Let me tell you a bit about myself, I am a guy, a nerdic guy who is interested in computer and science stuffs , I became an atheist over a year ago, and I am a funny person who likes making people laugh,and I like writing motivational articles because I know how it feels like to be down. I have no best friends, although plenty acquaintances. I am not close to any of my parents, not even any of my sisters. I have been heartbroken in the pastpast plenty times, I have really grown up mentally and emotionally, I have more control of my emotions now.
But there is a problem. I feel life isn't fair on men. Life isn't easy for guys, women are always favoured in everything. Women are considered weak and are thus pampered and well protected. Guys are expected to be strong, to be on their own, to not defend themselves against women, to pursue women , to adore women, to provide for women,women are the ones expected to be weak, to cry,to express their emotions, men are to man up,to shut up,to never express weak emotions,to never cry, men cannot be considered to be physically or sexually assaulted by women,if something bad happens to a man he is told to be a man, if something bad happens to a woman, she has everyone's shoulder to cry on. Ohhh what a critically imbalanced world we live in. I hate the fact that a man has to be the one chasing after a woman, and the woman does the rejecting,why not the other way round? Why is it a gift from a woman when a woman has sex with a man. So sad being a guy. Also why do I have to be a certain way for ladies to be sexually interested in me, I have to be the funny,spontaneous, flirtatious guy, before ladies can droll over me and want to have sex with me, why is it just the man making all the efforts to have sex,while ladies can get it from any decent man they want. I hate myself,I hate being a guy. If I can cut off all my sexual urge, and become someone without any sexual need/desire, I wouldn't care less about ladies or anything. I hate humanity. Humanity stinks. I wish things were balanced. I am just sick and very ssad.
Do i need help? Help from where? From the same imbalanced humanity? Maybe I am not of this world.
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AnyName123
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Hi I understand what you are saying but I suggest you see FindingMe's post very recently and you will see some issues from a woman's side.
It's not a bonus for women to be seen as 'weak' you know! How can we be taken seriously in either work or play with that idea? Women wouldn't be able to compete in the workplace (and this still happens) and therefore earn quite a lot less than men. If a woman needs a 'protector' then she is not in control of her own life is she? She has to depends on men to look after her. Would you like that as a man? Also not every woman has a partner or indeed kids, though most do but then men do too.
I hate the sterotyping of both men and women, and what most people don't understand is that if women are able to be freer and more independant, then men would be less pigeon holed too - it's a win win sitution.
I think you will find that women like men to show their emotions rather than be the stereotypical macho male. A real man can do that, so the best advise is just to be yourself. Sometimes strong but sometimes weak like all of us and accept that's ok. x
Hi AnyName123, it seems to me that you have once been hurt in a relationship?
Clearly you need to know women are people not sex.
Building a relationship is pretty much the same as building a house. You need the location, the foundations, and then little steps of blocks.
There are a lot of give and takes to building a relationship. But is isn't a good start if your singular goal is sex.
We have all been hurt along our lives in on way or another. So trust is, if you like a massive part to a relationship. It forms the foundation.
You need to think about your reasons for wanting a relationship with a woman. Because if it is be all and end all sex... you won't get very far.
Yes women want to be treat equally, this is because society has always favoured the stronger of our species. And women still aren't naturally treated equal. We are supposed to be a developed advanced society, but it still goes on... equal pay for instance. It's wrong that women should even have to ask.
Woman are also gorgeous and need to be treat with upmost respect. As you, women are also very aware of others intentions. So you've got to get yours right.
I mainly agree with you tinyone but not the bit about 'gorgeous', unless you mean beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is far too much emphasis by men on beauty and some men just seem to want arm candy. it's what's inside that counts. Everyone should be treated with respect not just women you know. x
Your last paragraph jut emphasized my point. "Women are gorgeous and should be treated with upmost respectrespect. So men are ugly and should be treated with upmost disrespect by the gorgeous women uhn? Total rubbish
Oh no you didn't Olderal! And why would you want most of the power anyway? So you can rule and tell us women how to run our lives? What has changed to a large extent is right based on might, and this is totally right. Mens right are still largely womens priveleges. x
Olderal, Men didn't give it away, women fought to try to get a fair share, and although it may seem as if you gave power away most research shows there has been very little change - yes, the vote - but domestic violence is increasing rapidly and there is still the pay inbalance as well as many women finding they are still responsible for childcare and treated as bodies rather than as people... You seem to have a low view of women, but also a low view of yourself, what's that about? Sue
Once men and women saw that they were different, but needed each other to survive, and so mutually respected each other. They lived together in large groups and shared the work. Then one day, when the so called clever human race invented devices to allow men and women to manage without one another, except in childbearing, the balance was interrupted. Maybe men started to fear that women would no longer need them, so they began to use their superior (in the most cases) strength to dominate women. Women are smart and together very powerful, so men devised situations where they could isolate women (such as in the home). Men began to create their own groups, where women were banned, in order to keep control. They used sexual shaming, customs and religion to make women feel they could not survive without a man to give them status, a name, and a home. Women became more and more restricted and their only power was in their ability to seduce a man and bear his children. Eventually women realised how much they had lost, and fought back. We are all still fighting. If we could stop fighting and go back to a time where all people had value, and we all lived more closely together, perhaps we could change things, but men have got used to having this power. Many of them find it hard work, and would like to be able to enjoy a close loving relationship with a woman again, but their peers are collectively still too scared to allow this to happen, except in private. Until enough men stand up and denounce this attitude, women will have to keep on fighting.
