Nothing left my job is over

I am 65 next year. My life has been crap. Bullied at school for been fat. Marriage no good. Told I was no good mentally abused. My son left at 14 . Daughter special needs grandson I brought up epilepsy narcolepsy learning difficulties. He nearly died July on life support for 8 days. Now ok moved to a new house were he is being look after at last I am now on my own my work is done. Son has is own life daughter being looked after now grandson getting sorted out. Nothing for me Started crying now cannot stop. Not eating sleeping no energy to do anything thing. My life has been a waste of time. All alone.

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  • So sorry to hear that. I feel pretty rubbish too. I live alone now. pm anytime. Do you have friends, any other family? Would you join a group/club? Sorry if it sounds clichéd.

  • Are you saying your life is a waste of time by looking after your family ? At last my work is done?..ok.. and nothing for me ? To do? Do you mean you still want to look after them?..ok relax , your only just starting..you've done so much..you've made your coffee..now your job is to do something for your self..a new beggining all for you as well being their for the others at the same time..take your time you have heaps of it..use it wisely..whatever makes you happy..What is you would like to do..

  • Hi Caroline62,

    I read from your blog that you are facing a big transition point in your life.

    Statistically, you possibly have another 25-30 years to continue living and giving. It's time for reflection on the past but more importantly looking forward to the freedom of doing something else, either for yourself or as a volunteer with an organization. You can march to the beat of your drum :)

  • Your life has most certainly not been a waste of time. You looked after everyone, and very well by the sound of it - they are all still alive. You need to take time to wind down. I have found that following a period of living off adrenaline when family matters take over, I am mentally, physically and emotionally drained. You must be all of those things. You need to relax and do something you enjoy - gardening (although becoming the wrong time of year really), meandering around car boots, antique markets, parks. I have only recently recovered my own health after a 30+ year battle and have started volunteering in a charity shop - only one afternoon a week. I absolutely love it. Sit down and write a list of things that interest you. I'm not saying do them all, but take a look at your list and hopefully you will be enlightened and inspired.

    Also your physical wellbeing has possibly taken a battering. Depression and anxiety have now been linked to how our bodies are running. If you don't already, try making your own healthy soups, using a blender. Also eat a mixture of nuts, and try to cut out too many carbohydrates and sugar. Take good care of yourself.

  • PS I have just read your profile and some of your previous posts. You have suffered depression most of your life. Have you ever had a host of blood tests to check for physical illness? As I said in my previous reply, there is exciting research now saying that depression, mental health issues, and many big illnesses like diabetes, weight problems & autoimmune illness are linked to how our gut bacteria are behaving. My own illness was hypothyroid, diagnosed in 1981, which is an autoimmune illness. I would suggest you go to your GP and request a Full Blood Panel (to see what state your blood is in), plus vitamins B12 and D (low levels can both cause depression), also ask for folate & ferritin tests. Also ask for a thyroid antibody test to see if your thyroid is playing up. Hypothyroidism (low thyroid hormone) causes up to one hundred symptoms including depression and weight gain.

  • Your life has not been a waste of time , your the core of your family and will always be needed , yes our children grow up and have lives of their own but you will always be their main person , maybe they want to give you some space , sounds like you have had a rough time this year with lots of worry and stress , maybe this is your time now to recharge your batteries and look for things that YOU want to do to make yourself happy , ring or visit your children /grandson make sure they know you still want some involvement in their lives .

    Am hoping that you will feel a bit brighter very soon , you sound like a very lovely caring person

    Take lots of care

    Cales xx

  • Hi Caroline62, What an amazing job you have done, to care for and support your family! Life transitions are not easy, and for some letting go of the role they once had which to some degree, was part of their identity is challenging. But as these lovely forumite folks here have said, this can also be a time of hope, of giving back to you, of self-caring and redefining who you are. Try not to be afraid, you are not alone in your feelings and experiences. Look for new opportunities to get out and socialise or give to the local community through joining local groups, clubs, volunteering in a charity shop. Do have a health check up with your doctor and discuss how you are feeling.

    Well done folks, keep up the great work in supporting each other :-)

  • So sorry to hear remember you aren't alone God is with you You got to live for the kids Even if they have disabilities I am sure they are there for you Anyways thats what makes them the unique person they are

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