This is since last year that one sudden day at work I realised my super boss was particularly rude. I had just returned for my mat leaves and was working as hard as I can to finish projects that were assigned to me. I would often see my boss who was my peer earlier would often team up with my super boss on many such occasions. Where the idea was only to belittle me and find the smallest faults possible in me.
I would often cry on my way back as there was no other outlet. I never wanted to show my loser face to my new born child or my husband who is fiercely optimistic about things and whenever I would tell him about my hostile bosses, he would often pay no heed. Once he was out on an international travel, wen my super boss, got me into a cabin - of -course my boss in tow and abused me a lot and said I should leave the organization. I was shocked as I was being accused of crime I was not unaware of . Without any performance dips, I was being sent home. I was completely shattered. Throughout I had been an immensely hard working, self- made person. I managed to reach home somehow, completely laden with self-destructing thoughts but my little daughter's toothless grin saved me.
Overnight I couldn't sleep and thought of this situation through many dimensions. At the end I decided not to leave the org.as I felt that the job was was completely owned oyut of my own merit and I truly deserved it. However, heart of heart, I decided to resign once I had acquired a new job.
Since then I have been depressed. I come to work everyday and work with the same set of people . As expected, I was not given any salary hike and bonus. I am given low brow work , way below my talent and any new leader joining-in is given my feedback of the past.
I battle this everyday. Every evening I sit in my car and howl away. I am unable to get any good job. I am thoroughly depressed. I just can't move on. I am unable to bear this scoundrel woman as my boss who never gives me any opportunity at all to flourish and only keeps clipping my wings. I have to stay happy at home because it would impact my lil one.
I cannot share my day to day ordeal with my husband as he seems to be fed up and wishes that I leave. But for me, I know that the fact that I am employed, defines my sense of security and belongingness to the world. I curl myself up in the car every evening in the parking slot and howl away for 30 mins before setting out for home.
Please help me.