I've failed again.

[darkshadow]

I thought I was getting better and have been full of advice for others but, over the festive season, I have sunk low again--crying every morning and being bad tempered off and on throughout the day.

I am still on 50mg of Sertraline in my reduction programme but I have stopped kidding myself about being free of all medication. Every day is an awful trial. I feel alone with no-one to really talk to. I think we depressed folk know instinctively those we can talk to and those we can't. The weather here hasn't helped.I'm sick and tired of the moaning and howling of the wind round the house--day in and day out.

It's been relentless. I've been racking my brains as to what else I can do to relieve this overpowering sadness but there is no answer.

[Hidden]

Hi DS I am so sorry to hear that. Do you think you are coming off your meds too soon? Have you been well on them for at least 6 months? I admire your attempts to wean yourself off but if your depression is returning maybe you need to increase them again until you start feeling a bit better. It doesn't mean you won't succeed in coming off again in the future, but sadly some of us have to accept that we will be on them for the foreseeable future.

I often find when I am feeling low a long walk in the fresh air can help to blow the cobwebs away even if it is wild and windy, or maybe especially. I hope things improve for you soon love. Bev xx

[Photogeek]

Hi ther DS , no you haven't failed, try not to see things in such extreme

Black and white way. As Cough says maybe your Meds are not enough for

You right now.

January is notorious for Depression and the days are so short. Maybe your

Trying to get off Medication and really you might have to accept his that you need

It.

Here's the thing , which is worse ( a). Medication free and miserable and crying

Every day or ( b) Medication and having a good quality of life.

Why not wrap up well, plug in some music on IPod if you have one

And go for a walk or even to a cafe for a nice cuppa. Doing nothing

Is the worst thing , you got to break that downward spiral , so get your

Coat on .

Hope your feeling better soon, if you get worse don't hesitate to see your GP.

Hannah

[secondhandrose2 in reply to Photogeek]

I think Hannah is right about it being the time of year, January is the worse month of all for feeling very low or becoming ill so hold that in mind and remember there will be sunny days coming soon - I always find I think I need more meds at this time of year, but a couple of months later realise I feel very much better without them.

Hope you feel better soon,

Suex

[Hidden]

Hello Darkshadow

How are your eyes, you were last on I feel when you had just had an Operation on Your Eyes

If you are feeling very low because of the weather this time of year would a daylight lamp not help lift your mood. ?

Before Christmas they were selling them in Asda o LIDL, they were quite reasonable in price. They seem to lift mood first thing in the morning.

One thing you could also try is make an appointment with your GP and ask regards day centres where you would be amongst people who you can talk to. They arrange activities and that also help to lift your mood.

Your GP may be ble to arrange some help from Social Services or some other organizations that can pop in and see you Or pick you up a few times a week, Sometimes lunch is provided,

Age Concern have some Day Centres and that would help you break your day.

Talk to your GP. If needed we are always around for a chat

BOB

[Moonmoo]

You're not alone. I too thought I was doing so well and just hit a low at new year. This time of year is hard. It's dark and miserable. You are not crying alone.

I am going to the advice on here and go for a walk at the weekend. If you were near I would drag you with me!

I hope you start to lift soon. Huge hugs

Xxx

[darkshadow]

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Some of your suggestions are very sensible but I can't follow them because of my little dog. I can't bear to leave her at home so that I can go to a day centre etc because she can't cope with being left without me. She literally follows me from room to room and gets distressed if she isn't with me. I love her like a child so it would be toomuch for me to cope with as well.

I have already felt a huge benefit from taking her for walks. I gulp in the fresh air and feel uplifted when I get home again. The thing is we've had severe gales and rain here in Orkney for weeks now. It's relentless so we haven't been out very much.

Also, Xmas and New Year always make me sad since I've lost so many loved ones.

I agree that it's likely that I won't be able to do without my medication but thought it was worth a try. This is probably the worst time of year to do it though.

Bob, I am due to see the eye consultant next time he is up in Orkney but I don't think I have anything to worry about on that score. My retina is ok and it was just floaters I was seeing. I'm assured they are harmless albeit a nuisance.

Thank you once again. x.

[Hidden]

Hi, Sorry to here you are feeling so low. I felt the same and had to get my medication which I'd reduced increased again. I felt bad about it too then I remember how bad I was last Christmas and thought about that was better with me this year. That helped me a bit.

I am also using a SAD light and taking extra vitamins and minerals as I know that before the depression I always felt low at this time of year anyway. Bad thing is that I resorted to comfort eating as well and although I'd been doing well at avoiding the chocolate I think I've eaten far too much chocolate over the past few weeks. So now I need to include more exercise as well, but just can't get the energy to do that today.