If you are tired of this situation, you need to go out there with the attitude that men and women are equal (and the belief in your heart that this is true), and maybe you too will find love. However you will have to learn to cope with the women who are suspicious of your motives, worried that you are playing them, and frightened of losing their individuality once they yield to you.
Yes you do need some therapy to see why you think life isnt fair on you and why you think you may hate girls and why you see women as weak because you can not speak for all men this is about you
I don't think it's wise to touch the subject. We don't know them and we are not Dr's. We don't know if the idea 'they need help' will push them over the edge. It's wise to point them to a Dr who can decide.
I said nothing of the kind Mandy. I asked him to try and change how he looked at the world. I never told him to get therapy. I would never do this or hint at it. Please just be honest when you may have made a mistake.
I said that. Mandy, this is not a game of point out who said what. I'm trying to make you aware of something. One can have a view that is different. There is no need to get defensive.
These forums are for advice and support......If members see something they find inappropriate or offensive they should report it to admin by using the report option next to the reply option
I agree 100% that this is not a game in any way what so ever ....Depression is a debilitating condition to live with as many of us know
I dont agree with you that i made a mistake.... and was confused as to why i was singled out when other members also agreed that therapy or counselling could be an option so perhaps my confusion came over as being defensive.
Merry Christmas
Take care
Whilst I agree humanity as a whole certainly has some problems, dismissing the whole lot and saying it stinks is unfair. There are plenty of genuinely kind, caring, open-minded people out there. They just don't, for the most part, shout as loudly as the unempathizing judgemental types.
I would agree with a few of the other replies here in that you should seek advice and dialogue with a counsellor or therapist. As I know from personal experience, they can really help you open your mind to new avenues of thinking.
Jeez, what world do you live in. The one I live in, women are put down, held back, and used as often as not, by men. Women are often ignored in favour of men, paid less for the same job, their views disregarded, their contributions forgotten.
Women are valued for their looks and their childbearing status and once they lose these qualities they are invisible. Divorced middle-aged ladies find themselves on the outside of society, good only for looking after their families and elderly parents, whereas older men are often valued in the workplace for their experience and supposedly improving looks. If you do not believe me ask any older actress or TV personality.
Women could probably get sex if they wanted to sleep with someone who is rude, abusive, calls them a tart afterwards, whereas a man can get sex and think himself a stud after. If a woman is raped the whispers start, saying she asked for it, whereas if a man is raped no-one ever says that. These days plenty of men win court cases for being sexually assaulted.
The days of a man protecting a woman because she is weak are long gone. Weakness is used by men as an excuse to take what they want.
So, before you criticise someone, try walking in their shoes for a while.
You wrote: women are queens,men are slaves licking their asses.
How have you got this data? Can you see that your view of yourself as a man is just so low right now? Woman have no more power. You can take control when you like. It's your choice. You are acting like a victim here. I know, I have done it for years!
This world does not work the way 'we want it too' it is not here for us, to order, get what we want, when we want. That's not how nature is. We have a chance to live but to live in a way that means something to you requires something that WE ALL need to develop...courage. I think it's why we are actually here. Gender has nothing to do with it. You can live a good life but you will need to change how you see the world.
I'm going to be very honest in writing my reaction to you... and you will most likely 'blame me because I'm a woman.' But that will not be MY problem. You are feeling very sorry for yourself....and you are choosing to dwell on your negative thoughts. I AM sorry for you. Because its got to be miserable the way you feel and it certainly prevents you from being at peace...peace of ANY kind.
You genuinely need to find a good, professional therapist... I have a feeling you are only around 16 to 18 years old....???
Maybe some horrid trauma DID actually happen to you and this is what turned you this way... but I can genuinely sense there is something within you that you are very afraid of recognizing...
Please, please see a therapist. You really need to. You DO deserve to be happy, but you will find that the key lies within yourself...and not with blaming others.
I think you should not believe everything you read. Most online tutorials are written with the express aim of selling something, such as a book or DVD. They tend to generalise, exaggerate and dramatise relationships, in order to convince people that they cannot manage life without the 'help' offered. In fact people have been managing perfectly well for thousands of years. I suggest you stop reading this rubbish and go out and see for yourself, that there are plenty of nice people out there who, if treated decently, will be decent to you. If on the other hand, you have taken on board all this negativity, then maybe for the sake of the women of this world, stick to staying in with your computer for company.
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I'm such a mess today, I cant stop crying and I want to end things with him
I feel a Fraud, a Fool and a Failure. Suicide seems sensible.
Feel like I am going mad
