Hi I'm New

[wildflower_dreamer]

Hi, I joined this page in order to gain some perspective from others who have or are in a similar situation to myself. I'm currently looking into the progress of seeking help for depression from my general practitioner, something I feel like I should have done a very long time ago however out of fear and social stigma I've often pushed the thought to one side until now. I'm two years into a degree in something I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember however the reality of the degree is that its not for me, I'm constantly met with thoughts of failure, confusion and like my life has no purpose as I am not good or interested in something I was once passionate about. I can't relate to anyone (although I do try as best I can) on the course as due to the subject I'm taking as a lot of them are significantly older than myself, have children or are in relationships. As someone currently struggling with the acceptance of my sexuality (Grey Ace) hearing about marriage is making me hate who I am even more as this is something I want but can't force myself to have. I thought changing course would help but it is not an option due to student loan debt, the job security at the end of the degree, my family who place a very high value on educational achievement and I have no idea what I'm good/interested at. I went to my university for support and felt almost like I was being laughed at for struggling, I've become unable to get myself out of bed, not bothered about how I look anymore and just having constant waves of emotion and tears as well as bad chest pains. My family doesn't like to talk about things like this only success and when I have tried to express how I feel for advice it has ended in huge fights/ fallings out. I don't want to cause more stress for my family and feel guilty for feeling this way, they are currently the only thing that keeps me happy and going. In short I guess I'm just wondering how do I start a conversation with a medical professional about the possibility of treatment for depression, or do I even have depression am I just overreacting and wasting medical services if I even do this? What things should I include/not include or research before making an appointment.

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

First off - mental health concerns are real - so dont feel like you would be wasting anyone's time finding and getting help.

Lethargy and apathy are symptons of Depression but does not mean you can't turn things around. What are you studying?

How long have you been feeling this way?

What activities do you do outside of studying?

[wildflower_dreamer in reply to Rick1on1]

Hi, I’ve say I’ve probably saying be felt this way for the past 4 but only in the last 2 has it become worse. I don’t do any activities outside of studies, my course involves placements that mean I can’t commit to a set day to doing things and I don’t have the time as I’d just become further behind and more confused with everything. I don’t really have an interest in anything anymore, I guess I used to sing and act and few years ago but not now.

[wildflower_dreamer in reply to Rick1on1]

Sorry forgot to put this in my other reply, I’m studying Midwifery

[Rick1on1 in reply to wildflower_dreamer]

Hi,

I notice that apart from family, you dont mention friendships. The support from friends can often fill the gap that family does not provide.

Consider joining meetups.com. There a wide range of groups and it would be good for you to explore activities and interests while you are in this phase.

[Hidden]

Whatever you decide you first need to talk with our GP, and also if possible our Social Team at Uni. One thing you need to consider are medications, yes you may need them. The problem is however the side effects especially in early days, these can include lack of concentration and you may also lose your edge when it comes to examinations.

On reading above you sound like it may be Anxiety, with Depression

Make a double appointment with your GP, write up a list of all salient points of your concerns. You have over Christmas to calm yourself down. It may be life changes need to be considered.

My Teens were spent at college and sad to say I entered the wrong career.I was a massive error and it caused some real arguments at home. Consider your needs and the reasons you are at college. Various problems may need to be addressed.

When push comes to shove you have decisions to make and only you can make the right ones.

We can support if needed, see your GP first

BOB

[wildflower_dreamer in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your advice, I’ve just organised another meeting with my uni to discuss possible options if I did stay and the process of leaving. My a levels were picked with the intention of doing this degree which limits my choices if I do leave as I only know I don’t want to do anything related to the field I’m in currently, I guess however that this is a start to finding out what I’m meant to be doing. I definitely feel that all of these feeling have been amplified due to life situations both at university and home. With the side effects you’ve discussed I have a few weeks off around Christmas so I may try and get an appointment with my GP then if possible. I’ve never actually thought about it being anxiety that may be an interesting point to also explore.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi wildflower_dreamer,

Welcome to our very supportive community. As you have begun to see folks here are very willing to come alongside each other and share from their wealth of knowledge and experience. I agree with what they have said, and thanks guys for supporting this new member. You are obviously going through a difficult time at the moment, and in the first instance, I would encourage you to make an appointment as BOB has said, a double appointment to go and see your GP. They are very used to identifying and supporting people with mental health problems, and there is a range of options available to help you from medication through to different forms of talking therapy and therapies like mindfulness. Just jot down briefly what you’ve been struggling with, your thoughts and feelings and how this affects your daily life, energy levels, studies and relationships etc.

I don’t know whether you live in the UK, but I am disappointed to hear that your university has been supported because there’s been a massive awareness campaign throughout all the universities to raise the issues of mental health among students. If you feel that they have been prejudicial in their attitude and discriminatory, then according to UK and US law they are breaking the law regards to The Equality Act 2010 UK and the American Disabilities Act 1990, and they need to be held to account for this and I would take it higher in their management chain. Mental health problems are recognised disabilities especially if they significantly impact your ability to function on a day-to-day basis.

I am going to include a few websites mostly UK-based and one US-based specifically to do with mental health, students with mental health etc.

Mind UK – Student Life: mind.org.uk/information-sup...

Student Minds UK: studentminds.org.uk/

Students against depression: studentsagainstdepression.org/

The Mix: themix.org.uk/mental-health

Academic Accommodations for students with psychiatric disabilities (USA): washington.edu/doit/academi...

Nightline for students: nightline.ac.uk/want-to-talk/

Mental Health Foundation – sexuality: mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/...

Open Learn – Mindfulness: open.edu/openlearn/health-s...

Check out our Pinned Posts section which includes free mental health guides, and international crisis support helplines: healthunlocked.com/mental-h...

If you live in the UK keep these crisis support helplines handy:

The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 [24 hours line]

NHS: 999 [Emergencies]

NHS 111 [Non-Emergencies]

MIND UK charity: Helpline Tel: [phone]

SANEline Tel: [phone] [4.30pm – 10.30pm daily ] sane.org.uk/

Keep in touch. Hope I have not overloaded you with too much information. Take or leave what suits you.

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

[wildflower_dreamer in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you, these links seem really useful I’ll have a closer look, I do love in the UK and I’m definitely going to take the advice for the double appointment and take things from there.

[Hidden]

Good luck with any decisions made we are here to help you if needed, Your Uni may be able to switch you over to another course you can try with your Qualifications.

In my case I stayed with my engineering and in mid life became ill with various disabilities and Mental Health concerns. When I was retired out I decided to try Voluntary Work with the NHS and that became my calling much later in life.

It is very important you are able to fulfill your dreams if possible, I know this may sound corny, although true. I passed Youth and Community Examinations as I was still studying my Engineering and I became involved in Youth and Community Work. That became my main interest over and above my main occupation in Engineering.

Many people understand they have problems when taking examinations in subjects they turn out not to like. Most keep on going in the initial direction, and accept their lot through life. It can take a brave person to look forward and look for a job they really enjoy.

BOB