Why do I easily get so angry these da... - Mental Health Sup...

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Why do I easily get so angry these days?

Heruga
Heruga
17 Replies

And what are some things I can do to stop this? I've always been ticked off easily but I feel like its gotten more intense these days. Especially when I am on the road I will easily get pissed off by the slightest things. Cars cut in front of me and I will tailgate them for the longest time. Cars honk at me from behind and my heart starts racing with extreme anger and I step on the brakes to piss off the person in the car behind me. Sometimes I will open the window and point the finger at them. I will honk and blink the lights easily at someone who gets in my way. When a traffic light turns red in front of me, I get so angry that it ruins my whole entire day. Another thing is that when I get hurt from an object like accidentally hitting my head on something, I have the irresistible urge to brake the object thinking it will cause 'harm' to it even though it is not a living thing. And when I hit it and throw the object couple times I become satisfied. What is wrong with me? I know this is abnormal but I don't know how to stop it.

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Is something stresses you out that maybe you don’t realize? I get easily angered when I am stressed or feeling overwhelmed.

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MAS_Nurse

Hi Heruga,

Take a look at this information about anger - causes, coping etc., from Mind UK one of the leading mental health charities in UK:

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

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borderriever

I hope I do not come across you on the road, you sound dangerous, not only to yourself also to others.

Have you just passed your Test.

I have learned over the years to drive in a defensive manner. I have been driving now for fifty years and I have, hand on heart not had a ticket, I am in some ways what people call a goody two shoes.

I was told by my Instructor, you become a driver after your first accident and yes that is about correct after been cut out of my car, caused by my stupidity, you learn why you keep your cool after screaming in pain for many hours. as they drove me to hospital twenty miles away.

You are not driving a dogem car, and loosing your ticket to drive is the least important thing to worry about. If you are determined to drive like this you will meet another driver like you who prefers to play chicken.

Talk to your GP please and see if you can get on an anger management course.

BOB

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Ssooff
Ssooff
in reply to borderriever

That answer is not gonna help her in any way. She’s talking about anger management and you tell her she’s dangerous... you should keep quiet instead.

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borderriever
borderriever
in reply to Ssooff

It is best to come from someone who has a suggestion to try and sort out this problem. As explained if you anger is so bad it could cause an accident to other people you become liable to not only the damage to the car, also damages to the person you have hurt or even killed. If the person damaged lose time at work because of injury that will be taken into consideration as well. Then you have litigation from the Police after that. Anger and other problems can mess about not only the drivers life, more importantly the innocent people that have been part of your anger etc.

We also need to look at the problems Heruga has with Her conditions upsetting home and life choices, This person needs help and will be able to arrange that at the same time as Anger Management.

If you feel letting someone on the road who may be a danger to others you yourself are not looking at the greater picture of possible life affected.

When we get old, over seventy, we need health checks every two years to keep us driving. No ifs or buts, if we fail the check up that is it.

We need to be responsible for our actions, to fail that would be wrong to other road users and pedestrians. When we have treatment generally speaking we are told to be responsible for our actions, just because we are ill does not mean that is a real excuse.

Be responsible no matter what you have. If you are unsafe you stop activities that may cause others grief. Get better and you carry on with your life and Driving

BOB

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Heruga

My life is all about stress even though its not supposed to be stressful. What I mean is I get stressed over little things that aren't a big deal at all. Ex: I get super stressed thinking what to cook for dinner, what to make for lunch, having to waste 10 minutes of my time making lunch. Yes just 10 minutes of doing something like that makes me feel like I wasted 10 minutes of my leisure time and I get very irritated and agitated over that. I am also stressed about work. I'm not really enjoying it as I should be considering it is actually involved with my dream career. I also get stressed out when I see huge crowds. There are millions of other things causing me stress I just can't write it here now.

So I knew I had anger management. I don't even need to go to a doctor for this I guess. And yes I've been into one major car accident 6 years ago when I was 18 due to speeding and the weather. For about 6 months after that I've been driving real carefully but I gradually went back to my reckless self. Luckily I haven't been into an accident since then but I feel like another one has to happen, maybe a life threatening one in order for me to stop being so aggressive on the road like this. Obviously, I'd like to avoid that. But I really can't think of any other options. Its always on my mind, that by driving recklessly your chances of getting a ticket, hurting yourself and others, having to pay a huge amount money for all sorts of things that can happen by driving recklessly.. significantly increases. YET I still cannot control myself even with me knowing all this. I must be the most mentally messed up person in the world. Is there even hope to fix a broken person like me?

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borderriever
borderriever
in reply to Heruga

You are not so Mentally abnormal as you think. Talk to your GP. Make a list of your problems etc, that will help you not forget what you wish to discuss.

There are coping techniques you can try. Breathing Techniques can help, also Relaxation Technique MINDFULNESS should help you calm your mood.

Over the last few days I have just returned from holiday today. The total drive was over four hundred miles, I get tired easily so knowing that I cut the mileage into parcels and take three driving days to complete the journey. So the time taken gave us several other areas to see on our way home. I visited the area where I started my hill walking when in my teens, I took three days and went around the sites I used to visit.

We then visited a hotel where Pax our Dog it treat like Royalty, as the people like to play with Him. After breakfast, we left and got home for Lunch.

Pace yourself if you are in distress stop the car for a time until you are more relaxed and continue on with your journey.

Talk to your GP

BOB

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Zoea

I don't think it's abnormal to react strongly in what is basically a situation that involves some danger. Perhaps some trauma from your car accident has stayed with you? I would just avoid the road if you can or try and listen to calming music or breath deeply or do some of those dissociative mindfulness techniques that people love these days (I will not react ... that is not me ... I don't need to be concerned ... reaction is disreaction blah).

