Ugliness, almost destroyed my life. - Mental Health Sup...

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Ugliness, almost destroyed my life.

Add2
Add2

Hello!

I have a permanent problem, due to my ugly look.

Regarding my face it's noticeably ugly and truly I can accept it and live with it, but the problem is , people are giving me a hard time almost every day because of my look, I can see that in their looks and smiles when they first see me , some times I can hear them describe, how ugly I'm in front of me. I'm not young i'm almost 28 years old and still cannot figure out how to get over this problem.

If you have a solution or a similar experience, kindly share it.

Regards,

12 Replies
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These people are ignorant, unintelligent and probably not very educated people or they would realise just how awful they are being. I dont unfortunately have a solution for you but I can make a suggestion if you dont mind this..

I myself am going through a bit of a life-change, shall we say, and not my look but my self esteem and confidence is lacking but this post is about you and not me. But this helped me.. a lot....I read a book written by Katie Pyper, I dont know if you remember her, she was the gorgeous girl who had acid thrown in her face by a horrible guy who just could not accept she did not want to be with him any more and this was what he did to her!! She went through a long time feeling really ugly due to the scarring and all the operations she went through and all the looks, comments, nasty remarks etc about how her face looked. She found her own ways of dealing and coping with this. Her book (its called "CONFIDENCE") teaches you ways of dealing with certain situations and feelings and how to overcome these. It truly is an inspirational read. If there is one thing I could recommend you do its read this book. If I could reach through my laptop and give it to you right now, I would. When I was reading it, a lot of wee light bulb moments went through my head!!

There are some people out there who look gorgeous on the outside but you can just see/tell they are truly ugly on the inside and this makes them altogether ugly. You sound like a "really nice person". Personality IS more important that what you look like on the outside. Remember, no matter how we look, the outside is only packaging....What is on the inside really is what counts. I know that sounds cliched but I happen to think its true!!...Hold your head up wherever you are be proud of who you are with all your good points (its not all down to looks).

Good Luck and take care.

PS. 28 is NOT old. I remember being 28 as though it was yesterday and I am 51 now. Time flies by really, really quickly. Dont waste your life worrying about what OTHER people are thinking about you. Go out there and live your life as best you can and enjoy it!! (Thats the reason you are here!!)

PPS. You were right, at the begining of your post......its other people's problem, not yours!! XXX

Fefe2386
Fefe2386
in reply to En1234

Excellent post, I will be reading that book.

custardpie
custardpie
in reply to En1234

Yes, really lovely inspiring post, I'll be reading that too⭐

Those people that make remarks are incredibly shallow and certainly not worth much but I know that won't help you at all.

I don't have a problem with my features but have always had a problem with my self esteem and confidence as I was treated badly by my brother when I was younger (he's no longer around as his drinking problem killed him in the end and I didn't know how to feel when he died, he was only 57) and he knocked any confidence I had. I was very fortunate to have very loving parents who didn't realise what my brother was doing; my dad was away at sea a lot and my mum was bringing up 3 children practically on her own and working.

It has taken me a long time to come to terms with it's not how good you are academically or whether you are the most popular person amongst friends etc, it's what inside you that counts. I was bullied by the person I worked for and it's since I left that job last May that I have come to realise that if people don't like me then it's tough.

I'm sorry I haven't got a definitive answer for you but have you thought about some kind of therapy to give you more confidence and look past those people that stare at you?

I agree with En1234 in that Katie Piper has been through a lot due to an acid attack and has now come out a lot stronger. These are very wise words and agree as well that you are not old at 28. I am 58 and taking more notice of my body and what I put in it to stay healthy, it's not how I look, it's how my body is inside.

Take care x

Hi I can emphasise with you as I had very severe acne as a teenager and have been left with pitts and scars on my skin. I got and still do occasionally get 'ugly' comments and I am not going to lie and say they don't hurt coz they do. These are always from men. However I have develped a bit of a sharp tongue if they say anything in front of or to me.

The more they see you have hurt you the more they will do it so practise giving them no reaction apart from a smart comment if you can think of one. If you can't move away and avoid those people in future. They are only saying things to make themselves feel better and it says far more about them than it does about you.

I have always wished I was pretty and still do I guess but it ain't gonna happen folks so I have learnt to live with it. Oh and I had my fair share of fellas so they were by no means all put off by my appearance. Let your personality shine through and they will be too dazzled by that to worry overmuch how you look physically. A good personality makes even the plainest people beautiful you know. If you show people you are comfortable in your own skin they will tend to take you at your own valuation. x

Here, Here to all of the above!!

I hope this helps you and remember too that the only people whose comments or opinions that should ever matter to you are the ones from the people who mean the most to you, everyone else can "do one" as they say!!.....Everyone of us, no matter how we look, is unique.

I only posted on here for the first time last week and the people on here have lifted my spirits no end. I think you should keep posting because the support on here is incredible and you will never feel as though you are on your own as long as there is someone on here to have a chat with....and there always will be!!....XXXX

Hello, I'm Pam and I'm just going to throw some ideas your way and maybe you'll find them useful .I have known some beautiful people and they worry so much about their looks , Ithink they don't see their selves as others do. The other thing that comes to mind is how quickly looks wear off, bad or good, and what you like or dislike is the person inside. I don't know if you are m or f , it doesn't really matter.....I would present myself as a very well groomed and attractive person, as in a good hair cut ,well groomed nails, quality clothes, and I would work on my manners . I would do this ,not to be pretty, but to give myself confidence to deal with the unenlightened . I would be so charming , I would look them straight in the eye until they look away.Hard to do? maybe, but you probably do most of those things anyway. So you are a wonderful gift wrapped in some plain brown paper. Who remembers gift wrap? I'm the type of person who would confront the issue. I would have to ask.. are you bothered by my ugly mug, I don't bite. You my not be comfortable with any of my suggestions,but my purpose is to put the discomfort where it belongs, on the other person. I hope you realize I'm only trying to show you there are different solutions to your problem . You may find something much better. I hope so. Pam

Stop calling yourself ugly, it start with self love, make yourself love that person you see in the mirror. Plus life is too short to be caring about other people opinions especially if those people are jerks

I agree completely but dang i can't even undo that. It's extremely difficult if you always hated yourself. Easier said then done. 😢

Building your own self-esteem is never easy especially with so many mean people who only care about the outside beauty...... its difficult it doesn't mean its impossible

Yeah i understand😌 Wow. How did you do it? I need a lot of advice with that stuff.

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