Not coping being alone

Hi, I'm new to this & I hope someone can help me, I first started with depression when I lost my dad, I had berevement counselling & anti depressents, I battled through and learned to cope & weaned off the pills, then I lost my mum after I'd nursed her through cancer for 8 months, inbetween that I got divorced, but then started seeing george.... someone I'd known for years as a friend and fell for him, he is my rock and we married 2 years ago after being together for 10 yrs,now is his daughter who lives in australia has cancer and is having surgery & he's gone out there (I can't get time off work) to be with her & help her, He's been gone a month and won't be back home for another couple of months, my problem?..... I can't cope without him, we are very close, I can't concentrate on anything, I don't want to do anything, I'm not eating or sleeping & start crying randomly, It's a horrible nightmare for me and I'm just wishing the miserable days away so i can go to bed & chalk another day off

5 Replies

  • HI georgeswife

    Welcome to Action on Depression. Ours is a friendly Forum and we're pleased you've found us. Please read the Community Guidelines on the right hand side of this page under pinned posts while you await replies, thank you.


  • Hi , I lost my Mum who I was very close to last year(29th March) then in November I lost my Dad (we had just started to get closer IO had not seen him in 40 years then met up again 13 years ago) I think I can say I know how you are feeling? I did not have bereavement counselling as I cant stand shrinks they try to make things suit their needs imho, I have found using Skype to speak to my Grown up children and grandchildren helps me through a lot of things! I am agoraphobic so dont go out unless I really have to and thats if I have someone who understands my Panic attacks! IF you are able to go out then there are many groups that are specifically for those who have suffered bereavement! I am not an emotional type of person so even though inside I weep my family think I am Cold! as I dont show my "Perceived" weaknesses Emotion! I truly feel for you and hope someone gives you the support you need!

  • Delzek life is nothing without emotion. It is empty and worthless and just living life by numbers. I understand where you are coming from as I try to numb myself against the pain too much as well, but at least I do understand that blocking emotions can lead to all sorts of psychological problems - maybe even your agoraphobia?

    A good counsellor can help you to retrain your emotions and to learn to manage them so that you can lead a healthier and more productive life.

    The downside of course is that emotions can be extremely painful and not everyone can stand the pain of having to go through them to come out the other side. I have partially done it so can lead a relatively normal life, but I still have some very deep ones I bury which does have a detrimental effect on my life, and always will. x

  • You've been through a lot of grief. Your husband became your main support network person. Right now, he needs for you to be his. Check in with him when you can. A couple with a close relationship can maintain that closeness from a distance. Try to keep busy. Prepare for his return. I'll add my prayers to yours that his daughter does well with the surgery. Then his return will be a celebration. If not, be prepared to take George in your arms and help him carry his grief. While he's gone, stay in touch with us. You are not alone and your pain is familiar to the group.

  • Sorry Georgeswife I didn't mean to hijack your post. Haven't you both got computers and can't you Skype each other. I know this is not the same as having your partner there in person, but it's much better than nothing. Try and keep yourself as busy as possible and before you know it he will be home again. x

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