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nicola1985 profile image
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Hi. I'm new here. I got diagnosed with depression a few months ago. My moods are up and down I have days where I feel on top of the world and so happy then days where I don't want to be around people and I push everyone away because I'm not good enough.

On my bad days I don't sleep and my mind races. At times I feel that the people around me would be better off without me.

I had a miscarriage in 2012 and I don't think I ever got over that.

No one around me understands what I'm going through. Any help/advice would be appreciated. Thanks for reading

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nicola1985 profile image
nicola1985
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6 Replies
Singer1234 profile image
Singer1234

Hi I totall get you sometimes I'm on top of the world and then I just sleep all day night. I tried anti depressants but they didn't work. So I just cope in my own.

IT'S really difficult as my family always give me different advise. My mum. Stops me fromgoing out to town and meeting my friends and my sister in law and brother. make fun of me for being on benefits.

You have to take control of ur life and follow one path and stay in that good state of mind. Listen to your doctor and try an exercise eat reasonably well keep your home tidy and wear nice clothes that's what I do and try and talk nice to everyone accept for those who are nasty to you then be nasty back.

Stay strong and keep ur chin up.

X

nicola1985 profile image
nicola1985 in reply to Singer1234

Hi. Thank you for your reply. I'm on anti depressants not sure whether they make me better or worse to be honest. I have the most horrendous mood swings and feel like it's never going to get any better for me.

My family have said I need to pull myself out of it but I can't and it seems so hopeless. I'm not interested in anything at the moment I'd just rather stay in bed and be on my own. Xx

Singer1234 profile image
Singer1234 in reply to nicola1985

Sleep enough but then get up and clean your home n eat if we stay in bed won't we just get more voices in our head living with voices in our head can't be normal. N then it will just grow. You are a worthy person remember that and live do what you want and not what ur family say.

nessie71 profile image
nessie71

Hi Nicola1985, firstly welcome to the forum and well done for having the courage to speak about your feelings and the things that have happened. The mood swings are part and parcel of having depression, be kind to yourself. If you don't feel like doing anything at a particular time then don't do it hun. Just take small steps at the moment it is early days, maybe you need a meds check/review to see if you need an increase or change meds altogether, one anti-depressant that suits one person may not suit another, with meds its a bit of trial and error until you find what is right for you. Have you been offered some counselling? If not maybe you could mention it to your GP if it is readily available in your area!! I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage it is awful when these things happen, I had a stillbirth at 9 months and the only way I can describe it is that you NEVER EVER get over it you just learn to live with it. I wouldn't wish anything like this on my worst enemy. If you ever need to chat you can pm me if you want a private chat but if not then that's ok too but just remember you are loved and wanted, everyone on here is great they have some good advice (as we ALL have depression or had depression) and tips on coping strategies etc. As for the certain members of your family making fun of you for being on benefits that is disgraceful some of us at one point have been on benefits or need to go on benefits for whatever reason. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of hun in fact they should be the ones who should be ashamed of themselves for being shallow and bulling you (BULLYING IS A CRIMANAL OFFENCE). I hope this helps you a little hunni. You take care and just remember I/we are all here for you. XXXX

20Voices profile image
20Voices

I sorry to hear you are going through all this. If you want to talk privately please send me a message. I have had to deal with infertility issues as well as anxiety and depression.

The advise I can give you generally is talk to your GP and also see what is on offer in your area. When I went through IVF there were groups in the area that were available for support and maybe there is something in your area. The NHS where I am offers a Stress Control workshop with is a 6 week course and I found very helpful, why not see if something like this is available in your area.

Most importantly please remember that you are not alone. Although it doesn't feel like it the people around you love you and will be worried for you. Sometimes people do and say things they think will help without realizing that you don't want or need some of the standard comments people say.

If you want to talk more, send me a message.

For sleep try setting up a sleep routine. Things like clearing your room of all electronics, no TV, no mobile phones. Clear the bedroom so that it is not cluttered. Try a nice relaxing room spare or essential oils. Lavendar is good for sleep, but some people don't like it. Go to bed at the same time every night, reduce the amount of caffeine you on a daily basis and work out if you need to stop drinking coffee at dinner time or at lunch time to help you sleep. Find a nice relaxing song, either meditation music or something soothing (I like Norah Jones or Eva Cassidy to help me sleep). There are a lot of meditation mp3s on the internet, try some of those and see if they help.

Talk on here if something is worrying you. I have details of everything I have tried in the past and would be happy to pass the ideas on to you. Don't give up if you try something and it doesn't work. Also remember if you have been feeling this way for a while it will take time to feel better, but the main thing is to start getting help and trying out techniques.

Take care and let me know if you want to talk. I am no expert, but happy to share what techniques I have in my mental health toolbox.

Rocinante profile image
Rocinante

Hello Nicola, welcome to the group. As you are newly diagnosed (a few months?) and, assuming you are in the UK, you may be experiencing regional variation in the NHS resources available. It really is a postal lottery. Please don’t walk down this path alone, seek help. The GP is the start point and I note you have been prescribed anti-depressants, but I do hope the prescription was supplementary to advice that you should talk with a counsellor. The simple fact is that 10 minutes with a sympathetic GP (let alone an unsympathetic, rushed off his feet, GP!) is not a substitute for a programme of conversations with, and guidance from, a trained counsellor. And daily pills ‘to control your anxiety’ are not a substitute for your own positive efforts to understand your feelings and then to manage them as best you can. If necessary, go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a counsellor. Help is available, but it can be a struggle to gain access.

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