I get tired trying to motivate myself

I just found this site while doing a google search, trying to find out why I can't motivate myself to do anything :/

Funny thing is, when I am dead dog-tired, I suddenly want to do EVERYTHING except get the sleep I desperately need, but after I've had a good sleep, I don't want to do anything at all. I will even actually feel PHYSICALLY tired at the thought of having to do something, even if it's small and simple like emptying the dishwasher, or even fulfilling a minor social obligation, like talking to someone online when I promised to be on.It isn't even just a little 'ugh' feeling, it's a crushing fatigue that makes it hard to keep my eyes open.

I feel like there's a disconnect between what I know needs to be done, and how much I care about doing it. I KNOW it has to be done, I KNOW I should do it, but what I think and what I feel don't want to agree. a couple such examples I can name are I will do my laundry, but can't get myself to put it away. I will put my dirty dishes on the kitchen counter, but I can't make myself take the extra step of rinsing them and putting them in the diswasher.. I'm also terrible at sabotaging myself. If I know I have to be awake early in the morning, I find myself staying up all night until I fall asleep and miss my appointment, or meeting.. if I have to do just one thing like say, no eating after 8pm or take my medication reliably at the same time every day, all my subconscious seems to want is the exact opposite!

I found that a certain kind of nootropic supplement can mend that connection a little.. Not 100%, but I'd say about 25-30% which is better than zero, right? Unfortunately the only place to get such where I'm at is the internet, and you never know if what you're getting is good or not.. playing russian roulette with your mental health isn't something I would recommend to anyone! (There are horror stories out there of people ordering supplements they take in mega-doses, and getting benadryl or worse instead... yes, some of them are dead.)

I'm currently on Wellbutrin, which has been intermittently making that connection, but it's a stimulant and for me, stimulants are a crapshoot. They will either wake me up, or put me down in 20 minutes like a tranq dart and I never know which it will be until the 20 mins go by. That medications work in such an on-again off-again fashion tells me that there's definitely something unbalanced upstairs, but I haven't found the fix, or even pinned down what it is.

I don't -feel- depressed, I mean I'm not exactly tapdancing to the rhythm of the universe or anything with this irritation and disappointment wiht myself, but I'm not sad or apathetic either. I barely work, my house is a wreck, my finances are a joke, I sabotage myself at every turn and the more derilict I become with my responsibilities, the less I want to do anything but curl up in my blankets and sleep.

I wish I had a point to this post, and I wish I knew how to fix the short circuit in my head. :/

18 Replies

  • I think I know how you feel. I can't get anything done and already feel tired in the morning. Getting up is nearly all I can do. Sometimes it helps me to do only a verly little bit. For example puting 1 shirt away or cleaning 1 plate or 1 glass. You could give a try. Don't expeact to do everything. Just one little piece and probably an hour later another.

  • Hi keksii, I am probably saying the obvious I know, but exercise can help, trouble is when the motivation is low how do you even try that! I sometimes find if I can summon a bit of effort once I manage to raise the pulse rate a little bit it gives me enough energy to then get down to doing a lot more.

    There are so many different ways to get a little exercise in depending on what you like and several ways to even get a little more motivated to do it, but of course this depends on individual likes.

    When I was young I used to put loud music on and dance around the house to get the work done. My daughter has just discovered she likes jogging and was telling me how amazed she is in how it has affected her motivation in everything else, she used to hate cleaning the flat and now she does it without thinking about it.

    Hope you soon find what works for you xxx.

  • Hi do you know I could have written this post. This is exactly what I am like too. I will sometimes take my plates etc. to the sink but can't go any further and wash them up. I end up with a dirty bowl with dirty water in, and the worse it gets the less reluctant I am to deal with it. Eventually after quite a long time of this I end up with a filthy sink, bowl and surrounds and it is a major task to tackle it and takes me hours.

    I am the same with the laundry - I put it in my washing machine, then hang it up to dry, then don't put them away in my wardrobe (mainly because I have stuff in front of it which I would have to move first) so they end up in a big pile in my living room!

    I often think it's because doing the things I have to do socially like being clean and wearing clean clothes takes so much out of me I have no energy left for the niceties. The clutter in my rooms takes over and it becomes a hopeless task trying to sort it all out when I have to ie when someone is coming round to fix something or in my latest case buying a new bed.

    People tell me it's much easier to do it as I go along. Now I know this the same as you do, but it's much easier to say than do isn't it? Now my home is relatively clean and tidy I am making yet another vow to do this and one day hopefully I will succeed.

    I don't have any answers I'm afraid but I hope you find yours. x

  • Snap, snap, snap! (Only I can't be bothered to hang the washing out! ) lol! 😕

  • Hello Kelsil,sounds as if you have a bloody minded brain. I've got one too and they are pretty common. It would be easy for me to revert to a life style where I stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning and get up at 11 or 12 next morning.

