and talking to people at dispensaries, I found that weirdly enough it was a very valuable tool for me. If you're not in a legal state, check out CBD oil. It's derived from hemp but it's not psychoactive.
That's my five cents. Oh, also read the Bloggess. Very funny blog written by someone a lot like us. Good luck, compadres.
Oh, and light boxes! Check out light boxes. They let your brain get "natural" light even if you are stuck in bed. That helps too. I recommend Nature Bright.
I guess it is my turn to revive this thread. I have struggled with this for years. 41 years old here .... I used to sleep all day and night, only waking to take kids to school, pick up, stay awake until they went to bed and back to sleep I would go.
I was on Prozac for years. It simply doesn’t work for me (yes I have tried others).
I finally asked my doctor if I could try B12 shots and they worked for me. I no longer sleep other than bedtime and once I am up - I am up.
Motivation is still not there and I feel like it is due to all of the years of doing nothing more than what was absolutely necessary.
I am not going to lie - sometimes I wish I could still sleep the day away but I do realize i must change my mindset to change my life.
My house is a mess but not as bad as before. It is still not managed well enough that I am comfortable letting anyone in to visit.
However, I have started just making myself get something done. Maybe a load of laundry, unloading and reloading the dishwasher, clean off the counters, etc.
I have been a stay at home mom for 14 years (widowed 12 years ago).
I am trying to establish a daily routine and I am starting with baby steps. Just get one thing done and do my best to not add to the mess.
Point being Merlin you described my life for years and through slow changes I am hoping to find some sense of purpose and hope.
It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one. Even though I know I’m chronically depressed it just does not feel like depression sometimes. I mean it does but it’s mainly the lack of motivation to even wake up or get out of bed that has been bothering me. I used to be the complete opposite and now I’m just a mess.
I find the darkness of night warm and comforting and the brightness of day stark, sterile and threatening.
I feel guilty about the unfulfilled obligations or tasks I should undertake during the day and a sense of a reprieve of an evening when the outside world is shutting down for the evening.
I totally understand, I am in the same boat!! I am not sure how to get out. It is awful. I wish there was some easy answer or a pill to take but I know there isn’t. I am in therapy and on depression medicine and the end of winter it hits me really bad. I find it so hard to climb out each summer but I do but it’s never easy. The only thing I have found is just taking baby steps. This is going to sound strange but the only thing that will cause you to start moving is to just move but just baby steps. Even though every part of you wants to resist. It’s like paddling upstream. It’s a fight. Those that don’t have this, don’t understand at all. I guess it’s like anything else in life, there are no easy answers. Hang in there, you will get this, just keep trying. 💕💕
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and it feels soooooo much better!... it just sort of happened!.. 
I know this post is from 3 years ago and I hope things have gotten better for you since then. A lot can change in that time, I hope it does for all of us too. Things suck right now.
