Help me out please

[Fantasy_16]

Can anybody help me out? I recently broke up with my boyfriend who I've been with for 4 years because I talked to a guy he didn't aprove of.. I don't know what to do I'm lost without him. I haven't ate or barely slept in 4 days. How do I get him back?

[Hidden]

Wait for him to come back to you ! it sounds like he is trying to control you! If he does not come back then you know he was not worth it , if he does come back you let him know that he will have to acept you as you are if he dont like your friends then he should not go out to the place he will see them ! he should NOT tell you who or who you can see or not! sorry if this sounds harsh but its exactly what I would say to my Daughters!!

[Fantasy_16 in reply to Hidden]

We have broken up before and have always got back together but this time seems different.. I just want him back I love him so much.

[Hidden in reply to Fantasy_16]

do you love him or are you in Love with him? jf you have broken up before was it because you spoke to someone he did not approve of? or was it someone who dissaproved of him? I only ask as my daughter went through the same kind of thing and my advice was "Be carefull if he really loves you and is in love with you he will be back for you" I did not like him as he was allways putting my daughter down with nasty remarks ! thankfully he got the message from her in the end "She loved him but was not in love with " Please dont ask me what that means I think its a woman thing !! lol I hope things work out for the best for YOU ! take care and be carefull!!!!!!!

[Fantasy_16 in reply to Hidden]

I am in love with him and I really do believe he loves me! I'm just giving him space now.

[Marz21]

Aww love. Im really sorry. Been through some break ups myself. It's really hard going, but you have to bypass your heart and use your mind just now. If you are meant for each other it will happen. Try to look forward, take it in little steps, and you will see you can start to feel ok. He will see what he is missing if he is meant for you, but you being upset, desperate about him will just put yourself in a bigger hole. Don't let this do that to you x

[Fantasy_16 in reply to Marz21]

Thank you so much! I really needed to hear this!

[ElspethMann]

Agree with the other ladies...he MUST come back to you. If you contact him you put yourself in a much weaker position to the point that he will then control you in every way. Be strong, keep busy, chin up and be positive. He must learn to respect you otherwise he's not good enough for you.

[Fantasy_16 in reply to ElspethMann]

Well he has blocked me on everything but he's done that when we broke up last time and we got back together eventually. But this time I really feel like he's done and it just hurts.

[CarolineLondon]

Oh Angel, Im so sorry, it is hard but your profile says your 18 is that right? Your emotions are so BIG when your 18. Well Im an old bird, well not old but older than you and I can tell you things will get better. Thing is relationships go through cycles so if you split there is a grieving period or you may get stuck in a cycle of breaking up and getting back together.

Can I make a suggestion because you are so young and your body and mind are still growing and changing, get a little help, some support. Go to the docs say your upset and need to talk to a counsellor, just for a little bit, a little fix you up. They will help and guide you through gaining more confidence so when he does come back you can decide on a level playing field if thats what you really want.

I know you love him and you have a big heart, but hearts are resiliant and no more so than when your young, you may feel youd die without him, but its not true and I know you think Im bonkers but for 5 minutes think about this; all the time you're with this guy maybe your true love, the one who adores you no matter what is looking for you but cant find you because you're with someone else.

Either way, be knd to yourself, distract yourself and if you have a good friend talk it out, or talk it out here dont bottle it up, you're not alone. Take heart, no one knows whats just around the corner and you maybe missing the bigger picture by just fretting about whats happening right now.

BIG KISS and a HUG XX

[Fantasy_16 in reply to CarolineLondon]

Thank you Caroline. Yes I am 18 and he is my first love been with him since I was 14 I even lived with him. I did finally talk to my mom about everything and she's going to take me to the doctor. I know its really hard right now but I'm giving him some space until he feels he's ready again.

[CarolineLondon in reply to Fantasy_16]

Well done, Well done on being so grown up and dealing with this in a sympathetic and rational way. Just hang in there Angel, take this time to build your confidence with help from the docs. You can do this, you can sort this out to your best advantage, we all need a little help now and then, no shame in that.

AND Well done for coping so far and remember we dont always know the bigger picture, just take it a day at a time, slow things down so you can cope with them and you will move forward. Im right there with you and wish you the very best of luck.

BIG KISS and a HUG XX

[Fantasy_16 in reply to CarolineLondon]

Thank you so much Arline! I'll keep you posted!

