Feel sad and I'm pregnant.

[Oneinmillion]

I am 17 weeks into pregnancy and I don't feel that pregnancy joy at all. I can't be bothered to do anything. I have to force myself to go about each day and fake smile to avoid unnecessary questions that I don't want to answer. I have 7 year old too and suffered post depression without help or support and it seem I fully didn't get rid off it. Also not long ago got promoted and now I feel like I won't get any further than that, money worries too how I'm gonna be when I go on maternity leave. Also have driving test to pass. And feel like I'm on my own against it all. I want to enjoy this pregnancy but I feel it more like burden. We didn't plan it. I had biopsy done before so I had to take my protection out and while I was healing got pregnant by accident. Didn't wanted to go with termination as I have done it in the past and felt I did deserve cin3 for what I did.

I am so emotional that almost every time I try to speak with my partner or even think about it I burst in to tears.

[Jonezy86]

We don't all instantly love being pregnant or instantly liver our children, just take your time with things and find someone you can confide in, your partner ideally even if through floods of tears! X

[Oneinmillion in reply to Jonezy86]

Thank you. My partner tries really hard to support me but even he finds it hard at the times when I have my really bad days, I am gonna see midwife because he is concerned I might break apart after this second childbirth and that there won't be us anymore, and I don't want that.

[Jonezy86 in reply to Oneinmillion]

Good idea! Hopefully they will sort you a support network that makes everything seem a bit less daunting x

[Carla_Jane]

Hello,

I really feel for you. I've got a 13 year old and a 2 year old and both i had depression the entire way through pregnancy and post natal depression which was terrible.

I didn't want to to take anti-depressents through my pregnancy or whilst breast feeding with my second which made it really hard for me and my ex partner.

You should talk to him, I hope he understands (my ex wasnt very good at understanding), if he doesnt then family, friends and midwife is a good idea.

You aren't on your own and it will get better. You feel like it won't, but that is depression.

Stay strong, focussed and at the end you will have a child which you will love. I didn't want to be anywhere near my two year old when she was a few months old, due to the depression, but now I love her to bits.

I hope you start to feel better. You aren't alone

Xx

[Oneinmillion in reply to Carla_Jane]

Thank you so much for your comment it means a lot to me to know it's not me being just difficult. But I do not have family or friends though so I'm a bit isolated that way. I would love to go to support group were I possibly could feel I can share my inner thoughts. Some colleagues are very caring that makes me feel bit better too.

[Carla_Jane in reply to Oneinmillion]

A support group is a good idea. Maybe one for pregnancy and one for depression/anxiety, that way they are different people that will understand different aspects.

You will get there, just make sure you talk to people, I didn't and I wasn't in a good way until I finally went to the GP xx

[Oneinmillion in reply to Carla_Jane]

Yeah I am not good at talking. Only when its start to get obvious I speak out because people around me get suspicious. Sounds really bad. I am trying more now to not be quiet. It's hard.