Death: Do you ever get stuck on why we... - Mental Health Sup...

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Death

cinnamonapple89 profile image
13 Replies

Do you ever get stuck on why we need to die? I'm seeing on facebook that someone around my age had a heart attack and it's just bringing death closer and closer. I can't escape it. I think about death all the time. I can't see guns, I can't see violence, I can't see violent video games.

It's scary. Every few seconds I think "I could die right now" "i can die right now" "my scheduled time to die could be XYZ".

I don't know how other people are so ok with death and accepting over when/how they die. It's like what's this all about if you created all this, the ability to procreate, the ability to LIVE...and then you die. And then??? And then it's like why do some babies not make it out the womb. Why do people die more violently than others? I believe something is after this. Because if life is possible, anything is possible. I just don't know if that place beyond here is going to be better or worse. I don't know if when I die i'm still "myself" or if I just get born anew.

This is a very scary, dark, depressing period i'm in. I have never thought these thoughts before at length, before a few months ago. Now it's ALL I can think about.

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cinnamonapple89 profile image
cinnamonapple89
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13 Replies
RoboMark profile image
RoboMark

Yes, any of us could die at any time. In fact, the whole world could come to an end tomorrow. Is that something that should concern us? Not really. It's not depressing, it's just nature, the way things are.

There is a very good reason for death - without it, there would be no life. The simplest organisms would have swamped the earth millions of years ago, nothing would have evolved beyond the primordial slime and we wouldn't be here now. So death is a very necessary part of life. Just imagine if no-one died - there would be 120 billion people on earth right now! (except most would have starved to death anyway as the planet couldn't support that many). So death is unavoidable whichever way you look at it. It's just sad when people die before their allotted span, and that never seems right but it happens.

I think about death every day, but for me, because my life is not good, death does not seem to be a bad thing. The fact that death scares you must mean your life has some meaning to you, so that's something to be positive about.

But if you are getting fixated on death, then that can be a problem. You only need to think about your death when it's time to make a will and put your affairs in order for those you leave behind. Apart form this - there's just no point dwelling on it. Focus on something else whenever the thoughts start, anything to take your mind away from this. It's important not to get obsessed about anything you can't change.

As for what follows, I always think of this - 'The undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveller returns...' That says it all for me.

cinnamonapple89 profile image
cinnamonapple89 in reply to RoboMark

Thank you for your reply! I totally understand what you're saying and in my heart I know there's no need to dwell on the inevitable, but telling my brain not to think about it is another story. I'm surrounded by death it seems. I do international marketing for music, so I travel and go to shows...among other things. The shootings and bombings at concert halls that I frequent. The fact that before to not hear the bad news that is "the news", you just simply didn't turn the news on. Now it's EVERYWHERE. I can't escape it. And then on a Facebook there's a different "RIP" post everyday. I'm trying to power through because as we both know, that's all I can do. But it's proving very hard for me to get past.

RoboMark profile image
RoboMark in reply to cinnamonapple89

I think nowadays we tend to think of death in a rather abstract way, a bit sanitized, like it's something that only happens to other people. Then when we start seeing people being killed on every TV screen and news feed, it becomes very real and makes us feel vulnerable. Despite only a handful of people being killed by these wanton acts of mindless violence, because we see the same things over and over again, with everyone talking about it, it can seem like we are living in the middle of a warzone. Dreadful though these acts are, and terrible as it is for those actually affected, we do need to keep a sense of perspective. If it's any help, just remember that the chances of anyone being shot or blown up, in peacetime, are extremely small.

CJ2016 profile image
CJ2016

Without Death would we as a species apperciate life? even now,as death is all around us be it natural or not,there are some that still do not apperciate life, even with the fact that they will eventually die.

Personally the thought of living forever would suck,just like everything else we are just not designed to live forever,humans die,animals die,and planet's die,eventually the earth will die.

I sure as hell don't want to be around when that happens.Also once the Human species is no more,whats it to say that a new form of species wil not evolve from what we once were. It's just the way life works.

We Give Life,We Live Life,And Then We Die.

And the cycle will repeat and repeat and repeat,the hardest thing about death,is not the fact that one day we will all meet are demise,but the fact that we have to say goodbye sometimes we do not have that chance.

Saying goodbye to someone you love,someone that has been in your life for so many years,who has given you advice has wiped away your tears,and made you feel safe,that is the hardest thing about death.

I don't fear my own death,i fear the death of those that i love,but if everyone lived forever the planet would not cope,and we would become like a bunch of tinned sardines.

My grandfather died when he was 49,he was in his bedroom and just dropped dead,his sister was putting washing out on the line,she dropped dead,my uncle was walking out to the car,he dropped dead,when i was in school a 17 year old boy fit as anything,played sports regular etc etc was coming home from a game,he dropped dead.

We can not avoid death,and if we spent are whole lifes worried about death or when death will come for us,then we will forget the most important part of life,and that's living,even when we are down and out,when we are at the bottom of the barrell,in the gutter,struggling to swim from the deep end of the stormy ocean.

We manage to float for a while even when we sink again,we always find a way back to the surface,and that's life,nothing is easy,if it was easy there would be no point in feeling any emotion because we would just be immortal zombies without any real reasons to make the most of what we have during are time on this earth.

I never planned for my future because i always hoped that i would die young,my ideal scenario was to join the military,and die,but that never happened,even now i think of dying nearly every day,i think of every method that i could take to escape this world,but i am still here.

