I am very nervous about a new job I am starting which is temporary post, I had to leave my other job due to bullying, I have had a year of counselling and just had my last session this morning, I said to my counsellor I was very nervous and didnt know if I could do this job, before I have been in jobs which haven't worked out and I feel anxious, get tearful and end up in a state, crying and hysterical behaviours. He said I could text him on the day to say I had got myself to work and yes I managed to go which I thought was good. I talked to my counsellor at length about how I was going to spend the rest of the weekend, and on Monday morning I would be getting myself to work, I think I might benefit from having a session a month with my counsellor just for some extra support, I am sure I will be fine but this would just help me. I need this job, I am keeping on my Citalopram as well as I will need this as a back up.
My husband hasn't been supportive in the past but I hope he will be for me in my new role, we have had problems in our relationship and I don't think that has helped my confidence, I went to see a solicitor yesterday, just to get some clarity of we were to split up. His emotional abuse does upset me, shouting and calling me names such as Retard is not right. If my life is not right at home then I can't do my job properly, don't know if this is normal. He does get tired and so do I but it is a 2 way relationship and we both have to do cooking, housework etc, it's not just down to me, he will be cooking all the meals next week as he gets home before me, I have cooked all meals for the last 6 months which I haven't minded I do like being a housewife.
I worry I can't get all the cleaning done but I can only do what I can do in the time given, and with working full time it will get done on a weekend, there is only 2 of us it can't be that hard.
This job will give me an income and it will provide me with some self assurance and self confidence, it will be daunting at first but I am going to give it my best shot
Written by
Angelmarrow141
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Hello,again Angelmarrow. Its completely natural and understandable that you'll be feeling nervous. You're feeling exactly the same as everyone would feel in this situation. Some would put on a bold front and look as cool as a cucumber and some would be trembling but believe me they would all be feeling exactly as you do inside. So try your best not to worry about it,its a natural reaction.
You just make sure you give this your very,very best shot. Of course its normal that the situation at home will affect how you feel and try to undermine your confidence. You can only do your very best to try and not let this happen. I probably don't know enough of the situation to comment on your husband but I'm going to.From what you have posted previously I don't think you were very near the front of the queue when they were handing out husbands. I'm glad to hear that at least he will be cooking the meals next week and you should n't be worrying at all about the cleaning. It will get done and make sure your husband does his share.
Remember that although no one forced you to marry him so you may have made a bad decision ,you still should n't pay for this for the rest of your life, so show some spirit and give him as good as you get. You need the confidence that this job will give you and a bit of self assertion at home would also help your confidence. Remind your husband next time he's shouting that you both need this extra income and you need his help in order to cope successfully with work and the last thing you need is emotional abuse from him.
Thank you everyone of you on this site as if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be where I am now - you are all Angels and have always been there so thank you for this continual support and guidance 🙂
I felt so very, very sad when I read what you had written. NO husband should ever call his wife, "retard." Bullying is unfortunately very common in the workplace and there are many victims of it. If it's any consolation at all, bullies usually target the nicest, kindest and smartest people. Why? Because bullies hate themselves. I hope that everything works out for you. You said that you had been to see a solicitor. If your husband's verbal abuse of you is frequent in any way - or if there is emotional abuse involved - Women's Aid have lovely, friendly and helpful staff with whom you can chat. This is the main number for Women's Aid. 0808 2000 247. Wishing you all the best, Wen x
Ah thank you Wen, I am due to see an abuse counsellor in the new year, this has taken its toll on me as well as having not a lot of confidence. I think they see a weak person and target them, I have grown stronger and harder and I would never be bullied again, my husband though should never call me names, we have had words and he has been warned that I will not put up with it and that I would leave him, friends are aware of his temper, he would never hit me but he had broken chairs and thumped walls, the last 2 years have been hell at time. My friends are all aware and are ready for me to make a decision and they would be there for me. I hadn't seen my dad for 6 weeks because I want allowed to , my dad isn't aware but he knows something is not right. It is typical abuse when you can't see your family when you want to see them. I am fully aware of this and I would not be prepared to be put through anything I didn't think was right xx
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At a loss of what I am doing?
Tomorrow is the day that i start my new job...Update..I quit my new job
Im looking for tough love!
