I hate myself!!

[Lynzhoppy1]

Hi everyone,

I hope you’re all having as good a day as possible.

I’m really struggling at the moment, the biggest overriding feeling is that I hate myself. I’m ridiculously down and depressed, I’m anxious, emotional, angry, sad, withdrawn and sick to death of crying all the time! I’ve been this bad for a few weeks now and just can’t get myself out of this hole! I’m on antidepressants and have been for years, my GP is aware of my MH issues.

My partner and I are constantly arguing, he’s friends with a female and they message each other often. I hate it, it makes me paranoid, jealous and scared. He knows this as I have told him, I’ve not asked him to stop being her friend nor would I. But at the same time I’m torturing myself and him over it! I have numerous health conditions and have been off work since last year, I feel very isolated and just want to give up. I can’t see any point in carrying on, I’m miserable and make everyone around me miserable. I just don’t know what to do

[Newbie17]

Hi missus.. Please don't do anything silly, I had these feelings myself last year at Christmas.

This time of year always gets me down put deep down I know things aren't as bad as they actually seem.

If you feel things between your partner and yourself aren't feeling good then try spending a week apart, believe me I do exactly that when I need my own time to think.

I'm sure you have alot of friends that live you and care about you more than you truly realise.

You will always have a team of friends behind you using this website and I for one am one of those.

Never give up,never give in life can be amazing.

Sleep more often

Try cutting things out your meals.. bread try gluten free

Put on a funny "piss yourself" comedy or comedian that makes you literally wet yourself with laughing.. eat dark chocolate.

I for one listen/ watch ASMR on my Kindle via YouTube and watching any/ one of those makes me relax so much (Try a HOT lavender bath before though)

Hope this lifts you up and makes you realise you are greater and cared about more than you know. xx

[Newbie17 in reply to Newbie17]

P.s- It would help if I read what I wrote before sending.

*But deep down

*Love you and care about you

I should have put lol 😂

Chin up xx

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Lynzhoppy1, and welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear things are so difficult for you at present. It may help you to talk to your GP about your antidepressant medication and how effective this is. Also, perhaps some cognitive behavioural therapy may help you. You can talk to your GP about this, also [it may also be worth asking if you can have some support from your local Mental Health Team]. Take some time out to do something you enjoy for a short time and remember that you are not alone. Please stay on the forum where you will receive help and support from other members. Thank you and best wishes.

[marigold22]

Hi, I felt like you do earlier this year. I changed my diet - I cut out all grains (not just eating glutein free), all carbohydrates, cut out as much sugar as possible, and I added 'good fats'. I have read that our brains are made of 80% fat so this low fat diet or we will all die of heart disease is a load of tosh. Our brains need good fats to work properly. I added full fat milk (blue top), double cream, real unsalted butter, olive oil, nuts, plain bio yoghurt, avocados, any type of cheese, oily fish (tinned mackrel is my favourite). I can eat all vegetables (with melted butter on them), all types of meat and fish, all salad stuff (with olive oil or Hellmans mayonnaise, not low fat), eggs, even eggs & bacon, can drink Bovril, warmed milk with cocoa powder (not drinking chocolate), Lindt high cocoa chocolate slab, beans (I buy tins of mixed beans & baked beans from supermarket & drain off liquid). We are what we eat.

You may also need more vitamins and minerals. Vitamins C, D, all B's are vital to have enough in your system, also magnesium, zinc. Low vitamins & minerals can cause bad depression and anxiety. Also low iron in your blood. If these feelings continue, I suggest you go & ask your GP for blood test. GPs know nothing about vitamins & minerals & can't be bothered to learn, but at least you can have the quality of your blood checked.

[CraigR]

I go for long walks but now my legs are tired........... I am on 20mg of Fluoxetine a day but it hasn't started to work yet........................

Books by Doctor Wayne Dyer may help you ?

[Lynzhoppy1 in reply to CraigR]

I’m not physically capable of going for long walks, I barely leave the house at all. Which probably doesn’t help my mood but there’s not a lot I can do about it. My duloxetine obviously needs reviewing but getting a doctors appointment is like trying to plait snow!

I’ll have a look at the books, thank you.

I hope your meds start to kick in soon and you soon pick up x

[ochaye]

Try and remember a week, day or hour when you felt OK in the past. I hate myself is a thought. This thought is bound to trigger the feelings that come with hating yourself. It will give you rubbish physical symptoms and you will behave in ways that will lead you to think more and more that you hate yourself. Self-soothe. Tell yourself you love yourself. Recall the good things that you've done for others in your life, and things you have done for yourself that were good ... and don't dismiss them. Can you do anything about your partner being in contact with another? It sounds like you can't, as he is not prepared to stop interacting with the female. There might be a respect issue, in that he is not prepared to do something about an action that distresses you. Having said that, controlling him will get you nowhere. We can't do anything about the future. It's futile worrying about what might happen. The worry is therefore hypothetical. Let the worry go. Shrug your shoulders. Accept that worrying over things that might happen is a waste of time, and exhausting. Gym. Back to work plan. Use your GP. Have a facial. Anything you used to like doing that you're not doing now :0)