Hello

Hello there, I'm new here.

I'm feeling pretty grim at the mo but trying very hard to see the light - hoping this might help.

Not too sure how this works but just to give a bit of background. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety almost 2 years ago. On reflection, I've probably had it on an off for most of my life but until recently had always been able to deal with it and cope with pretty much anything that cropped up.

I'm not entirely sure why things started to unravel when they did but something sort of snapped and my old, tried and tested ways of coping flew out the window.

That put me very much on the back foot as being able to box things away, smile and carry on has something I've always managed to do.

I have tried all sorts over the past two years... anti-depressants; psychotherapy (this is still ongoing); numerous self help books & online courses and most recently... a stint in hospital.

I have always been very much a glass half full kind of person and I have always tried to see the good in both both bad situations and people. I still do try but find it more and more difficult.

So sorry this all sounds so horribly negative... I know they say it's darkest before the dawn and I so badly want to believe things will get better but after so long, I'm really struggling...

[MattBuckland]

Hi There

You don't sound like a mess to me, you sound like you have been fighting this thing pretty hard and are just tired out.

Same with me and it led to a breakdown in Augustbof this year, which I am slowly recovering from ( slowly).

As you are getting proffessional help the only thing that i can point out is the slight difference in the approach that I am taking this time, having been through treatments before and patched myself up and moved on.

Basically trying to address some of the deeper thoughts processes, in my case self hatred and fear of failure. Also realising that I am really going to have to make some lifestyle changes. These things are difficult and I am only just starting the 'journey' (sorry for going all X factor there).

So basically, it is okay to feel tired out, now it is about focussing on you and what slightly deeper changes in thought process, situation, routine that you can make to keep well.

I have been recommended Paul Gilbert's 'a compassionate mind' and advised to skip to the second part of the book first.

Happy to chat anytime, I have found reaching out on these forums a good part of my care package and support network, hope it is the same for you.

Cheers, Matt

[Hidden in reply to MattBuckland]

Thanks Matt, that's very kind of you. Sorry to hear you're having a rough time at the mo too - it's exhausting, isn't it?

I'm trying to reframe thoughts too and although I've not read the book you mentioned I have seen some work a colleague of his (Kristin Neff) did on Self Compassion - actually it was pretty good and this has reminded to give it another go. Here is a link if you fancy taking a look bit.ly/2ejmHut

Thanks again for replying and hope you're having a good Sunday. Hang in there.

[Satsuma]

All I can say is keep going Hidden You will see the light and it will all fall into place

[Hidden in reply to Satsuma]

Thank you Satsuma 😊

[Satsuma in reply to Hidden]

You are welcome