I don't live for my self, i live for the people around me,my family,if you don't have that,then you find something to live for,even in the darkest of places you will find a tiny light,be it a size of an ant,any light is better then complete darkness while we spend are days breathing.

Do not fear death,fear humanities inability to love one another,and inability to see past,gender,relgion,race,species,or male that love males and females that love females.

Because in the end,we all end up the same way,and none of the above will differentiate are fate.

chrisb63 profile image
chrisb63

Hi to be preoccupied with death and thoughts of death is a classic symptom of depression and usually major depression.

I used to spend my time on the internet browsing things like famous deaths and graveyards and the details to go with that. Very morbid.

I have since come out of this depression quite a bit and am no longer preoccupied with death at all.

Have you seen or under the guidance of a Doctor as that would be my first port of call in your shoes.

cinnamonapple89 profile image
cinnamonapple89 in reply to chrisb63

Thank you for your reply :) -

I'm on 2 antidepressants and have a therapist. I don't feel the therapist is helping with my existential/death thoughts though. Because in the end I know that she can't tell me anything to soothe me either. And sometimes I feel like whoever I try to speak to about this is now getting depressed and starting to think about it from me freaking out over it.

I would agree that I'm in a deep depression. Deeper than I have ever been in my life and I've been clinically depressed for at LEAST 10 years. I'm 28.

I'm trying to get myself out. I just don't know what to do anymore. The feeling of inevitable doom is just all around me.

chrisb63 profile image
chrisb63 in reply to cinnamonapple89

Have you tried anything else except antidepressants and therapy?

cinnamonapple89 profile image
cinnamonapple89 in reply to chrisb63

What else did you have in mind? I'm going to take a harder stab at meditation. I usually get frustrated and give up because I feel my brain doesn't quiet down. I know that's the point of reaching that place that is "quiet", but it's just hard for me to sit without stimulation. I have crystals, I have prayer beads and a singing bowl that make me feel secure - when i'm at home anyway. Is there anything else that has helped you that you want to share?

chrisb63 profile image
chrisb63 in reply to cinnamonapple89

Yes Ive tried and used: deep breathing (which really quietens your Brain and mind down) done properly has a major influence and benefit on major depression. Or a diet rich in Omega 3's or mild aerobic exercise, a plant based diet and others, which have all helped.

abirke profile image
abirke

Death may or may not have only a brief hold on us....that hold is the passing of our bodies to our spiritual realm. As the Bible states, we make the choice which realm we want to exist in. The realm where God exists (heaven) or the one where He does not (Hell) . Death is inevitable; Where we spend eternity is inevitable only by the choice we make in this life. Most of us do not want to spend it in Hell (think of a small child separated from their parents among strangers in a crowded unfamiliar place...forever). Most of us want to spend it in a safe happy place [Where we are with our Heavenly Father].

If you get in touch with your spiritual self through the love of God. Death will no longer be fearful. How do you get int touch with this spiritual self? (Glad you asked)

Believe-Have faith in Christ John 8:24, Hebrews 11:1;6

Repent of your sins: Luke 13#; Acts 17:30

Confess Jesus Christ as your Savior: Matthew 10:32-33; Romans 10:9-10

Be Baptized (Immersed) for the remission of sins Mark 16:16; Acts 2:38

Walk in His steps Daily Colossions 2:6; 1John7

I hope this helps. My husband died in March of PSP, a brain disease. I miss him dearly but my faith knows that he is with the Lord; this has been our final goal all of our married life. We knew what was at the end of the earthly road and looked forward to our eternity . I pray that you find your spiritual self so that death no longer has any power over you. In the mean time think/pray on these things:

Romans 6:8-11

Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, is never to die again; death no longer is master over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God.read more.

Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

In Christ,

AVB

jrcnpg profile image
jrcnpg in reply to abirke

Heaven is a place which exists only in the minds of those who cannot come to terms with their own mortality. In these days how on earth can anyone, no matter what has been said and experienced, believe in something so obtuse as god? When Nietzsche said 'God is dead' he was talking about the power of self-belief and not any ontological construct. In one of her diaries Sylvia Plath wrote 'I talk to God but the sky is empty' which is a perfect sentence directed towards those who wish to have Faith but do not have Faith. Such things are overwhelmingly descriptive of any religions purpose and power which is strengthening these days and with a violent streak not seen since, perhaps, the Knights Templar who went into hiding.The other day I was speaking with a good friend of mine and somehow the subject of our conversation fell into religion and I, rather flippantly, remarked 'Religions ought to be banned' and my friend, without a moment's hesitation, remarked that people NEED religion so that the tough business of being a human being can be given to God, Jesus, whoever, and they will be taken to paradise one day. ONE DAY. That suits me fine. Sunday Christians. Voltaire remarked that 'God is a comedian whose audience are too frightened to laugh at him', these comments could go on forever and will never change anyone's mind and so let me apologise to those people now or I will be deluged with emails wanting me dead!

abirke profile image
abirke

Well my fellow human, I do not want you dead, infact, though I do not share the same precepts as you, I respect that you have them....Nietzsche, Voltaire Plath and many other humans will all have words. God will have the last!

AVB

mysmugcat profile image
mysmugcat

Yes and have for years. Sadly I was also with my partner who died almost seven weeks ago from cancer. I guess we have to live our life. Our time is not up yet. I try to help others in my job or on here.

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