Hello everyone

[lauren005]

Hello I'm really new to this so I'm not sure where to begin, my names Lauren I'm 25 years old. I'm going through something right now but I don't even know how to begin in talking about it I just finding it hard to talk about it I just need help of some sort.

[Hidden]

Hi as this is a depression site I presume what you want to talk about is related to depression, anxiety or other mental health problem? Have you been to your doctors? Are you on any meds? What's your situation?

The best think is just to spit it out - you won't get judged on here as we all understand. x

[lauren005 in reply to Hidden]

I know but I've never spoken to anyone about it before my boyfriends got it as well and I can only talk to him for not very long as it could trigger it, I don't really have a situation I just over think everything and I cry a lot and people make me feel useless and worthless I constantly think about stupid stuff that I shouldn't be thinking like about death and getting old and what's going to happen it's awful then I question my whole life then it's like a circle 😟

[jennyjolly in reply to lauren005]

Hi Lauren,

I wish I was 25..i'm 61 and have a daughter of 43

Have you had traumas in your past or recently?

There's also an excellent supportive PTSD and Anxiety site here on HU

That you might like to join also for additional help,advice and support

Is your boyfriend supportive as you both have same?

Re getting older..i'm much happier than I was at 25

Everyone thinks and talks about death sometimes ,more as they get older..it's not the taboo subject it used to be

As you are preoccupied sounds like anxiety,

A visit to your Dr would be a good first step,it would help to have

a professional person/therapist to talk to and help you with your

fears and concerns

Hope you get all the help,support and friendship you need

Lauren

[lauren005 in reply to jennyjolly]

Not as such like sometimes just little things trigger it like pressures and stuff like me and my boyfriend were going to get a house together and we went to view it yesterday and then my mum made me see sense and she spoke to both of us about it then I just starting crying and getting stressed about it it's like she doesn't believe in me or I could Cope with anything 😟 And to be honest this wouldn't have been happening unless my boyfriends sister and her boyfriend didn't split up cause she was going to move in where my boyfriend was at his mums so that's one of the reasons why we were going to get that place which my mum didn't think was a good idea cause it seemed like it was rushed so I didn't want to do it so now I think everyone in his family is against me and Hates me now I feel completely useless

[jennyjolly in reply to lauren005]

Getting a home together sounds great but dependent on a few important factors

Have you and your boyfriend been together long?

Do you have a good,working friendship/relationship?

Can you afford to pay the rent/mortgage?

Are you both working?

Would your new home be near your families so you have help if needed?

I think both your families want you to be happy,secure and do the right thing for both of you

If these important factors were not in place as your foundation it would be less likely to work out

To live independently of our parents requires a good degree of maturity and stability and compromise for it to work well

I still didn't have this at your age and many others haven't either

You aren't at all useless Lauren, in a learning curve

Like us all

[lauren005 in reply to jennyjolly]

Been together 2 years, yeah we both have jobs so it's not like we don't have any money coming in but I would prefer to buy a house so it's ours so we don't have to ask permission to decorate and we can have pets so going to save really hard now. just now I've changed my mind about this one I feel that all of his family are talking about it and saying stuff about me 😟

[jennyjolly in reply to lauren005]

Families do talk/discuss

Usually because they want everything to work out for their family member

That's understandable

Have they treated you well up to this situation?

To save,plan and discuss things with your

boyfriend and both families would be a

good thing for everyone

Wish you all the best Lauren

[SonofKrypton]

Hi Lauren,

Nice to meet you, my name's Deji.

I'm new to this type of thing as well so whilst I am don't come with experience in this regard you'll find me to be highly emphatic. Funnily enough I am recently 25, and going through my own things, which if it helps you I wouldn't mind elaborating on.

I find it extremely difficult/embarrassing to talk about my issues, but I have found talking with a variety of people is helping me come to terms with my life.

I'm here to listen, so would you be able to tell me a little bit about what you are going through?

