I feel so low these days . Couldn't able to cope up with studies and other acticites

I'm a student . My father passed away when I was 14 and now I'm 19 still couldn't get back from the loss. I have a younger brother . My mom's a working woman . These days I've been so much into a state of restlessness . I'm not able to cope up with my studies and scoring pretty low . Although, I've been doing great till my 12th , soon after joining engineering I've lost interest on studies. I love music and always has this feeling of becoming a good singer but the things in my life kept overlapping. I'm so depressed and there's no one whom I can share . Even if I share they think I'm in search of pity. What do i do ?

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  • Hello there saahith_ravinder

    Welcome to our friendly Forum here on Action on Depression. Please read our Community Guidelines on the right hand side of this page, many thanks.

    Chloe

  • Are you talking to your university/Tec counsellor? I went off the radar at college at 19 (I'm 28 now, I still have depression, I've always had it, but I have faith in myself and I've had this monkey my whole life, it's made me an artist and given me the drive to train to be a psychotherapist) in my first term at uni my granda and uncle died within months of each other and my parents separated. My counsellor gave me options to help pace my studies and helped me communicate with my tutors and resolve unrealised emotions.

    Sing. Don't worry about the "becoming", live in the now. Maybe when you get your inner strength back you could join a community, be it an amateur stage company or a pop/rock group and connect with people who enjoy doing what you do, and enjoy it.

    There's a lot of change when we go to college and it's a huge transition, between childhood and adulthood but you're still young, don't put pressure on yourself to know your future and chase it down. Just be open to life, including your emotions and feelings, and who knows where it may take you. As the student maybe you feel you need to achieve highly to look after your mum and brother, at least that's how I felt because my dad was so unhappy I thought if I can make enough money I could buy him the house in France he's always wanted. But I learned I was only human, and the only thing my dad really wanted or needed from me was someone to talk to. It took me years after this to realise how lonely my mum was behind the hard exterior but now we get on better too and I have realised she no longer cares so much about my achievements and only wants me to be happy, constantly sending me info about the new superfoods and books to cure depression, which I don't believe in but I thank her because it's her way of trying to understand me. We've a bit to go in our relationship but since I stood up for myself and stopped hiding my true emotions and neuroticism/depression (and I had a lot of stigma at the start, a whole lot) she's allowed her wall to drop and for the first time ever is showing her emotion and confiding in me more.

    These are the things school doesn't prep you for but your instincts and emotions will keep you. Never be afraid to admit you're struggling to family or friends or tutors, because it's a symbol of true strength and you'll be respected for it.

    I found art therapy helpful. If you like singing there's creativity in you so maybe it's something to consider (although even if you can't draw a squiggly line you can do art therapy! There are music therapies available also if this is more your style. They're great for channelling complex feelings into something you can work with). Journaling can be very good too. Even if you're heads in a fog, just writing "I can't think straight," or anything at all can lead to clearer thinking and better concentration.

    I can tell you're a wonderful and caring person from how you write, reach out and the good people you need in your life will reach back.

    Xx

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