Bouncing Back Again!!

[En1234]

I sometimes wonder if there is actually a God and he is taking the mickey out of me. Having had left a place of employment in December 2017, I took on 3 more jobs. The first one was in a large firm of Solicitors and could not understand why they would want me in the first place so low was my confidence at the time. The hours were great, the benefits were great not to mention the pay was great..Of course it was too good to be true??!!. I have since been told that I had suffering from a thing called "Imposter Syndrome" where you THINK people think you are a fraud and that of course I would NEVER be good at a job like this....cant imagine why they would want ME?? It would only be a matter of time before someone found me out for the fraud that I was?? I didnt realise this was quite common for people starting new jobs. So from there I went on and took 2 more disasterous positions in Call Centres which, when I left, I because I couldnt do it and so this really did knock my confidence for 6 too. Having then last week I thought my life was so bad, I felt as low as I have ever been, I got so drunk that my big lad couldnt wake me up. I spent the night in hospital "sleeping it off" and then felt the shame of having to get a taxi home (like I was doing the walk of shame), the following day. I had to go to my GP on Friday morning where I told her I was so tired and all I wanted to do was sleep. The idea of going to the Job Centre was making me feel sick and I just wanted to get back to me. The hardworking me that is happiest at work and doing the job I love doing best.

Lo and behold when I got home I received a telephone call from an agency to say they had a company of Solicitors in Glasgow City Centre who were looking to hire a Legal Secretary for one of the Partners of the Firm. They had been given my CV and were very impressed however,I was very apprehensive but said OK I would go to the interview even if it was just to get out of the house!!..

My interview lasted just under 2 hours yesterday and the Solicitor I would have been working for came in and introduced himself, told me about the job role etc, and we just clicked!! We had a bit of a chat and I said it was lovely to have met him. When the interview ended I went back to the train station to go home and I had no sooner sat on the train buy my phone rang and it was the company calling to offer me the job. Never in my wildest dreams was I expecting that!!

I start on Monday. My Job Title is Secretary to the Commercial Partner and I will also have 2 University Graduates working alongside me and my job apparently is to also keep them in line as well as show them the ropes with regards to filing etc. I cannot wait for Monday as I am so looking forward to it. Today is the first morning I have not woken up with heart palpitations and have slept really well. I, at last, feel as though my life is back in control and I can see a future for me and Ewen. My holidays are great, I have a good pension again, I have Private Health Care and wages I thought I could only dream of. (They are going to be paying me even more than the first office I went to). I can honestly say that walking into the office felt like going home. The building is right in the heart of Glasgow City Centre and is a big smokey glass building with lifts, big leafy plants and a concierge. The atmosphere outside is great and there are street artists and buskers (who CAN sing) and its very cosmopolitan. I feel so lucky!!

I have spent the last couple of weeks slagging off God and asking Him why is He doing this to me and what had I done that was so bad ?? Now I can see that it was ALL part of some bigger picture. I think I can safely say I have found my faith again. (Even had my mum on the phone last night making her amends too). Right now life if good and I intend to keep it that way. I fell as though I have been given a second chance and boy am I going to make the most of it.

Looking forward to getting up later, throwing on my running gear and going for a good long run. Really do have a spring in my step today!!

Love to you all!!

Theresa XXX

[sweetiepye]

Well done. I am so happy for you and a bit jealous. Be sure to let us know how you get on. It sounds perfect . Pam

[En1234 in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you so much and I will be sure to let you know how it goes! XXXXXX

[MAS_Nurse]

Wow! That's fantastic news and so encouraging! Go for it girl!!

[En1234 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

I am so looking forward to it and the people were really lovely too. Cant believe I am saying that I am "looking forward to Monday" XXX

Thank you so much!! XX

[clovislorry]

Theresa, I am SO happy for you, I have a big smile on my face. What a lovely thing to see when I logged onto my laptop this morning. I just knew something wonderful would happen for you, you so deserve it, and now you can put the past 6 months behind you and know that it all happened for a reason. Your dream job wasn't quite ready to show itself to you, and you had to be kept busy while it took shape.

Well done you, and have the most wonderful time on Monday and all the days following it.

Lorraine xxxxx

[En1234 in reply to clovislorry]

Oh Lorraine,

It has felt like such a hard slog!! But last week was definitely the worst. I am so looking forward to Monday and even if I hear that "wee voice" starting to doubt me, it is so going to be told to just Jog On!!

Feeling very nervous but this time it feels different plus at last I am going to be able to get my passport renewed and start thinking about a holiday in the sun somewhere nice...

I will keep you posted and let you know how my first day goes!!

Hope you are OK today!!

Theresa

XXXXXX

[hypercat54]

Oh well done En that's fantastic. Funny enough I was talking with a friend the other day about if you persevere as soon as one door closes another one opens which is a much better one. We were saying it's fate and meant to be. Things usually work out in the end and I am so pleased for you.

Now remember you are not an imposter and you can do the job which is why they hired you. You will be great in it. x

[En1234 in reply to hypercat54]

Well said!! Ive heard that saying "As one door closes another slams in your face!" LOL!! I can laugh at it now but at the time that was how it felt. I actually woke this morning and had to try and remember if yesterday happened or if I just dreamed it!! Really cannot believe I am saying this but Monday is not coming quick enough!!

Lots of love to you!!

Theresa XXX

[hypercat54]

You are welcome Theresa. I would put my name on but won't on unlocked posts, x

[En1234 in reply to hypercat54]

No bother!! I just appreciate your support but I will let you know how the first day goes!! I hope you are OK! XXXXXX

[Stilltrying_]

Fantastic news!! I knew you would get there XXXXXXX

[En1234 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thanks Gemma...They have just e-mailed my Introductory Letter and my Contract and Terms of Business and it all seems very "real" now.

This time I am just going to have to have a bit more faith in myself and believe that it will work this time. I will be doing what I know and what I know I am good at. I know I will make my mistakes along the way but I suppose that comes with the territory of starting a new job, getting to know other people's way of doing things... and lets not forget I have been out of that environment for 6 months now?? The sooner I get back in the saddle the better. The world has been a very scary place lately and I NEED to get over the feeling that I am always going to fail....I think I will be OK...

Im sorry we have not had a chat for a while but I hope you are well and really do appreciate all your support. XXXXX