Its so hard folks. Its like its ok when talking but if i have to make things about me all i can see is black darkness. I hate life. God forgive me, i feel so guilty as there are people who would give anything to have a life and be physically ok. And all i can think to that is that im a fraud being here and wishing i could give them my physicalities because i wouldnt wish my head on anyone. Death, wishing death, feeling sick from living. Hating all the people who dnt understand. Being angry at people who are having nice good lives. Then guilty again because what right do i ever have to be angry at people having happy lives or being jealous of them. I hate looking in the mirror. I keep thinking that everyone can see what i see an ugly disgusting messed up excuse for an individual who is pathetic and will never be anything more than a waste of skin and air. I dont deserve life and i should die because i am simply draining the light that could be shone on someone worthy of it to grow. Instead i the disgusting waste of skin am draining the light. I dnt deserve the light. I deserve the dark. Sorry folks. For wasting your time with my petty sad pathetic existance.