I would suggest though based on your other concerns as to say hitting your head on a doorframe you should look into local mental health services for getting some help with anger issues. I do think it can be normal for younger people though (sometimes, not to present it as an excuse) and you'll grow out of it. Just worth working on with meanwhile.

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Heruga
Heruga
in reply to Zoea

No its not from a trauma. I think its just my inpatient personality. The more and more I see bad people in the world the more I start losing faith in humanity, thus why I have low tolerance on BS like I see on the road every single day.

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borderriever

Stress, Anxiety are two that go well together Anger and being reckless again can go together.

Personally with your Driving it is not you I am worried about, what really gets me going is the danger you are putting others into. It may not just be an Adult, how about family members including children. At my old address a vehicle went through a solid brick wall and ended up in the front room of a family watching the television, Children and Mother were killed. You need to understand killing someone on the road can lead to a murder charge these days. Personally you need your Anxiety and depression looked into also your roadway madness needs to be addressed. Do you now feel getting off the road at this time while you look into different treatment pathways is a good idea.

Driving with Anxiety and Anger are both bad bedfellows and I would personally feel if my moods were so bad I would need to stop until I could address the ange towards other road users.

You need to do something soon before the men in blue are knocking on your door or visiting you and others in hospital

BOB

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Heruga
Heruga
in reply to borderriever

I will take this message and keep it in my head when I drive. Too late once it happens right?

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Ssooff

I too suffer a lot of anger episodes. I don’t drive anymore but I used to and I felt the same way. I live in Mexico City and is very common here to be cat called on the street all the time, which can trigger my anger episodes so badly that once I almost fist fight with a group of guys on the street (I’m a 31 yo tiny woman). I recently discovered that, although is not a solution, walking on the street with my headphones on with loud white noise (rain, the ocean, jungle) really helps because it isolates myself from external triggers when I’m having a sensitive/difficult day. Maybe you can try to use public transportation and your headphones on, at least until you feel a bit more emotionally balanced?I also hear sometimes podcasts, audiobooks or even meditate inside a public toilet when in crisis with a great app (headspace). Hope this works for you :)

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Heruga
Heruga
in reply to Ssooff

Thanks. Well unfortunately in my suburb area public transportation is not an option. I drive to work everyday for a 40 minute commute one way. But this me getting angry situation doesn't happen everyday, thankfully. This past few days I've actually been trying to consciously calm myself while driving and it has been ok so far.

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Sara_6s-7s
Sara_6s-7s
in reply to Heruga

Hi- until you mentioned suburbs I thought you must live in London, where most people drive whilst angry! When I was my Mum's carer I was living on my last nerve as they say, and would have conniptions over the mildest misfortune. You come across as being very stressed or anxious, which will then be expressed in your driving. Or maybe it's the driving itself that's causing this. Have you had your cortisol levels checked? Your GP/Practice Nurse should be able to do a test for you. I hope you do find a way through this.

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Heruga
Heruga
in reply to Sara_6s-7s

Sorry for the late response. No I live in the U.S in the state of NJ. NJ is pretty much known for reckless, inpatient drivers. Its not really driving itself that makes me nuts, its the people around it that are stupid that drives me crazy. This past 2 weeks though, I've been driving more peacefully. I tried not to let the small things get to me and so far its working ok. I am also in a rush all the time so this may also be a contributing factor. So I decided I will take my time since there is no reason I need to be in a hurry.

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Linnea1
Linnea1
in reply to Heruga

Hello, Heruga -

I'll share my driving story: When I had a young child, I was always in a hurry, as getting myself and little one ready every morning was a challenge. This led me to drive aggressively and stress over red lights. It seemed like I hit every or most of the red lights on my way to work, and there were cars pulling out from parking lots and driveways, without looking or caring, or I'd get behind a truck that went 10 -20 miles

below the speed limit, every day (it was a 1/2-hour commute). I kept wondering when I was going to get a "smooth sail" to work: no red lights that last for minutes, it seemed, no cars pulling out and almost hitting me and causing me to brake and slow down, or slow-moving trucks to follow the whole way to work.

One day, I had an epiphany: I realized that the things that really irked me on the drive to and from work were part and parcel of a commute. In other words, this IS the commute: red lights, crazy drivers that pull out from nowhere, and slow trucks. There is no "smooth sailing," and I needed to accept that these things happened daily because that's what happens during a commute. Once I realized this and accepted all of it as part of my commute, I completely accepted it. I also prepared for mornings better, to make sure got out of the door with plenty of extra time, should unseen circumstances happen.

I hope this helped. In addition, it sounds like your anger and aggression are symptoms and you might want to get to the root of it. In the meantime, I hope my story highlighted some things, and you find it helpful.

Take care! XOXO

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borderriever

When I passed my Driving test I was seventeen, my instructor said if I was angry with another motorist, count to ten, by that time the anger situation will pass.

You need to understand if someone tries to undercut etc, try not to make matters worse. Sometimes the initial undercut is caused by a third party not the driver who is trying to keep their car undamaged. Most drivers given time will understand the stupidity of taking any errors personally, car damage caused can be also expensive and both parties involved they can both lose their No Claims, In other words you are both taken to the cleaners and it may take upwards three to six years to build up our No Claims again.

Money and spending it is a great incentive to keep your mood sweetness and light. You lose your excess you also lose you NC, A great incentive not to be a angry young driver etc. Excuses do not make you any more right and they, the Insurance Company will still hit hard regardless.

When I had my serious accident they kept money back on the claim for five years in case the sandstone Wall I hit needed further repair at a later date. It really did affect later policies and prevented me from replacing the car with something bigger and better. I was on public transport for three years after the accident. Because the Insurance cost was out of this world. Caused by age. I was then twenty six.

BOB

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