Lost

[Alone53]

I suffered with depression last year due to stress at work. But then my relationship broke down. I decided to change jobs move away to somewhere I knew nobody. I stopped taking the antidepressants. Big mistake!!! I have today gone back to the doctors as I feel hopeless and can't seem to get out of feeling so down. Can't get over the brake down of the relationship and have heard he has moved on. Feel hopeless.

[Hidden]

Hello Alone

You say that you have been back to the GP, has He/She put you back on your medication and is CBT going to be arranged for you ??

When we loose a Partner after a long term relationship it can really affect our outlook to life and like death it takes time to get over that relationship.

We consider doing irrational things like moving away from old friends and family and generally this makes that distress harder to get over because you move away from that comfort zone, so in the end the loss becomes harder to get over as you have not made friends in the new town you have run to.

We need to grieve and talk out our concerns and because we have no contacts that becomes harder to come to terms by talking out your problems. Your contacts are more fleeting and friends have not really been made. Deep friendships generally give more support when relationships fail

Getting over this person will take time, He now has moved on so if you found out about this that will not help your sadness and pity. You will now need to move on. this will take time and you need to heal, it is important for you to accept that relationship is over and begin to look for someone else to replace the loss.

Give yourself time, do not rush, you will eventually make friends and this will help you find that new person to share your life with

Generally I am not saying go back to where you were before, you may consider that ?, your contacts and friends possibly are still there, or stay where you are and begin that new adventure you seemed to crave after that failed relationship

BOB

[Alone53 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Wise words

[Olderal]

Sorry to hear all this bad news for you but you should n't be feeling hopeless.

Relationships do break down, often causing a lot of pain and they are hard to get over, but that happens for the majority of us at some stage of life and it just has to be coped with.

Changing jobs and moving could have been a wise decision but did n't work out that way. The one thing you should possibly regret is stopping taking the antidepressants presumably without consulting your GP. Medical opinion now seems to be that one should continue with ADs for quite a period after the depression vanishes.

However the good news is that presumably you now know of an AD that works for you as presumably your depression had vanished or you would not have stopped taking them. There may be even better ones for you, but you know one that worked. You also now know that stopping ADs prematurely is usually a mistake.

I can't suggest anything you can do about the break up but that does n't matter as time will cure that for you anyway,eventually.

So time will cure the relationship break up. Hopefully the ADs will again work well and then you will make new friends in your new area and I hope find a new romance. This won't happen overnight but long term things are far from hopeless for you.

Now having watched England play (I use the term loosely ) Iceland tonight do you have any advice to cheer me up ?

I sincerely hope that you feel good again very quickly and that things work out. You've obviously got a lot of initiative to have moved jobs and home so I'm pretty confident they will.

Olderal

[Alone53 in reply to Olderal]

Thank you for your reply much appreciated. I wish I could return the favour re cheering you up about England's dreadful performance.

[Chrispaddy]

Ive had that love 2 im in pits good thing is it passes just want it to pass now ull be all fixed soon x