Hi. I'm a 44 year old man with 3 kids. Going through an amicable divorce. I've had to move out but I've bought a nice place even though it's hard to afford. I've met a great woman, who I love and she loves me. I can be having a great day with her, and as soon as I leave i can, though not always, feel so low suicidal thoughts start brewing. It really hurts to admit but even though I truly love my children I resent them. I feel they are stopping me being me. I get to see them often. Mid week and every other weekend but I get no pleasure from seeing them. Even today, Christmas day. I am on anti depressants, but the lows are still unbelievably low.