Third post

[jsph554]

Hello again, couldn't sleep so I thought that I should make a post. Again nothing eventful happened (by which I mean that nothing bad has happened) which is good. I have been thinking, how do I start believing the good things that I try to tell myself? I've been trying to tell myself good things to drown out the voice that only says the bad, but it isn't working yet. Do I just keep doing it, or am I doing something wrong?

[DMM218 Ambassador]

Hi - hoping you are asleep no0

[DMM218 Ambassador in reply to DMM218]

Asleep now. I was woken by cats and dogs. Just to give that image of mad cat lady to me now! Seriously, it's hard dealing with that inner critic and without anti-depressants that voice was too strong for me. It's quieter now and it's only when I'm messed about in life that it gets bad again. At present, it's there and loud. Talking to yourself helps. Using CBT technique of not reviewing the thought and assessing its validity helps. Its one thought in many we have but it's the one we pay attention to. I know you do all that.

When I think about it, another way to help challenge that thought is to get validation from outside yourself. This can be remembering what other people have said and how they acted which was positive about you as a person. So, look at your history and remember friends, family, strangers you showed you your worth. Then think of things you have done that disprove the thought. Times when you've acted kindly, bravely etc. It's not heroics just little things that may have been a bit out of your comfort zone or are so unique to you that others couldn't do them.

[jsph554 in reply to DMM218]

I managed to sleep, but not for long.

I see. I'll have to get that.

[DMM218 Ambassador in reply to DMM218]

So talking to self good but you need validation. So that's looking at supportive actions to what you say. I'm a good person because I helped that old lady with her shopping. I am a kind person because that old lady told me that. I am kinder than others because I wasn't the only person who was in the supermarket car park. I am courageous because I saw her and walked over to offer help even though I am rubbish at socializing. Now that is bound to be better than just telling yourself these things. Also, if you can remember past events of this kind you might feel more confident to keep doing them. That spurns you on.

Remember all sorts of things can be a challenge to overcome. Some days just getting up is that challenge so look at it honestly- it's about your challenges not anyone else's.

Jo I've chatted privately with you and you are a good person. Hoping that we keep talking so I can find out more about you as a person. If you were a bad person I'd let you know!

[jsph554 in reply to DMM218]

Thank you. You're a good person too.

[Simod73]

Hi no your not doing nothing wrong,I had those bad thoughts that the world was going to end,it was making me have serious anxiety.but talking about it and I found riding my bike really helped me Chanel the thoughts.

There is light at the end of the tunnel,tell yourself we are not going to all die. Take care simon

[jsph554 in reply to Simod73]

Good. I'm glad I'm on the right track.

[Hidden]

Hi

Keep reinforcing the positive messages you are saying to yourself. It is early days so try to keep repeating the positive messages. You have probably been listening to a 'negative voice' inside your head for a long long time. The way I see it (from my own experience) is that when you start to create a positive inner voice your negative inner voice does not like it. Your negative voice wants to be heard and wiil probably try harder and louder to be heard. Keep persevering with the positive messages to your inner self. Have you tried writing down affirmations to your inner self. I made colourful cards with different affirmations all over the house e.g. I AM LEARNING TO LIKE MYSELF, I LIKE MYSELF, I AM O.K.

I also found it useful to find a safe place (eg car, house, beach) where no one could hear me and shout "Negative voice I am not going to listen to you anymore. Go away!" or words to that effect. You may feel self-conscious at first but if you can give yourself permission to shout, you may find it therapeutic and positive the more times you practise this. Give it a go. I wish you well. We are always here to support you.

Lottie

[jsph554 in reply to Hidden]

I've never tried that before. Thank you, I'll have to try that.

[Hidden in reply to jsph554]

Good luck, we are all here for you to support you. You are doing well.

[jsph554 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your help, it means a lot.

[Hidden in reply to jsph554]

You are worth a lot, be kind to yourself, take care.