I just want to make myself sick

[Leo142]

I hate myself I just want to make myself sick and i get closer and closer each time to doing it and I don't know how to stop the urge to throw up... I just hate looking at myself with no shirt on it makes me want to throw up

[Olderal]

Wait until you get to my age. If I take my shirt off everyone else wants to throw up.

Leo, I've noticed you've posted twice tonight. If you need some help please post on how we can try to help. The bottom line seems to be you are not rating yourself very highly at present. Losing respect for yourself is sometimes a bit more serious than it seems so if we can help in anyway , please shout.

Olderal

[teemarie]

Leo please dont think that is the way to do it. That is very dangerous for your health, I dont know your story or why you feel the way you do but please know you can always reach out.

[Amanda35]

Leo self hate and wanting to make yourself sick sound like signs that you are feeling very low right now. You really need to tell someone you trust how low you are feeling. Throwing up is a way of taking out whatever you are feeling out on your body. I did reply to your entry about marking your arms. If you feel low all of your instincts may be negative right now. Please try to be kind to yourself right now. Try to eat and sleep and just take things one step at a time. You are obviously feeling overwhelmed. Your body needs food to help you think straight and recover from your low mood. There are many ways to control your life, please try not to damage your body. Life sounds like it sucks for you at this moment, but tomorrow may be your best ever. Please try to be positive. Hope you seek out some support. You need some care right now.

[Stilltrying_]

Leo have just looked back over your previous posts and I can see you have an eating disorder and also a lot of different problems at the moment. I notice you like guys; it is not an easy life being gay as you know you are different ( I experience this) and I'm wondering if all of this is linked in you? It sounds like you've had quite a difficult background and are just really struggling in a number of ways right now.

Are you getting the help you need do you think? Is there someone you can talk to frankly about all of this? Did you get to the eating disorder clinic at all?

Sending hugs,

Gemma xx