Hey.

[Chloe2016]

Hey, im Chloe.. im 20 years old and have recently come out (officially) to my friends and family as gay... most have been brilliant and have accepted it and havent changed. Although there are a few 'close' friends and family who cant seem to accept this...

Ive had depression since i was 14, ive been clean from self harming for 3 years and thought my mental health was getting better, but the backlash and fall outs this has caused only seems to be making me worse..

Any advice would be brilliant!

Thanks for reading.

[Satsuma]

You are who you are. You were very brave to come out. There will always be people who won't accept it. They do not deserve to have a place in your life as you need people who will support you. Avoiding these people will help you.

[Chloe2016 in reply to Satsuma]

Thank you for your response... yeah thats what i have been doing, its just making me feel bad as its causing quite a divide in my friend and family network.. maybe its just space and time that they need. If that doesnt work then i guess a life is better to live without people in it making you feel ashamed and upset.

[Satsuma in reply to Chloe2016]

Yes Chloe2016 I agree with you

[LoriMS61]

Hi Chloe,

You have to focus on the fact that you did something wonderfully brave, and can now just be yourself. The people who stand by you are the ones that count.

What is their motivation for handling your news poorly? Are they homophobic? Or just generally afraid of what they don't understand? Do they think you are going to turn into someone they don't know? Are you sure they aren't handling it well?

Congratulations.

Xxx

[Chloe2016 in reply to LoriMS61]

Im not really sure, as i have grown up with most of my family being homophobic yet most of them have accepted it.. but like my mam for example, everytime friends or someone mentions marriage, she will always say 'yeah im sure Chloe will find a great bloke one day'.. i think it seems to be mainly out of public embarrassment more than anything. xx

[Incomplete]

Not quite the same I think but....

I am transgender. I have BPD with psychosis and Gender Dysphoria. Most of my family, including those I least expected to be accepting, have been brilliant. Accepted it and really really have tried to help. Some, such as both my parents and my siblings for the most point, act like it's a joke. Which can be hurtful and damaging, both to familial relationships, but to our physical and mental health.

My advice is really draw the hard line. Don't take it from people. It's hard (especially when young, I'm 22 and severely disabied, so trust me I know).

But really? You have to show that you won't stand for it. Draw the hard line, however hard that is. You must decide which is the most important to you, your identity, or some (by the sounds of things, few?) family/friend relationships.

Let them know your decisions, so that they have the opportunity to accept you for who you are, or walk away because you won't be who they want you to be

[Chloe2016 in reply to Incomplete]

Thanks for your response @incomplete. even though your situation isnt the same its quite similar so thanks for your advice..i know the feeling of being made to feel like the joke of the family. I dont really understand why tho as they have friends who identify as LGBTQ, yet they cant seem to just accept that its me whos 'turned'.. according to them its just a phase caused by my depression. I have mainly cut myself off from the ones who havent respected my feelings, have iscolated me and just made me feel as the joke of the family..

Thanks for your advice, i wont change who i am for other peoples satisfation x

[Incomplete in reply to Chloe2016]

This is refreshing to hear. Yes I mentioned my other conditions because that's what my family use. It's a delusion. Course, when I'm actually delusional, I'm faking it.

Which makes me laugh, as a psychologist.

[Chloe2016 in reply to Incomplete]

Ive experienced exactly the same.. it really just shows people who their real support network is.

[Ptslim_14]

The gym is a cure to eveything,go and let it out there.

[CJ2016]

I honestly wouldn't worry what other's think about your sexual orrientation,it does not define who you are,does not change who you are,it's a mere part of you. You will always have one bad apple in a basket so i really wouldn't swet over it.

If other's can not accept you for you,then obviously there is no love lost,because they were faking it the whole time,if they can't accept the fact that you love someone of the same sex,then that is their own problem not yours.

Follow your heart,and don't worry about those mindless few who still live in the stone age,it's not about gender it's not about race,it's not about religion,it's just about how you feel when your around said individual.

Being gay does not change you from who you have always been,you still breath the same air,you still eat the same food,you are still you,so as long as you stay true to you,then forget what others say or think.

[Reposting1]

Stop beating yourself, if they can't accept you its their loss . I finished at art college 20yrs ago, there were some wonderful gay people there... If they don't like it you can always tell them to piss off . Get on with it girl I think you're great WELL DONE it's a new beginning stop being negative x