I've been so angry recently and I can't seem to channel it into anything useful. I don't get physically angry very often but when I do it is explosive.
I found out my ex cheated on me with my best friend for the last 3-5 months of the relationship and actively lied about it and they are still dating like they are living in this perfect world where they can do no wrong. My ex best friend has a victim complex where she is always the victim in any situation. My ex wants me to drop out of uni and kill myself because it's easier for everyone. To top it off my grandad died 2 days ago as well.
Everyone always says 'karma will get them' but it never has in my experience. I've always been the one to suffer even at school when I was bullied. They say 'things will get better' but they haven't. I just get angrier and sadder and I push everyone away because I can't trust anyone anymore. My parents don't listen to me and I don't have anyone I would call a friend anymore since I can't tell who is lying to me.
The doctors don't care, I'm pretty sure they would be happier if I killed myself since I wouldn't be wasting their time or money. They just tell me to take pills that don't work and come and see them in a month if I'm still alive. I haven't had a good night's sleep since last September but they don't give me anything for it because I'm depressed. I've been waiting 3 years to be seen at the gender identity clinic when the waiting list is only supposed to be a year long. They left me to bleed constantly for 4 months before finally doing something about it. I've just lost trust in everything.
I'm just so angry with everything and nothing helps.