[Fantasy_16 in reply to Fantasy_16]

Caroline*

[Fantasy_16]

So today while I was gone with a friend he came by and got all his stuff and brought me mine. Does this mean he's really done? I've been praying and praying for things to work out but I feel like nothing's working. I just want him back.

[ElspethMann]

Oh Fantasy...I was 23 and madly love for the first time, I had the most wonderful time, it was everything I wanted but it didn't work out. Now when I look back, it's just as well it would never have been good for me. You'll be thinking about him day and night for a long time. You'll be thinking you'll never be happy again, you'll compare everyone with him. It's good to take one day at a time and keep yourself busy, it will get easier in time. Your such a lovely sweet person, I'm sure he'll begin to miss you. Be strong, take care of yourself, it's good to have some good female friends to be there for you and listen to you. I know you don't want to hear this but there's plenty of nice guys out there who would just love to be with you. You just need to feel better and you'll meet someone just right for you.

Keep us posted xxxxx

[Fantasy_16 in reply to ElspethMann]

Thank you elspeh! I am madly in love and that's what hurts so much, that and being together for 4 years and it just ending one night cause I was texting a guy friend he didn't approve of! But I have a lot of faith and hope everything will turn out good I've given up and put it in the lords hands, hopefully it'll get better! Thank you everyone for caring about what I'm feeling it really does help a lot just knowing people do care!

Lots of love to all of yall!

[ElspethMann in reply to Fantasy_16]

I know this a boring cliche you won't want to hear but you'll get stronger and stronger each day...and if you don't get back together you will be much stronger and more confident in your next relationship. It would be so nice for you to travel, go away with a girlfriend and some great laughs, it's the best remedy ever...start planning and saving for a holiday !!!

[Fantasy_16 in reply to ElspethMann]

Will do!

[B1990]

Poor girl! I can absolutely empathise with everything you're going through at the moment - I'm in a very similar position having just ended things with someone that I would consider my 'first love.'

I can tell you with all certainty that what you're going through is not only normal, it is absolutely temporary and won't last forever. Every day you'll become that little bit stronger and things will feel easier, I promise. Absolutely (as others have said) use this time to learn and grow; it's absolutely vital that you have a support system around you at the moment and it sounds as if your mum is doing just that.

I understand that nothing I say can truly minimise your pain but just know that you're not alone in feeling this sadness and that time will definitely heal your heart.

Chin up and stay strong. Let us know how you get on xx

[Fantasy_16 in reply to B1990]

I'm doing better already and it's only been 8 days I'm giving him the space he needs and hopefully that will work. I'm in love with him and I'll always love him no matter what! I'm just hoping and praying for the best.

[B1990 in reply to Fantasy_16]

I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling better. I know it's still raw, just take each day as it comes sweetie. Whatever happens, remember that you deserve to be happy no matter what x

[Fantasy_16 in reply to B1990]

Working on it day by day

[B1990 in reply to Fantasy_16]

That's the spirit!

[ElspethMann]

My god...I hope nobody takes the slightest bit of notice from the above post, it should be removed...nonsense. I'm sure Fantasy wouldn't be interested in this, sounds like a total scam.

[Fantasy_16 in reply to ElspethMann]

Elspeh what are you talking about?

[B1990]

I agree with elspeh - this forum is no place for this. I have noticed that the exact message above has been posted on numerous threads. Should absolutely be ignored or removed.

[Fantasy_16 in reply to B1990]

What are ya'll talking about?

[B1990 in reply to Fantasy_16]

It was just a spam/scam message - has since been deleted

[Fantasy_16 in reply to B1990]

Oh okay good!

[ElspethMann]

Is it the post I replied to. Definitely a scam, someone offering help for depression and charging money, I'll see if I can find it again. An Indian healer by the sound of it. It was below your last post. Oh I've just looked it's been deleted...good. How are you Today Fantasy. Xx

[Fantasy_16 in reply to ElspethMann]

Oh okay good! And I'm so much better today, church helped a lot I've pit it all in Gods hands and I'm praying for the best. I'm turning my life around for the best!

[ElspethMann]

Hi Fantasy...all good news and your sounding much more positive today, I hope it all works out in the best way possible for you. Keep up the good work xxx

[Fantasy_16 in reply to ElspethMann]

Thank you so much it really helps knowing people care!

[Fantasy_16]

We are back together! We are working on making our relationship stronger.

[nickh]

I'm in ur situation depression wise but I have nobody..if ur with someone that'll control u as such maybe find someone new...sorry f my typing is messed up I'm crying now 4 similar reasons...simply don't be hurting yourself because of someone else please