hello my friends

hi to everyone may i first apologize for not being on this site two weeks ago i collapsed in tesco, and since then i've had trouble with my mind and memory, i've been to doctors this morning for my blood test results they have come back clear. my head at this moment is red in color the doctors don't know why, so i'm going to have some more tests done as to wonder why i'm like this, i was reading some of your comments so instead of me write to everyone individually i thought i would put up a post so i've only got to write this once. i'm not sure what's going off, when i sent the last post i didn't know what i was writing it just seemed the only way i could say something, i know i've caused many tears but its wasn't planned things just took a turn for the worsed. i don't even know what i'm writing if it make sense or not, but just to let you all know my dear friends i'm still here how long for i don't know until they can find out what's wrong with my head and why its red in color, its not though we have had sun shine, but with being on my own i had no choice but just to keep away from every thing until today. i hope that you all can forgive me for not letting someone know what was going off, i didn't know whether i would still be here, i am but for how long like i've said until the doctors can find out, i'm going to be back online as before and with keep you all informed from now on, to be honest i didn't think anybody was bothered until i started reading some of you posts just to find out that you do care and i should have told at least someone what was happening to me, i'm still not sure at the moment myself, i thought by doing it this way i've only got to explain once to all, i'm so sorry for causing so much stress to you kind and loving friends. well hopefully speak to some later today going for a test this afternoon at around 14:00pm so i won't be in then but should be back from 18:00pm on wards if not as soon as i can back i'll let you dear friends know. sorry again for you people getting upset i didn't know at that time what was happening.

love to you all my dear friends from BIGALAN XXXX

[juneybells]

So glad to hear that you are back on line let's all hope that they find out whats wrong and you start to feel better soon. Try to keep positive we are all praying for you to feel better

June

[Hidden in reply to juneybells]

Hi there I'm going for a scan this afternoon on my head to see if they can see anything, I've been telling them for years that there was something wrong I just hope whatever it is its not to late but will know more hopefully this afternoon many thanks bigalan xx

[juneybells in reply to Hidden]

Good luck will be thinking of you

June

[Hidden in reply to juneybells]

hi Juneybells many thanks for your kind words just waiting from an MRI scan that ive had done this afternoon will know hopefully by weds/thurs for results take care and its nice meeting you Alan xx

[Yarnaddicted]

Dearest Al,

I'm thinking of you and I'm sorry yr going through this.

Also I've not been on here for about a week as you know my health problems. But I wanted to send you a huge squidgy hug so you know you're not alone. Take care ️xxx

[Hidden in reply to Yarnaddicted]

Hi Anita sorry for putting you though this I'm now going back to hospital for a scan this afternoon take care will let you know if I know anything big hugs from me Alan xx

[Debbie453]

Sorry to hear what you are going through, & you are never alone here so Good luck & nice to see you back.

[Matrix]

Hello Allan , I'm so sorry to hear about your fall ,and your confusion which doesn't help when you bang it. It must be very hard to feel poorly and live alone . Take care and I hope they find what's wrong .

[GirlieMay]

Thinking of you Bigalan - Hugs & Kisses ((xx))

[chris47]

Good luck hope everything goes well and they find out what is wrong

[Hidden]

Oh thank goodness Alan. I must admit I was very worried along with others about your last post. I hope the doctors find out what the problem is and can help. You sound like you have been through a terrible time, but selfishly I am glad you are here now and staying with us. Lots of big fat hugs. Bev xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

hi there Bev i can't believe what karen has posted about me, i thought we where friends looks like i was wrong, what karen has said is that i'm making this up just because i was last speaking to her on saturday but not sunday she is saying that i'm lying, i'm shocked thanks for your reply Alan

[hamble99b]

I do not know the full circumstances. I do appreciate how some people feel.

but please consider these thoughts

none of us know how Alan is, and was, feeling;

we are all well practiced at the "I'm fine!" response - maybe this reply is one?

we were all worried about Alan, he's let us know he's ok, that's good to know

generally, depression and other issues can make us insular, self-absorbed, unable to see how we might affect others; and yes maybe can be, or appear selfish.

that said, we might not intentionally set out to hurt, worry or cause distress.

It is also natural for others affected to react and feel how they do about - it's what you do with it that matters.

as long as we stay within the HU guidelines, this a safe, respectful, place to have these discussions.

I am not offering anything other than my own personal opinion. feel free to disagree.

regards,

hamble.