[lauren005 in reply to SonofKrypton]

Well you don't have to be embarrassed about talking to me about it I won't judge anything you say to me. It's weird because I have different mood swings every day it goes in stages I wake up feeling so down then few hours I could be feeling okay again but I'm never really okay i just want to keep myself locked away then I avoid any issues in life I argue with my mum a lot which really doesn't help 😟

[SonofKrypton in reply to lauren005]

I can get where you are coming from. I'm quite analytical. I go over previous and hypothetical conversations in my head; I'm so overly concerned about people's opinions of me that I think that I am constantly being judged (I know this probably false though). Is this similar to how you feel?

From my perspective(take it with a pinch of salt), I don't think it is particularly wrong to have thoughts about death, from a dispassionate, intellectual point of view. Having that curiosity and awareness of your own mortality is important, and I am sure will help you think more about what you want to achieve in life. However, it is easy to find yourself overwhelmed by these thoughts, as one small thought leads to another and so on. I get overwhelmed quite easily as well, but I'm trying to work on these feelings and not allowing them to manifest.

Based on what you said about people making you feel "useless and worthless", could you elaborate on what brings about these feelings?

Once again, I can relate to wish to lock yourself away. I distract myself with music, television, exercise, whatever just so I can stop over thinking.

What kind of things do you argue with your mum about? I don't think I have much of relationship with my mother as we are both quite similar; inable to talk about emotional issues.

For you what is okay? Being able to be in public? Going to work? Socialising?

[lauren005 in reply to SonofKrypton]

It's completely overwhelming all these thoughts that are going on in your head on a day to day basis it's really not nice, I'm literally stressed about something every day and I just end up crying or having a break down like right now I can't sleep cause I'm getting chest pains cause i think I'm having some sort of panic attack I'm sorry if I'm moaning a lot I just need new friends because i don't have many of them 😟

[Hidden]

Hi this definitely sounds like depression and anxiety to me. The first thing you need to do is seek help from your doctor. I know you are going to say that you can't talk about it and I do appreciate how difficult it can be, so why not write down how you are feeling and just give it to him/her? You will by no means be the only person to do that,

Also the second most common visit to a doctor is due to mental health issues. They won't judge you and they should be able to offer you meds and/or counselling.

If you don't want to go this route, and it's your choice of course, then you need to look into self-help ie mindfulness, headspace, online therapy etc. Goldfish_ is very good with advice on the self help route so I hope he comes in.

Meanwhile stay with us here and we will help and support you all we can. Ok? x

[lauren005 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah but I have good days and bad days and good hours and bad hours, it's really hard to juggle the 2 together I have nights where I can't breath like right now I'm finding it hard and I just know I won't be able to sleep I'm just really not coping at the mo I keep going around in circles and I just keep crying I want to go sit in a church and just so have people getting at me all the time or trying to get me it's so hard to deal with especially in my head just piecing everything together in my head as well just feel like there's no way out

[Hidden]

Well there is a way out and you have taken the first brave step in coming in here and talking to us. The not being able to breathe bit sounds very much like anxiety. If you google breathing for anxiety online lots of info will come up. Breathing exercises are very effective and will help a lot. x

[Hidden]

Ps there are a couple of anxiety sites on Health Unlocked as well If you want to join those too. Get all the help you can. x

[lauren005 in reply to Hidden]

I would love to join those how can I get on to them?!

[Hidden]

Take a deep breath and we will see if we can help.

BOB

[lauren005 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you need all the support I can get

[Hidden]

If you are considering your future with your boyfriend and looking at houses, have you had a word with a Bank or Building Society to see how much you would need to purchase your first home, that may give you ideas how much money your could borrow, also what sort of deposit you would need ??.

BOB

[Buffy1943]

Hi Lauren I'm so sorry to hear you are having a bad time. I have severe depression at present and am off work. I've got a fabulous doctor who is a good listener and understands how I'm feeling. He has also referred me to a mental health practioner for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. May I respectfully suggest that you speak to your doctor for help and advice, and possibly a course of antidepressants may help. Please don't suffer in silence I care