Talking to someone might help you work out where the overpowering sadness is coming from and talking to someone who is objective and you trust may help you see good things that have happened that you have forgotten about.

We all tend to focus on the bad things, but forget the good things that have happened and someone who's objective and honest with us can make us see the good things.

I hope you can find someone you trust to talk too.

I'm hear if you need to talk to a fellow sufferer.

Take care and I hope things improve for you soon.

[darkshadow]

Hello, 20V. Nice to hear from you again. I hope you're coping not too badly.

I think you've hit the nail on the head re someone to talk to. My best and oldest friend died in March and I'm still missing her very much. The other friend to whom I could talk about this left the area in May so she's also out of reach for a good chat. She used to come to me for lunch every Wednesday and we told each other everything so I'm missing her as well. I don't want to worry my sons and, although they know I'm depressed, I keep the extent of it from them The same applies to my brother who is now 78. It wouldn't be right to burden him either.

The reason I decided to reduce my Sertraline was that they didn't seem to be helping me as much as they once did. I was on 150mg and didn't think it a good idea to increase the dose to 200mg. I have to come off them before I can try another drug. I've been on them since 2006. I think this is why they stopped helping me. It looks as if I'll have to persevere for now though God knows what I'll be like for the period of time I'm on no tablets and before I start new ones.

[darkshadow]

Hello, everybody. I have so many unpleasant side effects from this new tablet that I'm going back to my doctor for advice. I wasn't to see him for a month but I don't care---a full head, lack of balance, sweats, dreams and sore, itchy rashes especially on my ankles and legs, tiredness, tears and bad temper. I imagine all antidepressants will have the same effects but I want to find out if that's the case.

[darkshadow]

Hello again, everybody. Been on new medication for 4 weeks but not much better. Small dose--25mg. Saw doctor last week. I was feeling better that day so that's what I told him. Unfortunately, I've slipped back since then. Relentless sobbing this morning. My BP is so high that I've been given a monitor to take home. I have to take 2 readings in the morning--10 minutes apart--and the same at night. So far they are not good. I'm very tired as well but I must take my age into account I suppose. Like "Queen", "I need to break free"!!! I wish I had something to look forward to.

[darkshadow]

Not been here for wee while. Not in a state of mind to offer much help to anyone.

Getting better slowly now--I think and hope.

I've come to the conclusion that, as well as my predisposition towards depression, I simply don't have enough variety in my life. If I could change that, I think I would feel brighter. There are obstacles to doing that: one is that my basic nature makes me not inclined to join groups, take part in any sport, go to concerts etc, etc.

The things I enjoy are either beyond me now(dancing) or don't involve other people( learning more about our universe, interior design, gardening, history. I can pursue all of these at home with the help of my books, TV and computer. The only outside activity I enjoy is walking my dog but the recent weather has prevented that. Slippery roads and trudging through slushy snow is not my idea

of fun.

On the bright side, two worries have been removed: would you believe that my high BP readings were caused by my putting the monitor, tube etc on THE WRONG WAY!! My sister-in-law--a former nurse-- showed me my mistake and ever since, my BP has been like a teenager's. Whoopee! The other incident involved my dentist. He injured my lip while filling a tooth and it became a lump which refused to heal even after two months. I knew that such a long lasting sore should be reported so I was given an appointment with the hospital dentist to have it removed. I kept checking it for any changes and two days before my hospital appointment, it vanished. How's that for good luck? I cancelled the surgery.

I'm glad that January and February are past for this year. I have a trip to look forward to later. I'm invited down to Fife to stay with a good friend. I will take the all night ferry to Aberdeen(free for my age group if you were born in Orkney) and then the free bus(anywhere in Scotland) to Perth. My friend will meet me there as she lives only 10 miles away. My sons have made this possible as theyhave agreed to each take some days off work to look after my darling little dog, Chica.

Sorry for such a long post but, when I got started, I couldn't seem to stop. Thank you all for being so nice to me. xxx.

[Baddog]

Wow I'm here with that, we're are you that it's so windy . Can I come if I get better! I love the wind !!!😺

[darkshadow]

Sorry, Baddog. I just noticed your post now--3 months later. I live in The Orkney Islands, off the north coast of Scotland.I was born here and have lived here all my life except for the years I was at uni. The older I am, the more I realise it is a great place to live. I wouldn't live anywhere else in the whole world. My family and all my memories are here.