Another Update on my life: So again, I... - Mental Health Sup...

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Another Update on my life

John79962 profile image
13 Replies

So again, I keep saying that I was gonna post here more often, but I haven't again had time to do so, I have been surprisingly busy (Well by my standards).

I have been taking care of my friends brother who I get on well with and has kept me pretty busy recently, and between meeting up with a few friends here and there I somewhat lost track of time.

I got my results for my A levels a few days ago and am only just coming to terms with the fruits of my labor having gotten into the university I had chosen. This of course is not a bad thing by any length but, is something that I have been finding both an exciting and terrifying prospect. I have been away for two weeks at most and so this will definitely be an experience. I'm determined but also a little nervous, I know I mentioned this in a post before but now its more immediate, I'm not asking for a step by step guide or anything but if anyone has any advice feel free to comment. (This is kinda a post and a question I suppose)

13 Replies
Gambit62 profile image

Well done on your results - from an article I saw in papers today you have done well - was saying that the general level has fallen and a lot of people aren't managing to make their first choice.

Quite natural to feel apprehensive about the prospect of university - end of school is a time of big change and adjusting to change is a process that you just have to go through at your own pace. Important thing is to be patient.

The general change cycle is: shock, anger, acceptance and enthusiasm ... but it often loops so just be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to adjust.

John79962 profile image
John79962 in reply to Gambit62

Thank you for commenting Gambit :) , I have heard similar things, I am greatful that I was able to get what I did, but I am nervous about the prospect of it. I've been busy going through the things that need to be organized and didn't have time to check on here.

I know everyone is going to be in the same sort of situation on arrival but it doesn't seem to help much. I mean I'm really looking forward to it but at the same time I'm also a little scared. suppose that's to be expected though.

Suzie40 profile image

My honest advice to you would be to let your instincts be your guide, and do what feels right. And if you're not ready to fly the nest, then don't. I got my first choice of uni and I was gutted. The time between getting my results and leaving home went by in a blur of interfering relatives bringing me their old saucepans, and having to watch my sister redesign her soon-to-be bedroom.

The day to leave came and my dad took me to halls. He helped me to my room with all my saucepans, said his goodbyes and as he walked out the door, I walked straight after him. Got in his car and told him to take me back home.

I then spent a year breaking my parents hearts by ditching all my qualifications and working in dead end jobs, partying til dawn and treating their house like a hotel.

There is a happy ending though - I saw sense the year after, reapplied to a local uni where I could study and live at home, and found success.

I don't mean to make you feel even more nervous. I just know that the majority of replies you get will be from people telling you it'll all be ok, and that student days are the best days of your life etc etc; I just wanted to offer a different perspective.

John79962 profile image
John79962 in reply to Suzie40

Thank you Lucy, I know it will be a challenge, but hopefully it will be something I will feel able to do (Of course I can't be certain until I get there, I've been wrong before). This has given me a different perspective that I hadn't really thought about so thank you for sharing. I don't think this made me more nervous, (I'm already pretty nervous already) anyways, I'm glad it worked our for you. and thanks for commenting :)

Hi, Congrats on your results, you must have worked very hard. I remember my math teacher at college saying at least the actual level of difficulty form A levels is no higher once you get to uni, and the first year of studying is the lightest in terms of assignments, to ease everyone in gently (so that’s the hope anyway).

Try and make the most of freshers week, maybe join some activities outside your course as it’s great to make supportive friends that are not studying the same thing as you, makes it easier to offer support over different subjects and can be very enlightening.

Life will always be full of choices, non of us always make the right ones, but even the wrong ones can teach us a lot, so just try to embrace the nervousness, you will be surrounded by everyone feeling like that, so just remember when you look at some other starter who looks full of confidence and self assurance, inside they are probably scared s***less.

Hope you have a wonderful time xx

John79962 profile image
John79962 in reply to

Thanks monib, the work load is something that also worries me,but then again it did in A level too, but it didn't seem like all that much when they eased it on us. I've already been sent a number of things about activities to join so with any luck I'll have a couple of things to be involved in.

That is a good point, even if I don't get on well with the change it is still an experience to learn from, I am one of the only one of my friends who is going to university this year (For various reasons) so, at least I get a head start I suppose!

I hope so too, thanks for commenting :) xx

WantToChange profile image

Well done for getting ono the course you chose :). So many ppl have had to go into clearing this year, I work in an office that deals with clearing :). So well done you!!

Don't be nervous about uni. I was nervous about my first day, was worried I would struggle to make friends like I did in high school.

But trust me, ppl are way mor eopen-minded at uni, ppl mature a good bit when te achive this milestone. Don't worry about making friends, you will bump into someone who you have lots in common with. I met a girl because we both didn't want to use the lift and took the stairs and got talkiign on our way up.

Plus, the uni arrange fantastic ice breakers during the first week. They try to make the transition easy because they know everyone will be nervous. And that's what you need to keep in mind, EVERYONE will be nervous!

