Helping a loved one through depression

[Illicitphobia]

I wanted to seek some advice on this because I'm struggling and I want to be as supportive and helpful as I can.

I suffer from very bad anxiety, depression and dissociation which I'm now treating with medication. A month ago my partner got told he couldn't join the army (which was his life plan) and he as tumbled into a pit of depression. He been hurting himself and been suicidal, drinking a lot and often lashing out at me only to apologise over and over again afterwards. Hes now at YMCA after leaving home cos he hated it there and it seems to has escalated his depression. We try and talk every day though often it leads to us apologising, me for not being able to help more and him for me feeling empty being away from him. Few days ago he stopped messaging me randomly and won't even look at the messages I send him. Hes posted on Tumblr that he's been super depressed for days and wants to die.

I'm trying to be as supportive as I can and I do not want to leave him. I'm trying to priorities my own life, since I have work experience and other things to do. But I feel so useless and it hurts me so much seeing him like this. I wanted to know if there is any advice you can give me to help ease the affect it has on me or to help him.

[Toci]

Hi. You say you are undertaking work experience. Does this mean you are still at school? Can I ask how old you are?

[Illicitphobia in reply to Toci]

I'm 18.

[Toci in reply to Illicitphobia]

I think it's great that you are being supportive while your partner is having a tough time but don't let this support drag you down. There is a line between being supportive and being a doormat. Good luck.

[candy1203]

Personally as someone going through depression I would say make sure that he knows he is loved and that he is not alone. I don't know about him but for me something that triggered my depression was being lonely and not having anyone who actually understands me.

[candy1203]

Or you should just ask him what is wrong with him. Is it loneliness, helplessness, angry, sad. Try to get to the root of the problem and you can work from there. Let me know if it works xx