I can't keep doing this!!!

[Inbits]

I'm writing this because I'm in such a mess and I don't want to face my mistakes from last night again!!! I just don't understand why I'm such a degenerate when all I want is a simple happy honest life. I have so much going for me if I could just focus but I can't. For many years about 10 I've gambled and taken cocaine. Now I've lied to girlfriend lost my wages this week and suffering a come down trying to make out I'm just tired Again!! I don't know what to do and I'm at the stage where I don't want to die but i dont want to be here anymore.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Inbits,

Welcome to our supportive community, where you will find folks here will share similar experiences to yourself. It sounds like you really need to seek professional medical/psychological help to sort this out. Maybe it's time to take responsibility and control of your situation. Gambling, like alcohol, is addictive and needs specialist help and support to overcome addictive behaviours.

You don't indicate in your profile where you live, so it is hard to suggest any organisations that may help you. Do a Google search for therapies targetted towards addiction and gambling in your region.

Check out our Pinned post section at our free, downloadable mental health guides and our International crisis support helplines.

Do keep in touch. Ok, folks please pop by and welcome this new member on board.

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse and Moderator

[Hidden]

Your life is in your hands, as explained by MAS read topics and inserts. Consider talking to your GP He will assist in arranging treatment plan for you. In fact there are various charities out there that should help with your Drug Addiction. For Gambling there are sites in the UK that deal with gambling, Gambling Anonymous should be able to help, again your GP will be able to put you in contact with those who can help and move you on.

You seem to be trying to help yourself at this time, all I can suggest in you follow instruction from those who care. Be strong, you know those needs, go for them. Only you can move on in your live, take on that responsibility

BOB

[Hidden]

I wanted to say welcome to you.

You are realising you would like to reach out for help by the sound of it..you’ve started by reaching out here..take that a step further..and reach out to one of the organisations that could help and support you..you can be free of those things that make life so so difficult and you deserve to be able to live life not just survive life.

Take care xxx

[hypercat54]

Hi nice to meet you. I am a bit confused by your post as you say you want to lead a 'simple, happy, honest life' but then you behave dishonestly to your gf by lying! The two don't go together so why not start by being honest with her? Only you can change and have the sort of life you want. Are you having any counselling as this could help point you in the right direction. x

[Inbits in reply to hypercat54]

I have had some councelling with regards to gambling but it helps for a while then I always slip back into same routine. I have never addressed the cocaine because I have children with my ex and the last thing I want is her having another excuse to try and stop me seeing them. I'm so ashamed I haven't been able to kick these addictions. I lost my family because of them. You would think after losing the most precious things in my life I might learn from it. But it's destroyed me even further. Now my lovely girlfriend is seeing through all the cracks. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. It was only last week I did the same. I need urgent help! I was considering commiting a crime to try retrieve the money that I desperately need that I lost on poker last night. I don't want to. It's not me. Ive always grafted but the cocaine and gambling has turned me into God knows what?!

[hypercat54 in reply to Inbits]

Whatever you do don't commit a crime as this will only add insult to injury! It is because of your gambling and cocaine habit that you are behaving in such a way, so the answer has to be tackling these. Only then can you have a chance of leading an honest happy life.

My advice is to go back to counselling for your gambling and seek long term support so it helps you not to slip back into it. I know they do this with alcoholic dependency so they might do with gambling.

As for the cocaine why not seek help for this too? Does anyone have to know about it unless you tell them? These are both messing with your head and stopping you from leading the life you want. I would stop papering over the cracks with your gf as there is nothing more us woman hate than dishonesty or lies. If you tell her the whole truth you have more chance of her wanting to stay with you. She might not of course, but walk away but from the sound of it she will do eventually anyway. Enlist the help and support of your gf and get her behind you. This has to be your decision of course but unless you start making some changes then nothing will change will it. Start with practising being the person you want to be. x

[Inbits]

Thank you to take the time to reply and offer some great advice.

[Celtic27]

Hi in bits your definately having problems the first thing you Need to do is be honest with your partner and ask for her help as the next stage will need her help! You need to ask for help with your addictions namely your drug and gambling problems and that's just the start! Have you seen your doctor about how you feel you sound to me as if you are having fleeting thoughts of suicide if I'm right please get to your doctor now don't worry about what he may say just reach out and ask for help! I've felt like you at times but I asked for the right help and whilst I still feel down occasionally I'm better than I was! Take care it you want to let me know how you're getting on please do! 🐇

[Inbits]

I worry about admitting to anyone especially doctor about my cocaine addiction. I am on antidepressants and when I speak with doctor I always put it to him like it's the gambling I struggle with but in all honesty it always starts with the cocaine and then I lose control and lose touch with concquence. Every time I tell myself that's it it has to stop and Every time I fail. Ive let to many people down and now in my newish relationship 2 years I'm falling apart again! You see I'm having a battle with ex over seeing my children and last thing I want is doctor writing it down on record.of cocaine user even know I really need the help.

[6ixtyon1]

Time for a change and some good professional second opinions...maybe these issues stem from an emotional event that you are blocking...? I have 2 friends going through something similar. Don't beat yourself up, but be honest about where you are and where you wish to go. You need support, right now, to make that first step...don't wait. Your life is worth it...blessings and good luck.