Try to view this is an exciting new chapter of your life, and not something that will be too hard for you. You will ease into university life easily :). And you will enjoy it and be happy to be there. Just make sure you enjoy the rest of your break instead of worrying because when you get there you'll wonder what you were ever so worried about :) x

John79962 profile image
John79962 in reply to WantToChange

Thanks WantToChange :) this did help me a bit, I have heard a lot about the things that are done to try and make the experience as good as possible but its nice to have the extra assurance, hopefully it will be an exciting new chapter.

I wish I could write more in reply to these helpful comments but I can't think of anything else to say.

Thanks for commenting :) x

WantToChange profile image
WantToChange in reply to John79962

No problem,

We are all here for each other :) xx

Photogeek profile image

Hi John and big Congratulations on your abilities and hard work

I won't write much as I'm in hurry now.

Monib has said all I would have said. Enjoy it, take it day by day join a few clubs or

Societies at College and you will meet other people who share your interests

Keep an eye on your emotional health and if you need any kind of help, do not

Be afraid to say " guys I need some help with this or that"

John. You are a lovely bright thoughtful young man, so I know you will be ok.

Hannah x

John79962 profile image
John79962 in reply to Photogeek

Hey Hannah, its definitely a relief to know that my fate no longer relies on a single sheet of paper (Something that even now I think is extremely unfair to some of the people I know who are brilliant in their subjects but not in exams).

I was looking for that word earlier "Societies" I couldn't remember what they were called, I've seen a list of some of them and I'm sure they'll be a few that I'll join. I've always had trouble asking for help but I think I've got better at it. Still a little nervous but, I'm fairly sure I'll be okay (Hopefully).

Thanks again, and hope you are doing well also :) John x

wallflower_fairy profile image

Congratulations John, I was sure your hard work would pay off. :)

I'm not sure what advice I could offer, although I must say Lucy's comment did strike a chord with me and I'm glad she could offer a difference perspective, as it's good to have a balanced view. Personally I feel as though I went before I was ready (I was 19, but I'd had an extremely stressful year before that and was still reeling from it), and was thoroughly miserable in my first semester - if I'm to be frank. My advice is to go with your instinct, because it's usually right, and don't let other people tell you what the right thing is, only you know what's best for you. Perhaps I was meant to go to uni when I did - in second semester I got to know the person I walked to lectures with and became really good friends with her, I think a friend for life - I've got lots of wonderful memories of the time I spent with her; and I eventually started to make more friends (or at least people who I'm enjoying getting to know, and can hopefully become friends with good next year); I passed the first year reasonably well, and now I'm going to be running a society. It just took a lot longer to settle in than the average because of my personal situation, but I couldn't put off going to university forever. If you do want to go uni but don't feel ready, just be mindful that if you put off going too much you might never end up going, and you might regret that.

It's good to take other factors into consideration too, is uni far from home? I say this because I'm sure that I couldn't of survived my first year at uni without home being so near, and going back most weekends (I probably won't have time to go home weekends next year, so I'm freaking out a bit about that myself). If it genuinely feels too daunting then you could consider looking at unis that offer the same courses nearer home? I think we discussed this before and I'm not sure you said there were other close ones on offer - but I thought I'd put the suggestion out there. Or you could give this one a go and if you don't like it, then consider a transfer? I guess in a nutshell my advice would be don't worry too much about it now, and remember there are always other options. :) Also, if visualise realistically the worst case scenario about going to this uni - hopefully you'll realise it's not as worrying as you initially fear.

I wouldn't over whelm yourself in Fresher's week by signing up for loads of societies that you're not even going to attend, only sign up for the ones you are serious about joining. Otherwise try to enjoy it as much as you can; remember everyone's in the same boat; watch out for False Fresher's Friends and bare in mind it could take a while to settle in, but you could still end up loving it. In the meantime, enjoy the rest of the holiday, you deserve some rest and relaxation after all your hard work.

Best of luck and big hugs,

wanderingwallflower xx

John79962 profile image
John79962 in reply to wallflower_fairy

Thanks Fay :), As I think I mentioned in one of my other replies, it is a relief that I got in, but I cant shake all the nerves of going. I'm gonna try my best to keep in touch with my family fairly frequently at least to begin with otherwise I might have trouble being that I have never been away from home for so long.

Lucy's perspective definitely did help, its great to see so many open and supportive people on here as I think I have already mentioned. Everyone is different and can only do things in there own time. Just because someone never thought they'd be a writer doesn't mean that in a few years they couldn't be the author of a best selling novel. everything takes time and that time is different for everyone.

Though I find the prospect of going pretty scary on the surface of it, I know that there are so many things that can come from it which makes me just as excited. I haven't any other choices as the course in particular that I am doing is not offered at all that many universities (As far as I am aware) so In a way I am throwing myself in the deep end a little, but hopefully it will pay off.

I'm trying my best just to chill though there are a few things left to get sorted for Uni. I am worried about making friends but when it comes down to it, I may even make some in the process anyways (I suppose we'll see), I have been known to over think things.

I remember you saying about running a society and it sounds like a great opportunity that I'm sure you'll do well in and I wish you well for your next year at Uni too (Which I imagine starts around the same kind of time as other courses? I think I have to be there for the 13th September).

Anyways, thanks for commenting, its great to hear from you and I hope you are doing well.

Thanks and Big Hugs,

John :) xxxx

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