I have been struggling with depression since i was 11 years old got worse through my teenage years and horrible life events made it even worse, ive been on the brink of commiting suicide multiple times only thing that stops me is that im afraid of the physical pain, yes i care about hurting my family but i also dont because i know ill be free at last. In the past year i have taken sertraline 100mg it worked miracles i started seeing a side of myself i never saw before then it stopped working even with an increse of dosage. Tried again recently with them nothing happened.
Ive been on holiday twice in 2 weeks abroad but often found myself getting irritable, tearful and low. I get extremely paranoid of what people think of me. My family like me to be in photos but i hate myself and try to get out of them. I find myself uncontrolably laughing sometimes and happy then back to rock bottom. Could i be bipolar? No familt history of it. Im 20 years old female living in south wales but from birmingham.