How to help a friend...?

[LilMini]

A really good friend of mine has suffered a really bad leg injury and has become really depressed as he's normally a very active person, I made the mistake of having a go at him (I didn't know how bad things were for him as we hadnt spoken in a while) I've apologised but he's having none of it, he's cut me off, I'm really worried about him but I can't get through to him. How do I help him?

[Hidden]

Hi

How sad! Write him a letter, or send a card, tell him you are sorry, you got it wrong, you didn't realise he was having such a bad time, and PLEASE can you meet with a box of choccies or wahtever he likes, etc. Beg.

Suex

[LilMini in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I have the 'sorry' card in my hand, although I think he'll rip it up when he sees it, its worth a try...thanks again! x

[sasays]

Hi hun,

Something written is a good idea, though id be inclined to leave him space to read it, ie drop it through his door or something. Although do say 'please just let me know youve read this' otherwise you'll not know if he's chosing to ignore you or never saw it (unlikely).

Sounds like you may have said somethings you regret, or possibly some things not realising the impact they would have, or what mental state he was in. It WAS unitentional so do whatever you can to make him know that. Dont hasstle him into forgiving you (i dont think that would work) but let him know youre not going anywhere, and will always be here for him and that you would like for him to get in touch with you, even if he's not ready to discuss things yet. Don't leave him too it either, don't let him seclude himself. Stay in contact but keep it short and sweet and not too much. Be there but dont put the pressure on. Sorry hard to find the right mix isnt it! It really will depend on how he feels at whatever point of whatever day. Sorry i dont have anything esier to suggest!

Having people around for support is so important to us all so hang on it there x

[LilMini in reply to sasays]

Hi Sasays

Thank for that, I've written him a very apolgetic letter and let him know I'm here for him whenever he wants, also given him some space, fingers crossed it'll work, I feel so bad for what I said, it was completely unintentional but no matter what he says or does I'll be here waiting for him.

Thanks again

x

[annie87]

Hi.. go straight to his gp with him now please. The doctor will get him help asap. My brother was in an motorbike accident couldn't cope with the pain and begged for help got refused it and killed himself a year later. Please get to gp asap help us available xx

[LilMini in reply to annie87]

Hi Annie87

I'm so sorry for what happened to your brother, thats terrible, his gp should be struck off for refusing to help him. Thanks for the advice, if/when he starts speaking to me I'll get him to the doctors.

Thanks again

x

[annie87]

Hi.. go straight to his gp with him now please. The doctor will get him help asap. My brother was in an motorbike accident couldn't cope with the pain and begged for help got refused it and killed himself a year later. Please get to gp asap help us available xx

[sasays]

Hi LilMini, Annie does have a point depending on what he told you, if it is very serious, ie thinking about harming himself or ending his life then you really cant wait. Only he knows how deperate he is and only you know what he's told you and what you can gather from his behaviour. Look into what the process is for getting support with mental health in your area ie self referrals etc, pehaps NHS Direct could help with that? Not sure, worth a try. If youre worried, there is always the Samaritans for telephone support. I do hope that you can work things through together and things will look more positive but there are options you shoudl definitely look into if your very concerned. I don't mean to worry you, i just always think its best to be prepared for the worst, but then i would be woudlnt i, thats why im here x

[LilMini]

Hi Sasays

Thanks for that, I've dropped him letter and just text him saying no matter what, I'm on call 24/7. He didnt tell me anything about his deperession, he put the phone down on me (rightly so) but he messaged me giving me greif (again, rightly so) and how bad its all gotten for him, it doesnt help that we live 150 miles apart or else I'd have been straight there. I've asked him to go to the GP, he doesnt need to suffer. I know I won't get a response but I'll percevere.

Thanks

x

[daffodils in reply to LilMini]

don't give up, you will get through to him eventually. keep in contact by letter,email,text. Even if he doesn't respond keep the contaxt up your side. Is there anyone you can speak to who lives close by that could call on him, family or friends just to make sure he is ok. Now is not a good time for him to be on his own.