I feel so low

[Abbi1960]

I want to shut out the whole world. My ex husband is playing up and it's near the anniversary of my fathers death. My feeling are so on the edge that I feel I am going to implode, what can I do to control this

[Biggles22]

Problem solving, mindfulness, Headspace

[Abbi1960 in reply to Biggles22]

Thank you it's not in my ability

[Hidden]

You need help to move on, Christmas is a rotten time if you have a loss in your family, your Father. If you are also having problems as well with your husband it may be an idea to discuss this with CAB and ask for advice.

If He is Stalking or similar it may help to have words with the Police as your Ex could be breaking the Law.

BOB

[Abbi1960 in reply to Hidden]

My ex husband likes to play mind games as he knows I have depression so he finds ways to let me know he is still there and knows where I live. If he came anywhere near the house I would call the police.

[Abbi1960]

What does that mean

[Abbi1960]

Am trying very hard to calm down have had a shed load of pills and now started on the alcohol. Why can't I be strong and say he doesn't bother me. We have been divorced for 17 yrs, I don't want to feel like my life is out of control like I did when we where married

[WhiteAlice]

I know what it's like to have a rotten ex. I'm working on leaving a bad relationship now. Part of my anxiety over it is my ex finding out that I'm on my own. He's an evil thing. He works hard at hurting people. He always seems to know how far he can go before either getting caught or wriggling out of it legally. Don't let yours get you ina fix. If he's tormenting you, he's the one with the problem. Try to keep yourself safe. Don't answer the phone, door, or texts from him. Delete his emails witbout openibg them. Then block him on your enails & phone! As for your father's death anniversary, try to spend some quiet moments remembering him. I miss my mom terribly this time if year. I had her cremated and I pat the jar with her ashes and share a few thoughts with her. Hang in there. You are not alone.

[Hidden]

My ex was horrible and he abused me in every way thinkable so much so the police recently wanted me to press charges criminally. But we have a daughter together and I don't ever want her to find out the extent of what happened. I don't want him near her either as he was abusive towards her as a newborn then I left. He still trys to abuse me from a distance and comes and goes off the scene. Cut all contact with him and try to rebuild your life bit by bit. If I can do it anyone can and break free of the hold he has over you. Its for your own survival mentally. You are worth a lot more, you may not believe it but you are. Also my dad died on the 12th January years ago and this time of year is always tough so I understand what that's like x

[Abbi1960 in reply to Hidden]

My ex wasn't allowed to know where I lived, but a friend of mine said she would forward any mail. When the children where young if they wanted to talk to him then I would call him as I am ex directory but then he upset them and they didn't ask to contact him. He wouldn't send Christmas cards to my friend he waited until he found out where I lived, that was scarey as I thought he might turn up. But he didnt, it was just to say "I know where you are" all a part of the mind game thing.o well I have prattled on for long enough.

[Hidden in reply to Abbi1960]

I would just set up a royal mail re delivery service for mail. They have ways of finding out though I know. Cut contact with the friend. She shouldn't be giving away details like that especially if she knows what he is like. Also don't go on the public registry vote as they can track you doing a search online. He sounds horrible just like my ex and believe me you have to set your mind free of him. It's all intimidation to make you feel insecure and crappy x

[Abbi1960 in reply to Hidden]

My friend would never betray my trust. He found out by other means, I think he contacted the school.

[Satsuma]

Gosh just what is it with evil exes .. Seems they are more rife than what I thought .. It is not just me who has one .. They really are in a league of their own. Has well put me off another relationship .. I am safer single. They pry on us as apparently we have low self esteem and low confidence suffering from a mental illness. Our vulnerability shines through and they prey on this

[Hidden in reply to Satsuma]

That's so true. I met mine at my lowest point and had a breakdown. They are like leeches lol

[Satsuma in reply to Hidden]

Yes then they suck u dry in many ways .. They know what they are doing

[WhiteAlice]

It's not even low self esteem they sense in us. It's their own, low self esteem. Instead of identifying it and dealing with it, they try to beat it into us! Some if them are like soul eaters. They are attracted to the good things in us, but do everything in their power to punish us for being good, until we are sad & miserable. Then they point at us and tell us how pathetic we are.

[Hidden in reply to WhiteAlice]

They have a particular type though that's for sure. My ex goes from woman to woman treating them like dirt and moves areas all over the country so his behaviour is masked. Police here for years didn't even link networks or areas. So my ex got away with loads over the years to many women. He will never change though. Once you get past the sob storys from them to make you feel sorry for them, the hate kicks in and it's time to leave and never ever go back. They manipulate you in every way possible. I wasn't even allowed to close a door when I went to the bathroom that's how controlling he was and he would grab me and not take no for an answer even when I was in the bath. If I did close and lock the door he would smash the door down. He would regulary spike my drinks and sleep with me and laugh about it the next day. I would wake up bruised having no clue what had happened. He was a total nutter! And I am someone who has suffered from mental health problems. I don't purposely hurt other though or try to destroy them. He was also physically abusive, call me names. He used to flick knives up into my face. I was really scared of him and heavily pregnant. I knew it was never going to be easy getting rid of him and I was right. When I did leave he threw our baby daughter across a room. All reported to police. He then took me to the family courts for 4 years for contact to our daughter and manipulated the woman he had moved in with to think it was all lies by me, but it was all an act. Another of his exs gave evidence and he had done the same to her. Spiked her drinks and raped her, strangled her.

[WhiteAlice in reply to Hidden]

Oh dear God! I'm so glad you got away from that! Mine was much sneakier. He bought weapons that would not set off metal detectors, glow in the dark work sticks, a lock pick kit, & he liked to hang around the local college campus. I think I caught him before he could unfold THAT plan. WTH is wrong with these people? They come in to your life telling you you're the best thing that ever happened to them. Then they let their evil selves out. Like I said, the one I'm leaving now is ill & I don't think he wants to be as abusive as he gets, but my ex worked hard at it. Ugh!! We all deserve better.

[Hidden in reply to WhiteAlice]

Oh yes they tread a very fine line so that they don't get caught. Think that's half the reason they go for ladies with depression or anxiety as they can also make you and others believe that you are the crazy one when it's actually them! Good luck to you with your current partner, you have to think of your own happiness also. They always make out they don't mean it though x

[Satsuma]

Mark my words they will all come undone you know peeps .. What goes around comes around and oh yes it will bite them alllll so so hard .

Just deserts on the menu for them will be served very cold hahaha hahaha