Hello everyone

This is my first time on this particular part of the Health Unlocked Forums.

I just want to introduce myself - Jackie.

I have suffered with depression for 19 years now & have been under Physciatric Care 3 times over the years.

I am beginning to worry as I feel myself going down. I know there is nothing my GP can do except refer me on to CPN's but they are over stretched & the waiting for an appointment is quite a while & I dont want to go down further & further to go back to Phyciatrist.

I am currently on 375mg of Venlafaxine but am worried that the effects of it making me feel better are wearing off & I know it is a very hard drug to come off & maybe try a new one.

I hope that maybe by chatting to people on here will maybe help me.

I was also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia earlier this year & have been told I have it because I suffer depresion.

I have a few issues going on in my life at the moment which could be causing me to feel like this?

I look forward to hopefully chatting to some of you & feel that I am not alone ir loosing it coz at the moment I am slowly loosing the will to live.

Take care.

Jackie

[Robb1722]

Hi Jackie, you are not alone. The overwelming choice of medication is horrendous and the feelings you are having are quite normal. We all wonder if we are becoming addicted to the drugs we have been prescibed. Talking to others within this network has and is helping me, so the fact that you made the decision to ask for help is a good sign. We all of us sometimes need reassurance of strangers because i feel that those you love are just saying nice things to stop you doing something stupid, which can enter the mind of the strongest willed. Feeling low has haunted me for 27 years now and i have found that this website is of great comfort, intimes of need. As you can find help or someone to talk with any time of day and night. Stay strong and keep talking, silence will only drown your thoughts and feelings. You are important and worth the time to listen to. Speak with your GP again, helping you understand your medication is his job, if like many you feel like you are being ignored, complain. It is unacceptable for you to feel ignored. Keep trying. I wish you well.

Rob.

[Hidden]

Hi Rob

Thank you for replying to my introduction.

I've suffered depression for 19 years & it runs in my Dads side of the family. There are'nt to many anti depressants I have'nt tried. I am currently on Venlafaxine (Efexor) at a high doage of 375mg. I have been told by the last Physciatrist is was under that I would more than likely have to use AD's all my life. Efexor is a good AD & has helped pull me out of a dark hole. If I miss a dose or do not take it on time my body/mind soon lets me know. The biggest problem I have with it are the sweats & lack of sleep it causes me.

It is a very hard drug to withdraw from. It has severe withdrawal effects, I know this because under supervision I have tried to come down of it. So I think I am stuck with it. It has helped with my mood swings & anger but I now feel like I am slipping into another episode again. There are problems going on all around me & I feel like I am being suffocated.

I have also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in February this year. I have been prescribed 45mg Amytriptaline to help me with pain & sleep. It has helped me with my sleep but these past few nights I've had little to no sleep. Amytriptaline is an old type of anti dep but when used in low dosage it helps promote sleep & relieve pain. It certainly does'nt relieve me off pain.

I feel I cant speak to anyone because they dont undetstand & just sympthathise with me & say relax & take it easy. If I go to Dr & explain how I'm feeling they will just refer me ontk a Commjnity Physcuatric Nurse. The length of time you have to now wait to get one is .onths & the last2 I have seen give me names of groups & drop in centres to go have a coffee & chat. End off! If a coffee & chat was the answer I would'nt need AD's at all. Also 2 of the places I went to under duress realky put me off becayse the people in them reminded me off myself one time when I was also being treated for physcosis. They were like zombies & there is no way that is going to help me.

This may sojnd daft but I feel happier in my own home on my chair alone. Luckily enough I now live alone as my depression wrecked my marriage & am divorced. I only have the kne son who is 22 & has now moved out. My home is a perfect sanctury for me. The TV is rarely on as the noise can sometimes go through my brain. I could write a book about my depression & the damage it has caused me but I feel I've come to terms with it. I've removed myself from people, situations which can trigger me off.

Its everything outside of my comfort zone with issues which I feel are laying heavily on me & dont know how to deal with it. Plus maybe its getting used to the Fibromyalgia which is playing a huge part in allowing/letting me deal with the issues/problems which are inyrudjng kn my life. For me to talk to a Dr or my family is gonna cause a big big problem with the family I have depended on in my times of darkness & needs. I know I'm thinking to far ahead & over analysi g every single thing but I cant help it.

I still suffer from panic attack & I am feeling like I'm gonna start getting a run of them as its the way I go when I get down.

I feel are my tablets loosing their effect? I dont want anything higher, I dont want to see newpeopke to te me stuff I've heard 100 times before. I dont feel like I can lie dkwn & ride ig out.

My problem involves 3 of the main oeople in my life & if I say what I want to say I am going to cause so much hurt. They now need me & I dont feel I can give them my hep or time.

Maybe I can tell you the full story in a while but I am exhausted at the moment & just using my phone to go on the internet. I just have'nt the energy or concentration to get laptop out.

.

Please excuse my typos as I cant see what I am wrting.

Thanks again for your reply & I hope we can talk again.

Jackie

[Getting-By]

Hi Jackie

First of a big welcome to the forum I am glad you found us as you will find good support here. Sounds like you have had a tough time and sorry to here you are feeling low at the moment I used to take Venlafaxine at 275mg and did come of it over a very long period and gradually lowered the dose it was difficult. I now take Escitalopram which I find to be a good medication for me.

I hope you feel a little better soon and keep posting we are here to listen and support you.

[Hecter]

Hi Jackie and welcome.You seem to have had and are still having a rough time.You can get lots of info and help here and just typing out problems sometimes helps.I too am taking 375mg of Venlafaxine and know the harsh effects of just missing 1 days medication.Have tried lowering the dose with GPs help but I couldnt.After 6 years of this my GP does not see me returning to my former confident self.He says I will always be a nervous anxious person.I am just trying to grt on with it

[Hidden]

Hi

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad but think it's important to understand how anxiety and depression work, what makes them worse and also how they interact between them. When feeling anxious there is a tendency for people to avoid situations that make them feel worse as you say you have done. Unfortunately that leads to more depression. The only way to overcome anxiety is to face it and I know that sounds easier said than done and that you can't just go and do it alone. There are a lot of self help books around that can help you to structure how to get back into living a fuller life and once you do then you are likely to begin to feel better. Do a search on Amazon and have a read about any of the books to see if any of them appeal, you can often pick them up very cheaply secondhand on the website. You could also ask your GP to refer you for a brief course of CBT in order to be supported during the process.

Suexx

[Hidden]

Thank you Sue

I will manage over the years I've had counselling & CBT. I find for mysel the best way to relax & keep calm is by listening & doing some meditation. I have a few CD's & there are a lot on YouTube. I still have one for relaxation that the lady I had CBT made fir me. I like it because she is Spanish. Her broken english voice is so soft & soothing.

I'm just probably over analyzing things in my mind because I dont know whats ahead of me & I am not an emotionaly strong person. I have faced worse & been ok. I wont starve or not have a roof over my head. I'll get over it.

Tthank you so much for your support Sue. Much appreciated.

Hugs

Jackie