A life with no friends and stressfull job

Dont really know where to start

Being in my 30s iv battled depression on and off over the years most of the time due to being lonely having no friends.

Recently work has got really stressfull with a build up over a year its finally boiled over and for the last 4months iv had anxiety and depression which i cant kick. I dont really know what to do or who to turn to. I have a family who love me to bits but with work stressinge out and having no friends im lost. I just need some theraphy but friends theraphy but at my age its so hatd to find new friends.

I wake up anxious and throughout the day it turns in to sadness and grief and the day ends in depression

I cant seem to get out my head

17 Replies

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  • Hi there and a warm welcome to you. This is a friendly Forum where you can be sure to find members that will support you and offer a wealth of information. While you wait for replies, please read our Community Guidelines on the right hand side of this page, under pinned posts, thank you.

    Chloe

  • Hey .

    Have you tried or been offered anything like cognitive behavioural therapy to try and stop that cycle you mentioned?

    Also for talking about it or making new friends are there any support groups nearby? The charity Mind maybe able to help put you in touch with one or your GP may know of local ones. ☺

  • Hi, I total understand what u are feeling. I'm in the same situation! It's really hard find good friends with our age. I been feel lost, sad,....,sometimes I feel happy with no reason. But the trigger for my situation is dint have any friends. No one born to live alone. It's really sad. I'm sorry I'm not a good help... But at least now you now u r not alone. In some other town is a girl in the same situation. Lots of love and light.... Good vibes

  • Hi thank you for your reaponse. Its crazy feeling like this is almost feels like you are the only person in the world to feel like this. Some days i lose hope

    I can never see me having friends i just need to give the hope up so that way i can be content with not having friends

  • Hi there. I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time.

    You need to see a psychiatrist to get yourself on meds. You also need therapy so that you can be taught to get out of your own head and deal with stress.

    Consider downloading the app called 'MeetUp'. There you'll find details of social groups with a broad range of interests. Hopefully you'll find one in your area.

    Please don't despair. Help IS available.

    Best wishes.

  • Thank you for your response im waiting for a reffereal to get councselling

    Am just afraid of taking medication i dont want to be hooked for life on meds or end up worse on meds

  • You won't get hooked an anti-depressants. When the time comes to wean off them, it will be done very slowely. You will start off on a low dosage and then build up over time if necessary. And yes, most of these meds have side-effects but they DO lessen and then disappear.

    Please go and see a psychiatrist or GP and talk with them about your med concerns.

    Best

  • Im just scared to be honest il get hooked

  • The best thing I did was join Rock Choir. Walking into the room with 72 strangers was one of the most scarey things I have done, but we were all strangers. Now I am part of a group of people that meet once a week, sing our socks off and sometimes giggle our pants off as well. Can I sing, hmmm... doubtful but there is no audition and the best of all is you sing all the rock songs that you sing in the car and in the shower. We are doing Living On a Prayer by Bon Jovi and it is awesome. Just google it to see if there is a group near you, your first taster session is free, then there are charges for the rest of the term it works out at about £7 per session but it is the best £7 I spend in a week. The happy chemical rush I get after is fantastic, and sometime my face aches because I have been laughing so much. There are obviously other choirs if you know you can sing, but most will have auditions. I know that I can't really sing properly, but shower and car singing is fine for rock choir! 😁

  • Thank you iv been looking for groups online its just hard to find one local and but i will keep trying and thank you for your response

  • hi ,

    like another friend said previously on this site to you , register with "Meet up" groups site . They will e-mail you a weekly calendar of events/ get together various activities in your area and locally . It would be a nice thing for you to go out a bit after work or week ends and socialise/ mix with other people your age or older (cycling, walking, tennis, boxing, arts, dancing, talks, chats over tea/coffee/drinks, etc....)

    I am lucky, where I live I can go to free classical music concerts (in church/you don't have to be religious, its just a venue) once or twice a week during term time (sometimes evenings or Saturdays) . Singing too is a great stress relief (never mind how badly you or I sing . Pracice makes perfect , no? ) TRy keeping a diary about how you feel and why .

    I agree with you that having no friends (real) and being lonely (despite your loving family) and feeling inadequate & rotten does make you depressed . Its been my case for ages and I thought I would get used to it but it actually got worse for me as years flew by . Remember we are all different . I guessbeing muslim further complicates matters for you . Have you tried connecting with young muslim groups in your area who might understand you better and maybe help ?

    Don't despair! Be patient and kind with you . Hope its just one o those short awful phases and you will get better soon . Take care. Just keep opening up and talking . cecilia13

  • Thank you for taking your time to reply

    I will have a look at that site and iv tried connecting with people but nothing ever happens if it does i have to be the one to initiate contact and i feel a burden as i get the feeling they dont want to be there so i stay on my own.

  • hi,

    in some cultures the emphasis is only on family, family, family ! and the pressures and expectations are different from western society like UK . Very tricky to navigate as one cannot please everybody , and why should you not please yourself ?

    I guess you are a bit shy and introverted. Nothing wrong with it . For years I desperately tried to fit in and though I have learnt about social skills I am still on my own and rather depressed about it . Maybe one day I will just accept it and move on with my life . My dream is to travel the world and discover new horizons and meet lots of different warm people . Never too late to be an international backpacker, no ?

    Remember the saying " people !! you cant live with them and you cant live without them!! " A sobering thought .

    Forget about being perfect . Nobody is except liars and fools . There will always be taboos though more & more stuff are now public/aired out , so that's a step forward . When I tried discussing my depression my family thought I was "crazy" or that I was a drama queen looking for extra attention or that I was just talking rubbish .

    Not to worry, you are stlill young and financially independent (please think 2 before dumping your job as you might bitterly regret it later) and I hope feeling alittle bit better . Take care . cecilia13

  • Could you join a Muslim dating site and meet a nice girl with your background?

    You mention grief

    If something happened to cause these feelings could you receive bereavement or some other counselling?

    Your name starts with your faith which must be important to you

    Is there an elder of your faith you could seek advice from?

    I'm a different faith to you, (i'm Jewish), but recognise the affinity/empathy/ sustenance that comes from your own traditions/beliefs

    Hope you receive the advice,help and support you need.

  • Depression is still a tabboo issue with in my community and speaking to elders will

    Lead to whispers amongst the community and i dont want my family to find out i just want battle this on my own as i dont have any friends my faith is what keeps me going even though im struggling.

    As for dating sites everyone writes stuff to make them sound perfect i for one aint perfect and probably wouldnt get very far.

    Thank you for your reply

    God being god say a little pray for me

  • productivemuslim.com/depres...

    If you could google 'depression in the Muslim community' you'd find many helpful posts

  • Of course i'll include you in my daily prayers

    God is all loving, all wise

    Wants us to receive all blessings

    May you receive yours..at the right time :-)

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