Please help?

[Lilly7]

Hello

I have symptoms of depression but also bipolar. I am to scared to go to my GP in case I am being over sensitive. Mental Health are really illnesses and I would hate anyone to think I was being silly

I often feel overwhelming sense of dispair which can last weeks, then will feel fine for a couple of days then get really hyperactive; lots of shopping, reckless driving, loud - although my sleep and appetite is not affected

When I feel down, at the very worst I wish I don't wake up, other times I am not interested in anything, too sad to be bothered, cut myself off from everyone, only leave the house for work. I feel very sad almost like I could cry at the smallest thing. I look at everything negativly.

These mood swings are starting to affect people around me, especially at work where my colleagues have started to notice. I'm scared I might hurt/upset someone when I am down, which makes me feel worse.

Am I being dramatic? Is it worth going to my GP? Please could you tell me your experiences? Please be honest!

Thank you!

Lilly

[blackcat64013]

Hi Lilly7,

The journey to recovery begins with the first step, that is checking in with your doctor for a wellbeing ( physical and mental ) check up.

Your doctor is used to seeing people with mental health conditions (1 in 5 of the population has one). Imagine if you had diabetes you would see a doctor so if you have mental ill health you see a doctor too.

My tip is to book a long appointment and take some notes with you (even a copy of this blog) to get the conversation started)

Dr Google can help you research "first mental health visit to doctor".

The first time you do anything is always the scariest and most times is not as bad you imagine.

Pick up the phone and book that appointment

[Lilly7 in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you! You are right of course, I just worry that I am being sensitive and wasting my GPs time. I don't really have much confidence in my doctor and I think that is also holding me back.

Thank you for responding!

Lilly x

[blackcat64013 in reply to Lilly7]

My goodness, you are feeling just the same as most of us were before the first visit. Admitting something is not quite right and that you are possibly suffering from a mental illness is scary.

You won't know if your doctor can help you until you give him/her the opportunity.

All the best

[Lilly7 in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you!

[Carla_Jane]

Go and see your GO or if you work maybe Occupational Health. I am 31 and had depression on and off since about 14 years old. It is only now that due to a long sickness of work, and the knowledge of my Occupational Health Nurse it has been picked up I probably have bipolar not depression. I am now going through the route to diagnosis. If you aren't happy with what your GP says and you dont think they have taken you seriously then complete a timeline, a mind map, gather your evidence, go back to the GP with all your evidence and request a referral to the Mental Health Team. This is what I have done and you really need a psychiatrist not a GP. Just get all your evidence together and the GP will be less likely to decline your request. Goodluck

[Lilly7 in reply to Carla_Jane]

What symptoms did you show for your OH nurse to think you may have bipolar? If you don't mind me asking.

I will definitely be following your advice, thank you for taking the time out to write a reply - much appreciated!

[Carla_Jane in reply to Lilly7]

Well it was my sickness that made her think. She asked how far back it went and how many down episodes I have had. She also asked about my personality and I explained im normally quite loud and hyper, wbich she said was interesting. She asked me to complete a timeline and to see her a few days later. On reflection of what she had asked me I thought she was suggesting bipolar. My timeline showed me so much, and i could actually see the highs and lows and the triggers. When I went to see her she confirmed bipolar is what she was thinking and we completed a mind map. She sent a letter to my work and printed off a copy which i took to my gp along with all my evidence.

I show signs of type 2 bipolar. I often have long depression episodes. When I am good i am very good though, loud, talkative, lots of plans and hobbies (some of which are half started!), I get attached to bf' s very easily and get heartbroken just as easy. I often spend money I don't have and my mood can fluctuate during the period of a day sometimes although I know morning I am always a lot happier than evening. But everyone is different x

[Lilly7 in reply to Carla_Jane]

Thank you! I can see how a timeline helped... the mood swings are interesting as while I am not normally a loud person , when I am not down I have trillions of plans, spend a lot of money and get really excited about everything. I keep in contact with my friends, make plans to see them and do things... then I don't turn up. I stop talking to people, be nasty to everyone, take everything to heart and overreact! I usually do something irrational then feel depressed when I realise what I have done. I feel terrible for ages, to a point where I contemplate dying.

My moods also change, i can be really happy in the morning and the total opposite a few hours later.

Thank you for responding to me, I really appreciate it x

[Hidden]

Hi why not google online depression tests and see if these give you a guide? I am sure there must be some bipolar tests too.

If you aren't keen on your doctor can't you see a different one? If you are at a group surgery you can see anyone you like. Pick someone whom you think would be understanding. x

[Lilly7 in reply to Hidden]

We have locum doctors at our surgery so you can't request a doctor unfortunately. It's very difficult to get an appointment as it is, I have an allergy that was misdiagnosed because doctor didn't actually listen to what I was saying! Thank you for reading and responding x

[Carla_Jane]

On my timeline i could see relationship breakups, 8 or so jobs i quit (all in winter and I know my mood dips in the winter), all my jobs I quit after a depressive episode. I've moved house 22 times! It was all evidence to prove my mood swings and that some of my actions were completly irrational, though i could no see it before!

[Pandorasbox]

Hi?every thing u've said I can relate to but please don't think ur being silly. If ppl are starting to see a change in u then it's time to see ur GP. This weekend take some time if u can n write everything down everything u've put in ur post n more. Good luck (u are not alone)

[Lilly7 in reply to Pandorasbox]

Thank you!

[Pandorasbox in reply to Lilly7]

Ur vry welcome lilly7. Please seek help. Last Fri I took breakdown after 4 days without sleep. I was so bad a vry nice neighbour helped n got emergency Dr appt. I was hallucinating n it was vry scarey. Once at Drs I said to Debs let's just go I'm probably alrite n just bein stupid. She wud not let me go. I can't thank her enough as I have isolated myself to the extent I hardly kno anyone n I've been here for 9yrs. Now I have an urgent psychiatrist appt ?? On the 18th of Oct thank God it wasn't non urgent probably next year bfore appt came. I'm starting to rant a bit , so u take care n goodluck

[Findingme]

Please don't take this has wrong way, but I wonder how many people get into the habit of taking on too much then collapse with exhaustion, because society tells us we can have it all. The no limits lifestyle is bad for those without s structured life. Living by certain rules, such as set bedtimes, limited going out, keeping to s budget, etiquette of sticking to your plans rather than letting people down etc, would help stop this pattern. Ok , some people have bipolar and maybe are truly unable to control themselves, but I bet nationally levels of mental health would be so much better if we followed a more structured lifestyle. There is so much temptation though, with 24 hr to and internet and so much choice and also so much pressure to succeed. It is not what our bodies and minds have been designed for.