[Hidden in reply to hamble99b]

hi there i'm here and okish at the moment, i've had to have an MRI scan this afternoon on my head to find out what's been going wrong, its been a bit scary for last couple of weeks and days didn't know whether i would still be here awaiting for MRI scan and anything set of blood test to see what's happening upstairs many thanks for you concern BIGALAN Alan to my friends xx

[Silverlady5]

Hi Alan so pleased to see your post but sorry things have been so bad for you it's a relief to know you are not bidding us all a permanent farewell! Lots of people want to offer their support so really hope it helps you over a difficult time. Love to you xx

[Hidden]

hi there sliverlady at the time i sent that post i didn't know whether i would still be here in life, i've had to go for a MRI scan this afternoon on my head to see what's happening upstairs, if i was normal (never happen) i would have never sent that because the amount of friends i've made on here the only way that i would be on here is if i've got my wooden overcoat on. i went to doctors this morning MRI scan this afternoon to find out why ive got pressure in my head, but for now i'm back and i just hope all can forgive me i should have know better but not been with it for last couple of weeks. so just waiting for results to see why i nosed dived downwards. take care many thanks again for you lovely concern. Alan xx

[Silverlady5 in reply to Hidden]

Hi there Alan I totally understand how things were for you when you sent that message you are obviously very down but we are all here for you and please ignore any negative comments just try and keep in touch so we all know you are ok. When do you get your MRI results? Try and stay positive. Thinking of you xx

[Hidden in reply to Silverlady5]

hi there sliverlady i am very down at the moment and i know your wonderful kind friends are here for me, there a lot going of with my health that some people just don't understand, some of it at the moment i don't understand and i'm suffering with it, as for people that say negative things i don't hold anything against them i forgive and forget with in second. my MRI results should be either weds/thurs is when i can phone them but they have said if its anything positive then they will phone me, i'm hoping its going to be negative but then the next question will be then what's happening, thank you for your kindness may i ask what your first name is please if you don't mind, i'm putting a list together so i know who's who many thanks again its been lovely talking to you again take care Alan xx

[Silverlady5 in reply to Hidden]

You are bound to feel down its stressful for you. You know what they say Alan no news is good news with regards to your MRI so stay as positive as you can. my name is VIvien my friends call me Viv which you are welcome to do. Take care xxx

[Hidden in reply to Silverlady5]

hi Viv many thanks for your reply yes i'm so stress and feeling low at this moment its hard to pick yourself up and with waiting for the results to come back make things worse anyway take care thanks for your reply speak to you soon Alan xx

[Hidden]

HI Alan I know you wouldn't leave any of us on purpose worrying about you. Don't worry about what others have said - I am pleased you are still with us and are staying. I know you have health problems at the moment and I think most of us understand that. I am having problems accessing my pm's at the moment but as soon as I can I will pm you. Ok? Take care Alan and lots of hugs. Bev xxx

[manic666]

i must have missed something . but moods can change in minutes , you may write a great post , and 1 hour later 1 you regret , your BRAIN is like a washing machine on full spin when ill. People get blocked an cannot remember even posting the offending message , mentally illness take no prisoners .

[Hidden in reply to manic666]

hi there manic many thanks for your understanding i wish all was like you but there not but i don't hold anything against anybody for what the say i forgive and forget life is to short to hold something against someone, ill let the dust die down and see whether the two people will post if so great if not then not to worry, ive got a lot going of your stairs in the dept that's why i had to go for a MRI scan to find out what going of, i know the medication i'm no doesn't help but i was like this before i went on medication basically ive been like it all my life, i know i got Aspergers syndarome and i'm suffer from dyslexia plus many other problem but thanks for you kind words Alan

[manic666]

I to am dyslexic , has you will see in my posts . I no nothing of grammar and spelling I just write and the message gets across hopfully

[Hidden in reply to manic666]

hi the my friend your posts have been 100% what something needs to hear your doing well, at this moment, my spelling is terrible and memory is worse but at least we understand each other that's the main point, i was educated but i'm finding in my old age that the older i'm getting the worse i am. so keep doing what your doing i can't see nothing wrong from your posts take care Alan

[Hidden]

Hope you get some good news today. Take care.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

hi there Rayswife hope you have a name a first name. if you don't mind. the doctor phoned me today but i didn't hear my mobile ring one because i've industrial deafness but he left a message phoned him back and he's phoning me tomorrow afternoon so until then i'm having to wait. what i will do is just post the results on a post for everyone can see it. i hoping its good news but i'm not counting an eggs yet. take care thanks for you post, will keep in touch kindest regards Alan xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi there. My name is Lesley but someone else was using it so i couldnt register with my name. Tried my nicknames but they didn't work either hence i gave up and registered as Rayswife. I will look out for the results posting. Take care.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

hi Lesley Rayswife it nice to meet you and if you don't mind me putting it this way at least you know i'll be talking to you, i know when i came on here trying to register was a nightmare for me i couldn't believe how many Alan's are on here so i stuck my nick name up as HI! I'M BIGALAN and that's how i managed it, yes as soon as the doctor phones tomorrow afternoon i'll post it to all save writting to everyone individually, so take care Lesley Rayswife speak to you soon your new friend Alan xx