I have anxiety and depression and work a full time job. I've been taking medication for about 4 months now and things were improving but I had a massive crash in mood and overall health about a month ago.
My Dr signed me off work for 2 weeks - but I didn't really want to do that as I think the perception at work would not be great and I had things planned that needed to be done at those particular times - so I worked most days at home and did a couple of days properly at work.
I felt a bit better by the end of those 2 weeks but was very anxious about an important day with my boss and his boss on Monday. Needless to say it went horribly. I had to walk away and cry in the toilets loads of times during the day as it was just overwhelming.
The feedback at the end of the day was horrible. I thought by saying I couldn't do that day would give a perception that I couldn't do my job - but now I've actually demonstrated to them that I can't.
I've been torturing myself about this all week, I finally called my boss today to talk about it and just cried all through the conversation. We are meeting next week to discuss what to do next.
From the conversation today I think he now thinks I'm not capable at doing my job. I think he may want to talk about being demoted into a different role - not something I want or actually can afford - but my head can't think clearly about what I should be saying as all the my negative thoughts are bombarding my head saying that I must be useless etc
I want so much just to be able to function as normal, but this has been going on all year so should I just accept my capabilities? Or try and fight my corner.
I really just want to curl up under my duvet and hide from the world.