Hi, I'm new here

Hi there,

I've been depress since I was in my early teens (I'm now 31)

I've been married to a violent and mentally abusive man for almost 10 years.

I found out last Christmas that he'd been having an affair for over a year and have only recently found out the truth of everything that happened...from his bit on the side.

I'm not sure how much I can take and cope with, the only thing stopping me killing myself is my daughter, but I'm desperately trying to stop myself self harming again.

I can feel myself going down my spiral, very quickly. I've done well to get this far, but now i'm loosing control of my thoughts.

Sorry for the post, just needed to get some of the tings off my chest.

J xx


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7 Replies

  • Hi lonleymummy I'm sad to see you are feeling the way you are, is their not anywhere you can go to get away from this horrible man. Do you have family who can help out, your little girl needs you and always will, You say you found out a year ago well that is showing you are a strong person so please stay that way and remove you and your daughter from a rather horrid situation. Things might look bleak just now but you and daughter can get through this, please don't go down the self harm route you don't need it your strong. Keep telling yourself this. I hope this helps a bit and remember we are here 24/7 take care xx

  • Thank you for your kind words Robbie138. Unfortunately my parents haven't got space for the 2 of us and my husband has my bank card, so I can't even save up for a deposit for a rental home. I feel like I'm all alone as he does nothing to help me around the house or look after our daughter, on top of working pretty much fill time. Last night I lay in bed after anther night of vile comments and listened to a band I used to listen to when I self harmed and it took me a lot not only go down that route. Xx

  • How would you feel if you found out your daughter was self harming, you would be really upset. You have to get out of the situation your in, go to the bank ask for another card if you take proof of who you are they will let you withdraw money. I wish you every happiness in whatever you decide to do x

  • You need to reach out to your local MP or a woman's shelter. It'd also be worth opening a bank account in your own name in a different bank and having paperless statements so he can't find out.


  • Woman's Aid or a similar organisation in your area would provide you with practical and emotional support to help you to leave with your daughter. Please don't think that you have to put up with all this abuse from your husband. How old is your daughter? My daughter is nearly 5 and she's my reason to keep going and trying to get myself better.


  • I know exactly howu feel iwas a controlled violent relationship for 15yrs he made me feel small left18 months ago but more foolme let him bk in if it wasntfor my girls id be gone dont even know who iam anymore. To pointtomoz im gonna ask be sectioned for my own safety pls get out b4 its too latexxx

  • Life is too short too stay in a relationship that just makes you feel worse about yourself. My Mum left my Dad with 3 young children because we came first. Do some research and find a way. As said by others just get a second card and cancel the other one. When he is at work one day, pack up your stuff and go. Find a woman's refuge that will take you temporarily. Just do what has to be done and reclaim your life. Good luck x

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