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THE CONTINUING SAGA OF MY GRANDSON WITH THE MANGE AND MY SANCTIMONIOUS SON

I have tried 3 times to write this post. if you remember, I told my 25 yr old grandson his hair looked like he has the mange. His Mother cut it and I added that he shouldn't let her near him with scissors .So my son is angry and continues to be so. He has blocked my phone and e-mails and told his Father he would contact me when he isn't as angry as he is now. At first I was sorry, now not so much. I am aching to tell him what a sanctimonious prick he is being, but that would only bring temporary satisfaction. I am sick of this hot mess, and it's starting to affect me . Any advice will be taken seriously and appreciated. Pam

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Hi Pam if you want to drive your grandson further away then call him more names! That is a sure fire way of doing it. What you need to do is apologise to him and make sure you don't do it again. You have upset him and hurt his feelings. How would you feel if someone said those type of things to you? What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander after all. Bev xx

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I have apologized to my grandson twice. It is my son who can't let it go .

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Well apologise to your son then too! And promise him you will not slag off him or his family any more. Make sure you don't either if you want to keep in contact with them all. Bev x

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I know you are right and I intend to follow your advice, but I don't know what to do with all this anger.

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Bash your pillows, go and work it off gardening, go for a long walk somewhere, find someone you don't like and have a go at them, find an empty field and stand in the middle screaming your lungs out.... get the picture?

I am not sure why you are angry though Pam as you are the one who has caused this? If your family had treated you like this then you would have a right to be furious so think how your son feels. Bev x

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If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all .. It is a small part of mastering the mind .. With your anger - Try new things out Pam .. Join a boxing gym like I did and punch the bags .. So good for releasing frustration .. Join a meditation and yoga class (I do those as well) Go swimming even .. Have you got a dog ? If so take it for long walks and discover new places with your furry pal (I love doing that)) Just a few suggestions Pam

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Hi Pam,

Give your grandson some time and please put down your verbal weapons because they do cut deeply. The only person you can control is yourself. Please don't put your relationship with him in jeopardy. You will regret it. My mom sure did.

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I will follow your advice also, but I feel like it's a high price to pay.

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Why do you feel that way, Pam? Why are all of you angry? Is it more than the haircut?

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Two reasons....this is the first time I have offended him and I think he is over reacting and I have been angry at him several times and simply told him so without all the drama.

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Since I don't know much about the family dynamics here, I will simply suggest that you communicate with him without harsh words. Your feelings matter and so do his. Healthy communication is key.

Blessings!

Dee

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Is it possible your sons wife has something to do with your sons attitude?

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No doubt about it. I'm sure she feeds the fire

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I can't open my e mail can you pm me

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I was in similar situation but I am the daughter in law.

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I have always been good to her and tried to be a support, but she wants nothing to do with me.She is a quiet conservative woman and I am not.

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Well do u wanna here my story?

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of course, that goes without saying.

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Ok here goes

When my daughter got pregnant she wasnt married and her boyfriend was a different race. Well mother in law didnt approve and said very hurtful things to her and even went as far as telling her the baby wouldnt be loved as much because of mixed race. Little did she know that my daughters pregnancy was at high risk for miscarriage and was told by doctor to avoid stress. So when my daughter called me crying and upset i confronted mother in law. Told her that my daughter was an adult (24) and was able to make her own decisions about her life and that she upset her by what she said. Well she went off on me telling me that you wait and see whats gonna happen to her in 5 yrs. She will be a single mother living on welfare and will have nothing. And that what she is doing is unbibical Meaning not being married and having a baby. I told her that this is a personal choice for her and that she isnt even religious and she had the gall to blame me for raising her without religion! Excuse me but i didnt raise her myself your son did too. My husband had religion crammed down his throat when he was young and doesnt want anything to do with it. ( I dont want to offend anyone by this comment so apologize for that, just saying how it was) This happened over 7 yrs. ago and our relationship is still suffering.

About my daughter

She had a healthy baby boy that is loved deeply.

She went back to work 8 months after baby was born

She and boyfriend bought a house together.

She recently got a great paying job.

Her boyfriend works full time and goes to school.

They just celebrated there daughters 1st birthday.

They are still not married.

I am so very proud of her

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And Mother in law misses out. You should be proud of your daughter. It sounds like she knows what she's about.

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Hello Pam

We have been having problems with the internet here last night so I picked up on this 09/14. So sorry

Personally I would let the subject go now. You have said sorry, that should be it.

If you have a bad back, stop digging?.

BOB

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