new to this….

[19Girl]

I'm new to this so i'm not sure what to write, all i know is i have no one to talk to about my feelings, i've tried talking to some close people and they think i just need to buy a new bag, or shoes to cheer me up.. but I'm being serious and they just don't get it.

i'm a young girl, I've moved two hours and a half away from my home, and I'm not settling in at all…

also had a lot of problems with people around this new area, and i dont know how to handle it

x

ps. has anyone got any advice, not to sure how i write these post things….

[19Girl]

i've also lived here 2 years ! surly i should be settled by now? and theres so much more to my story…

[Hidden]

Hello 19girl

I gather you are in your late teens

You are living some distance from your comfort zone, did you move for college or some other reason.

What kind of trouble are you suffering, can we help ?? We need some crumbs.

BOB

[19Girl in reply to Hidden]

Yes, I'm 19, I'm living away from everything I know, friends, family, apart from my mum who I'm so so close with, I moved for college which was the hardest 2 years of my life, as the people haven't made it very easy for me to settle in and not knowing anyone,

And basically i have trust issues, iv been messed around so many times as well I know I'm young, but there's one lad who I fell in love with here and the only reason I keep on going and getting on with life in this town, but he turned out to be a cheat and lied and everything was fake! when it felt so real like a fairy tale!

Thank You For Commenting

[Hidden]

Hello 19Girl

Generally moving away from home for the first time can be a real trial and what with studying and meeting new people life can become very intense.

My College days were very challenging and I was one of the youngest taking my course exams. Many in my class were from the Merchant Navy and life at sea can be very rough and that with other things made me look for another way forward.

When I was studying I made the error of becoming engaged and that also proved a distraction from my studies. Sad to say my relationship was broken by family and that gave me further problems.

One thing I went through when at College was peer pressure and that was a great part of my problems. With those who were courting to those who were not that caused friction and that lead to bullying as my education began to suffer, the more I became distressed the more I began to flop and my family were putting pressure on me to study, of course that just made me worse and many of the younger students were envious of me courting. The older students would try and go through the lectures with me at lunch time and I was to distracted to continue.

I do not know your full situation although college distraction can be counter productive.

How many years have you got to complete, is your course work ok ?.

BOB

[19Girl in reply to Hidden]

I never realised how hard it would be, I only moved because my mum wanted to move back to where she grew up, or I'd move back to my dads, but I can't hurt my mum she's happy here

My course was 3 years and I finished it last Wednesday, and I start university in September for another 3 years, so it means another move, and to meet new people and a whole new start once again.

I'm hoping it's better but I'm just so nervous it will knock me down even further, as when I look forward to something it always goes wrong, so I try not to think about it x

[Hidden in reply to 19Girl]

Hello 19girl

You now know what can cause problems, so you should be able to work around them.

Remember you are going to learn, the less distractions you have, the sooner you will be able to start that life you are dreaming for.

Personally I cannot give you advice as such, it is your life. Remember love can distract a student and that in turn can make you stand out in a crowd. Walk slow, you do not have to retire from Uni and its recreation, just keep your head and enjoy your course.

If you need to chat, we are always here.

BOB

[Photogeek in reply to 19Girl]

Hi 19 it can be daunting to move away from home so young. What were you studying? Now is it that your Mum moved and you had to move with her, I'm not sure if I understood you correctly. Have you talked to your mMum about how you feel, as I'm sure she would support you too. It's a pity that your Mum couldn't wait until you were finished in college, before she moved.

Don't worry about ex boyfriend as it can be a learning thing that

Most teens go through. I know I had that experience too at your

Age and it was painful, but I got over it and it's also nice to be

Your own person and you dont always need a boyfriend to

Be happy. It's only by being alone that you begin to know yourself ,

So take your time before going into any new relationships.

I'm sure there will be a student Counselling service attached

To your University, access it And use it when needed. You are

Just goi g through a period of change and it's fairly natural to

Be stressed too.

I notice you say that everything always goes wrong for you, that

Is a generalisation as you cannot know the future. Would you

Consider trying to do some CBT Course which would enable you

To challenge those negative beliefs which are not helping you.

I am sure you could even find a course online or ask your GP

To refer you for CBT. Good luck and try and enjoy each day and I'm

Sure you will be ok.

We are always here for a bit of support so do pop back and let us

Know how things are working out for you. What do you plan to study

At University? It's a fantastic time of your life so try and make it

A good time too. You have lots of choices so enjoy your life 19 Girl

Hannah

[19Girl in reply to Photogeek]

Hey Hannah, yes I moved with my mum and Iv tried speaking to her, she just says she's unhappy to but that's just because we don't have our own house at the moment and staying at my cousins house, iv slept on a sofa for nearly a year now!

Also I do fashion and textiles which I absolutely love! And with the ex boyfriend, it took me so long to actually get a boyfriend because about 2 years ago I had a breast lump and my boyfriend at the time after 3 years cut me off and didn't speak to me again, so that made me have trust issues! And this new boyfriend tried so hard for me to let him in and after him grafting I found out he was sleeping with 4 other girls! and that put me down even more when I thought things we're finally getting better.

I know I don't need a boyfriend and I'm happier when I don't have one, it's just I thought he was different and I guess we have to go through them in our life.

Also I'd move back to my home town just id have no were to stay as my dad has a drink problem and my brother has a canabis problem so I have no where to run to for a break! Xx

That's why I thought I'd try this website out and let off some steam x

Seems to help x

[19Girl]

Thank you it means a lot xx

[WantToChange]

Hi 19Girl, I really feel for you. I can relate to how you feel about moving away from home. The first time I had to move away was during a very stressful time for a university placement. I was sick a lot and lost so much weight and was suffering from high anxiety. I was above the level of what I could cope with - far above.

Don't think to yourself that you should be settled after two years. You obviously don't like living where you are. The fact you have to sleep on a couch suggests to me that you don't have your owb space you can retreat to. I would personally go insane without my own space. I find it difficult living with people full stop, never mind not having my own personal room.

It sounds like you are stressed and in very much need of a break from your situation.

I'll tell you, when I was 19 I would never have coped with being uprooted like that. I stayed at home when I went to uni when so many of my peers wanted to leave home. But there's something comforting and safe about your parent's home isn't there?

I am now 24 and feel I am now ready to move out on my own. It has taken a long time for me to come to terms with this. And even though I have fallen out with my family a lot and feel the house is too small for us, there is still a great deal of comfort available in my childhood home.

I did move in with my ex for about 6 months or so and that really helped to build my confidence. I found that I settled in quite quickly. But I never could have done this at 19!

I think you have done well to keep up with your studies while feeling like you're not grounded in your life. That's a huge achievement.

And that guy is a complete arse, by the way! Not even worth a second look.

And you know what? The upsetting thing is that we all meet guys like that, and some of us are so damn unlucky to fall for one of them. My theory is that for every 10 guys you meet, maybe 1 or 2 of them will actually be descent people that will treat you right. In fact, I'm not meaning to be sexist here, this rule goes for all people.

Don't be so hard on yourself, Huni. Life is full of crap to deal with. But there are also the good things. You could meet that 1/10 man tomorrow :). That's life, it's one big adventure. And it needs to be taken light-heartedly. I don't mean you should't make serious decisions, I just mean you have to let the bad things roll off you. I promise you will get over that guy, I've met enough bad ones myself and been broken by them. But as time went on I realised they're just not worth it and that I deserve to be happy. You do too.

Take care. Give us another message if you're struggling again, there's great support on this site xx