    It would be so easy and so fatal. You should ask yourself the question everyone should ask who suffers from this lack of motivation which is this. If I was in a Nazi concentration camp where not getting out of bed meant the capo's whip or possibly being instantly shot could I get going ? I think I know the answer.

    It is just down to you ; there's nothing difficult about doing any of the things you're failing to do , just do them . What you're really looking for is an easy life where doing anything is so easy because you want to do it. So am I ,so are we all , but we are intelligent enough to know we have to find the self motivation and self discipline to do these things. No one else can do it for you.

    If you can develop regular and healthy sleep habits and good self discipline then believe me your life will be much happier and more successful. You'll also be far less likely to have mental or emotional problems. For you and I and many others this is very difficult but not impossible and I repeat no one else can or is going to do it for you. A capo would solve our problem but that is n't going to happen.


  • Hi Olderal I think you have invented the cure for Depression! Send us all

    To a boot camp and get whipp d by the capo's. Ha ha , you are funny.


  • Wow that's easy then! A cure for depression :D x

  • What's it got to do with depression. Kelsil tells us he is n't depressed and lack of self discipline is not unique to depression.

  • Well he is posting on a depression site so I presume he thinks that it could be behind it!

  • took the thought straight out of my brain !!! isn't it great to know that it is all just sooooo easy :D

  • Isn't it? I wish I had known that earlier :) x

  • Kelsii like someone else said you could so be describing my life too. Sometimes I don't even have the energy to pick my cup up for a drink let alone get from the worktop to the kitchen sink but some of it does come down to attitude. Have you looked into your diet at all? I don't know what yours is like but.....

    Sugar/sweet stuff/soft drinks have a negative benefit. It is the fructose in them that is harmful to our system and the majority of our (food industry) foods contain them in one form or another. Check out your vitamin and mineral consumption. Prepared foods have either no or very low levels of micro or phytonutrients. Eat as much in the way of fresh fruits and vegetables as you can. Omega 6 is very prevalent in the modern diet and causes all sorts of issues. Try to reduce this as low as you can and add omega 3 to redress the balance, it helps improve brain function. Another one for brain power is the lauric acid in coconut oil.

    Carbohydrates act as a 'quick fix' energy source but, in the long run, offer very little in the way of help. Try reducing those to an absolute minimum and increasing your consumption of proteins and fat. Fat provides more than twice the amount of energy supplied by the other macronutrients but releases it over a much longer period so can help stablise your output. Protein is also a slow release energy source but too much isn't good for you (plus it causes constipation if you don't get enough fibre). A good source of fibre takes us back to those healthy fruits and vegetables ;)

  • I'm worn out just reading your post linlow! 😉

  • fingers crossed for a quick recovery then :P

  • Hey everyone. I think this lack of motivation is in everyone, but perhaps it is harder-hitting if you are prone to depression. I totally agree with the notion that only you can get up and do everything things. No-one is going to do it for you. Depression for me island knowing I have to do something, but having no motivation to do it. If I end up not doing it it makes me even less confident. If I DO do it then it takes up so much mental (and by extension physical) energy that the next time the anxiety is even more acute. it's so destructive. And applies to everything, from getting up to work, to doing the dishes, to meeting new people, to the real killer - the fear of the next day.

    For everyone out there with depressive thoughts (prob everyone to differing degrees), keep battling and find your own way. I'm still fighting.

  • There doesn't need to be a point to your post - it's about sharing our feelings. You're very brave x

  • Wow, could have been me written your post, so similar to you at the moment, I've got an 8 year old son and I really really struggle to get his dinner etc done. Washing up is sky high (unlike me) and I can't be bothered to change or shower, can't watch tv, it aggravates me, even puttingthe washing machine on is an effect, and if I do, I can't be bothered to hang it up to dry, let alone any ironing. So, so, fed up, .......it's so annoying as well don't you agree, you just want to be "normal" and full of energy ! lol! (Sigh!) You have my complete understanding of your post, best wishes and kind regards Esined x

  • Hiya,

    This sounds similar to myself. These symptoms often cause aches and feel bogged down and overwhelmed alongside how easily influenced I am to solve the issues described in the post by ignoring the issue till I feel better it's a real struggle. To keep up.

    I wanted to say about what helps me though: i'm trying to learn mindfulness and meditation to timeout: it'd be easier in the tidy house but at best they'll accompany each other again in time. I find eating homecooked meal once a day at least means the kitchen has to circulate things and remains cleaner because it's being used. This in itself helps the task appear less daunting and more easily approachable.

    I was diagnosed with boarderline personality disorder as a result of many o these symptoms do consult a Dr as depression is just one form of mental illness amongst any x


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