Tomorrow is the day that i start my new job...Update..I quit my new job

[CJ2016]

And to say i am bricking it is an understatement,i am still not sure if i am doing the right thing,but it's to late now,i have left my other job,and although i could probably go back i am to "proud" to go back if thing's don't work out at this new job.

If it does not work out it just means i will be stuck at a job that i do not like for a while,ive not even started working there yet,but already cant see my self working there long term.

The enviroment is a lot different to what i have worked in the previous 2 years(retail and part time) compared to this job where it is a warehouse setting with added danger of working with molten metal and machineary as well as being a full time job with shift work of morning noon and nights.

Mentally i do not know how this job is going to affect me,my last job before starting it, i was on a high that eventually went right down to a big low,that eventually led to a lot of self harm etc,then started to climb back up then back down then just had a mixture of moods happening.

At the moment my mood's are ok somewhat conflicted, but ok and its been like that for a little while i feel more anxious then i have in a while,Its been about a month since i last cut,my previous job was starting to get busy as well as now having this new job as well as weddings,and my mother needing to go into hospital for a pacemaker,my mind has been preoccupied with all of this.

Dont get me wrong the urge to cut is still there,and comes in strong bouts,but ive not given into it,granted its not easy. People are asking if i am happy to be starting a new job in all honesty i hate change.

I take a while to adjust to it,i have my routines that i like to stick with and when that gets changed it kind of irritates me,last week i had to do a 3 day course before starting this new job(fork lift training) and at times i was ready to walk out just at the fact that i kept thinking what am i doing here is this really me.

Infront of most of the people around me i put on a front "acting" like i am confident and ready for this new challenge,but reality is i am nervous as heck,and just cant decide where my mind is,with thoughts bouncing around everywhere.

At the same time this job will pay more a lot more to the tune of being 3/4k better off a year,and being 8k in debt,i guess to a degree i have my hands tied.

I honestly just dont know how to explain what i feel in regards to it all,it is difficult to explain the feeling,i have been fighting a battle with my brain since 14,and it is a never ending battle,i never saw my self living in the future,but here i am,still fighting this battle with my head.

It probably will be a battle that will never end,well not until i meet my maker,but yeah "i dont know" is just about the only thing i can think of to describe all of this really and not knowing is what makes my mind tick even more,tonight i will sleep very little.

My brain will keep ticking over and over and over and watching the hours and mins run down until i walk through those doors.

Sorry for the essay like post,my mind is just going a million miles per hour.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi cj2016, and welcome to the forum. Congratulations on your new job. It is natural to feel nervous when something ends and we begin something new, but try to take things one step at a time. You state "if it does not work out", but unless you try, you will never know how it would have worked out., so it is good that we give ourselves these opportunities to allow ourselves to grow. I think many of us find change difficult, but give yourself a chance to adjust to your new job. These things always take time. You will then start to feel more comfortable and relaxed. I hope your mother is now feeling better.. Please stay on the forum and let us know how you are getting on and other members will be along to offer their support. All the very best to you in your new job. Thank you and best wishes.

[MattBuckland]

Hi Cj

I'm a bit cream crackered at the moment so sorry for the short reply.

Don't expect too much of yourself, you are going to have doubts and nerves. Let it flow in, recognise it and agree that you will confront it after work as you do not have the time to deal with both.

All the best mate.

Matt

[Stilltrying_]

Like Matt I am pretty cream crackered at the moment but I do wish you all the best for tomorrow and have been following your posts over past few months.

Fingers crossed its an all round good day for you tomorrow X

[CJ2016]

Hey guys thanks for the replies apperciate it and i hope it goes well to, i just hope they dont go sticking me streight on afternoon shifts that would suck.

Ive kept my mind busy since postimg earlier today but now its going into zero hour so just waiting now,ill reply on this post tomorrow letting you know how it went wont be until afternoon as its 9 till 5(for tomorrow only) so wont get home till about 5:45ish 👍🏻 x

[Photogeek in reply to CJ2016]

Good luck and it’s natural to be nervous when starting a new job- Ask questions if there is something your not clear about and take it day by day-

Hannah

[blackcat64013]

Hi CJ2016,

I am in Australia so just catching up on the news of your new job. You probably will be finished the first shift by the time you get to read this. I hope the day was a success for you

[CJ2016]

Well after that first shift my opinion has not really changed , and has now got me thinking that perhaps i did make the wrong choice in swapping my job.

I know its only been one day, but i honestly i dont know my gut instinct just keeps telling mr its not the job for me.

So yeah i honestly dont know now.

[MattBuckland in reply to CJ2016]

Give it time Cj, like you said mate, just one day

Matt

[Stilltrying_ in reply to CJ2016]

Agree with Matt. Give it time. It is only your first day. It takes time to adjust.

[CJ2016]

I think having gone in with a negative mindset to begin with has not helped thats for sure,and it will be difficult to shake that mind set if at all,i just feel it might not be the job for me,i know these days you have to go where the money is,but if its at the cost of being more miserable then that just kind of sucks really.

I would rather bang my head against a brick wall then do the same job over and over and over again and thats what this job seems to entail compared to when i went for the interview and i was told i would be in a different area.

Yes they say they move people about,but its more difficult to give something a chance when your heart is not in it,it's just that now i have shot my self in the foot and trapped my self until i can find something else again.

In the meantime i also have to contend with the feeling of my head going to pop.

[CJ2016]

Update:-

Yes as the title says now i tried to hold out to see if i would settle but i could not,so i quit the job,now atm i am jobless but at the same time don't feel worried about it because the new job just was not for me.

I just feel like a little bit of breathing space has come back by leaving the new job,i tried it,didnt like it,and that was that really.