Today is a bad friggen day. I honestly want to die rn and I don't even have the strength to keep going. I want a reason to live besides my best friend. She can't be with me rn, so it's kinda hard for me to feel happiness w/o her. I never feel suicidal when I'm with her... it's so weird. When we're away from each other, all I can think about is hurting myself. On a daily basis though I feel as if im outside of my body, and life isn't actually happening. I feel like I'm not even in the room. I just want a reason to f'ing live.